


Everything I wanted

by Bokuroo_trash



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Aged Up, Alcohol Abuse, Alternate Universe, Confused Bokuto, Domestic Violence, Drug Use, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Make Up, Sexual Assault, Slow Burn, daishou treats Kuroo badly, domestic abuse, kuroos going thru it, only a little, only a little tho, poor kuroo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 44,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24817696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bokuroo_trash/pseuds/Bokuroo_trash
Summary: Bokuto finally made it to play professional volleyball but at the cost of never having a romantic relationship. When he sees Kuroo with Daishou, he is reminded of the mistakes he made in high school and wonders if he’ll ever be able to get Kuroo back.Or, Bokuto turned down Kuroo in high school but when they meet again, Bokuto realizes that he wants more with Kuroo who is now in an abusive relationship.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Kozume Kenma, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Daishou Suguru/Kuroo Tetsurou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 81
Kudos: 246





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> New stuff! If y’all haven’t noticed I’m quite the whore for bokuroo hurt/comfort

Bokuto had finally done it. He accomplished his goals if not only making it to professional volleyball, but transferring to the greatest team in the country. 

Undoubtedly, he was loaded, and very popular among men and women for his skill in the sport. To Bokuto, he believed that he honestly deserved it with how hard he worked to get here.

His entire life has always been about volleyball and nothing more.

Nothing.

And while being the best of the best was a rewarding job, and the giant house he bought with his own money was a rather satisfying flex, nothing could mend the gap he felt in his heart when his plus one invitations went unused, and he had to watch as all of his team mates show off their incredibly sweet and supportive spouses.

“Bokuto~,” Oikawa smiled as he grasped tightly to his boyfriend Iwaizumi.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi has been since the dawn of time basically. It’s hard to imagine them ever being apart.

The both of them were on the team that Bokuto had just been transferred to, and the entire team had thrown a welcome party for Bokuto tonight.

“Why such a long face, enjoy your party,” the attractive boy smiled. 

If Bokuto hadn’t been such good friends with iwaizumi, he might have seen Oikawa as a bit of a love interest at first.

Though Oikawa was annoyingly conceited and a bit of a cry baby at some times, so he wouldn’t mix very well with Bokuto.

Bokuto sighed, taking a swig of beer. He walked throughout the house party, squeezing past drunk Instagram models who seemed a bit too confident in themselves and avoiding a few men that only came to these type of parties to boost their social status.

The problem with Bokuto was that he never found anyone attractive. He’d never thought about things like relationships earlier in his life, so now that he’s older, it was hard to know what he was interested in.

He walked up to the kitchen where loads of people sat, his best friend Akaashi sat next to a familiar boy with long hair, clipped up to be half up half down. 

Akaashi had stopped playing volleyball after college, even though he was probably good enough to play for a professional league. He had instead fallen for a boy from Tokyo who played video games for a living. He was a famous twitch streamer, but Bokuto hadn’t really taken a moment to watch him. Like he said before, Bokuto never really thought about anything other than volleyball. Until recently that is.

“Hey Kenma,” Bokuto smiled. It was difficult for him to talk to the boy, because he reminded Bokuto so much of his past best friend.

Kenma nodded his head, with no real emotion behind it. The boy had never been fond of Bokuto, ever since his third year of high school, and Bokuto really wasn’t sure why.

“Congrats Bokuto,” Akaashi smiled as he hugged Kenma’s waist tighter.

Bokuto smiled, taking another swig if beer. For some reason it felt like Bokuto should be saying congrats to them.

Congrats on being able to have a relationship where the two of you are happy and build off of each other. Congrats on not being a selfish man who only thought of himself and did whatever it took to succeed. 

Bokuto looked over to a group of men that were talking loudly. One of which he knew very well from high school. 

Daishou suguru. 

Although Bokuto wasn’t very fond of the cocky man, he still wanted to be able to get along with him, since they would be on the same team for a while.

“Bokuto,” the snakely man called out, motioning for him to come. 

Bokuto included himself with the group of team members.

“So, happy to be on the team?” 

Bokuto watched as the man asked. For some reason, Daishou spoke in a condescending tone, almost like he thought he was better than Bokuto for already being on the team.

“Yep, I’m grateful for the opportunity,” Bokuto nodded with a grin that he wholeheartedly did not mean. This guy rubbed Bokuto the wrong way.

Daishou could obviously see through Bokuto’s grin, so he decided to stoop a step lower. 

“Bokuto, whered your date? I’m not seeing anyone around,” he smirked.

“Don’t have anyone,” Bokuto answered, “too busy practicing,” he answered truthfully.

“Daishou,” another man laughed, “your one to talk! Where’s your man tonight?”

Once again, Daishou flashed that ugly smirk, “oh he’s at home, cleaning the kitchen of course.”

Bokuto couldn’t stand this guy. Cleaning the kitchen? Is he your maid or your boyfriend? He pitied the man that had fallen for someone like Daishou.

Rolling his eyes, he left the small group, and spent the rest of the night hanging around the rest of the team, mainly Oikawa and iwaizumi, and waited for the night to finally end.

The first day of practice rolled aroun, and Bokuto couldn’t have been more excited. He’d finally get to show his team mates just how important he would be for this team. All of his hard work would finally pay off.

He walked into the gym at around 6am and immediately decided two things.

He could not deal with the shit that Daishou was already starting this early in the morning.

And man did he have to pee.

Oikawa walked up to Bokuto with a bit of an annoyed face as well, “Daishou has got to be the worst guy alive.”

“What’s he blabbing about anyways,” Bokuto asked as he watch the man yell loudly around all of his team mate who really didn’t seem to be listening.

“I dunno. Probably about how much he hit his boyfriend last night or something,” Oikawa shrugged.

“Your kidding,” Bokuto’s eyebrows raised at the other.

Oikawa shook his head, “I wish I was... his boyfriend is really nice and does a lot for our team, but Daishou has way too short of a temper and his boyfriend is a bit of a push over.”

“I did not expect that,” Bokuto spoke as they walked to the team.

“And it’s sad because his boyfriend is the type of guy to take care of everyone else, but when it comes to himself he’s kind of an idiot.”

“Who is this poor guy?” Bokuto questioned.

Oikawa opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the coach who instructed them on today’s practice.

Oh well. It probably wasn’t that important to know who Daishou was fucking. 

After an couple hours, practice ended, leaving Bokuto a little irritated. Daishou for some reason, targeted Bokuto for the entire game and did everything in his power to make it difficult for Bokuto to even score.

“Man practice was easy today,” Daishou yelled. 

Bokuto shot him a glare, only snapping his eyes away when he heard the door to the gym creak open.

“Hey look who it is!” Iwaizumi yelled from across the gym.

“Tetsu!” Oikawa smiled excitedly.

The rest of the team greeted the boy as he walked closer to them, holding a case of waters and what looked to be a bag of fruits.

Bokuto choked. It was kuroo. His old best friend Kuroo. He couldn’t tell if he wanted to cry or scream or hug the man.

He looked... different. It wasn’t the Kuroo that Bokuto used to hang around with in high school. He was skinnier, less muscular. His body had became much more seductive since Bokuto had last seen him. Probably because he’s an adult now. His ears held tiny hoops that you could really only see if you looked hard enough. 

Kuroo’s face was also really pretty now. It wasn’t the same boyish charm that Bokuto was so used to seeing. His face had finally thinned out and chiseled out his jaw and cheek bones. His bright and innocent chestnut eyes that Bokuto remembered so sweetly, held bags and looked weary, but still warm. 

As the man greeted each player, Bokuto’s mind drifted back to the memory that haunted him for a very long time.

It had been the end of their final training camp in high school and the two had never been closer.

They sat outside in the moonlight, eating watermelon and spitting the seeds out, both competing to see who could shoot them farther.

Bokuto had accidentally inhaled a watermelon seed and was having a coughing fit.

“Oh god are you okay,” Kuroo laughed, dropping his own watermelon and grabbing Bokuto’s arm.

After Bokuto coughed out the seed he began to crack up laughing, and soon Kuroo followed with that ugly and obnoxious laugh that only he had.

The two fell on their backs, silently looking up at the night sky.

After a while of silence Kuroo spoke, “what would you do if I told you something crazy?”

“I would probably agree with your crazy comment,” Bokuto said immediately.

He felt the startled look that Kuroo had. At the time he really wasn’t sure why Kuroo was so scared, or what the crazy question was, but he found out soon.

“Bokuto. I like you,” he whispered.

Bokuto furrowed his brows. After a second of silence, Kuroo stood up, “I’m sorry.”

Bokuto wasn’t sure what to say. To be honest he had never thought of having a relationship with anyone.

“Uh,” Bokuto started, “I cant be in a relationship. I need to focus on volleyball.”

He knew he made a mistake the minute he said it. As if Kuroo came second to volleyball.

After that, Kuroo stopped talking to Bokuto entirely. He never heard from the boy again for that matter. 

It wasn’t until recently that Bokuto realized he had really been the one who made the mistake. If Bokuto hadn’t been so focused on volleyball and just opened his eyes, maybe he would’ve realized that he too felt the same for Kuroo.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he saw Kuroo walking over to him. Maybe this was his chance to make things right. Perhaps god had given Bokuto a the opportunity to really make things right with Kuroo again.

“Here you go-“ Kuroo froze dead in his tracks when he saw Bokuto. 

Bokuto could see the fear on his face and felt the anxiety building in Kuroo radiating from him.

The two stared at each other, neither of them knowing what to say or what to do. Bokuto reached for the water bottle and nodded a simple, “thanks”.

His mind was screaming. What the hell was he suppose to say? Sorry I declined your feelings five years ago but I think I made up mind now so we should date. 

But as soon as he looked back up at Kuroo, Daishou wrapped an arm around the ravens waist.

“Thanks babe,” he smirked at Bokuto as he kissed the mans cheek.

Bokuto’s eyes widened. No way.

Tetsurou Kuroo was dating Daishou suguru.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took me a min just because I changed a lot of the initial plot events in the story

Bokuto stormed out of practice.

No fucking way was Tetsurou Kuroo , the nicest, most strong willed man Bokuto had known, was living with an abusive partner.

He stomped up to Oikawa and Iwaizumi who had been walking to their car.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me Daishou was dating Kuroo?”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa looked at each other confused, “what?”

Bokuto paused for a second. He thought back to high school, realizing that Oikawa and Iwaizumi played for a different team than Bokuto and Kuroo, and really hadn’t met Bokuto until university.

“Babe, let’s grab some food,” Daishous voice broke through Bokuto’s thoughts.

He turned to see Daishou walking toward the parking lot and Kuroo following, holding the other mans bag.

It was weird to see Kuroo and Daishou together. Daishou had gotten taller since the last time Bokuto saw him, which was high school, but Kuroo had stayed the same height. The two were both the same height now.

They looked somewhat happy, walking together hand in hand. Bokuto found it hard to believe that Daishou was abusive in that moment. He also found it hard to believe that Kuroo would stay with someone so abusive.

Either way Bokuto felt uneasy about it. His stomach twisted when he saw the two together. Was this jealousy? Bokuto had never felt like this in anything other than volleyball.

He looked down to his arm which was still holding on to a very confused looking Oikawa.

“Do you two wanna grab lunch?”

Iwaizumi shook his head, “wait wait, you two were best friends?”

“It sure didn’t seem like it today,” Oikawa added as he picked at his food.

Bokuto cracked his knuckles out of a nervous habit before speaking. 

“Yeah we were best friends. But then he told me he liked me,”

Oikawa and iwaizumi’s head snapped up and they both yelled “huh?” In unison.

“You two dated?” Oikawa stood in utter shock.

“No no no. I turned him down,” Bokuto said shaking his hands and motioning for Oikawa to sit down.

As the boy sat, Bokuto watched his face contort into something resembling confusion.

“Not to sound shallow,” Oikawa started, “but Kuroo is really cute... so why?”

“My entire life has been about volleyball. I didn’t have time for relationships.”

“But you regret it now,” Iwaizumi answered, his eyes zoning in on Bokuto.

The golden eyed man sighed, “look... when I was in high school I was dumb and I really didn’t realize my feelings until it was too late. Kuroo completely ended our friendship and I never saw him again until now.”

Oikawa sipped at his drink and looked to his boyfriend. Bokuto tried to understand what the two were telepathically telling each other but all he could make out was that Oikawa’s face held concern and Iwaizumi closed his eyes and let out a slow breath, which to Bokuto seemed like some sort of unsaid agreement.

“Bo,” Oikawa hesitated at first and looked to Iwaizumi to finish.

The other sighed, “those two have a weird relationship. You need to be careful with who you tell this stuff to. If Daishou were to find out, I worry what he would do to Kuroo.”

Bokuto frowned, “I don’t believe that he really hurts Kuroo, they looked so happy today.”

Iwaizumi shrugged his shoulders, “me and Oikawa haven’t seen it, we’ve just heard about it.”

“Well has anyone asked Kuroo,” Bokuto questioned, growing a bit angry at the fact that this was even a situation that he had to talk about.

“I tried Bokuto, he won’t talk about it,” Oikawa answered sadly.

Bokuto nodded his head and poked at his salad with a fork. For some reason, Bokuto felt guilty for this. Like if he had dated Kuroo, maybe the raven wouldn’t have found himself in this situation.

It wasn’t until their first practice match that Bokuto gathered the courage to talk to Kuroo. The game had just ended and everyone had gone back to the locker room. Bokuto walked over to the boy who was waiting in the hall for Daishou.

“Hey,” Bokuto smiled as he walked over to him. It was weird, Bokuto had finally grown up to kuroo’s height.

He could tell kuroo was nervous to speak, his eyes darted around to every angle of the room until he finally met Bokuto’s own eyes.

“H-hi,” Kuroo stuttered.

Bokuto smiled, kuroo’s voice was still the same deep but soft voice he remembered. It reminded him of high school. 

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” 

Kuroo nodded his head. Bokuto knew he was making him uncomfortable. This was probably a terribly awkward situation for Kuroo.

“Look-“ Bokuto started.

“Forget about high school,” Kuroo interrupted.

Bokuto frowned, “what?”

Why forget? He didn’t want to forget about anything that had happened. It physically hurt Bokuto to hear how coldly Kuroo was speaking.

Kuroo sighed, “I’m dating Daishou, and I’m gonna have to see you a lot now, so it’s for the best that you forget about everything that happened.”

Bokuto shook his head, letting out a huff, “did you not mean it? I thought we were best friends.”

Silence moved through the room, neither really knowing what to say. Bokuto could see kuroo’s glum face, it was almost like he was too scared to even speak. It made the pit of Bokuto’s stomach burn. Where was the Kuroo he knew? 

“Fine,” Bokuto turned angrily, feeling defeated.

Kuroo grabbed Bokuto’s arm tightly. His thick muscles made it hard for Kuroo to even grip it correctly. Bokuto turned to look at Kuroo. 

His hands were skinny. They no longer held callouses from volleyball, and all muscle had left kuroo’s arms. He looked slim, and if possible, feminine?

“I meant it. But I’m with Daishou-“

“Are you happy?” Bokuto snapped.

Kuroo let his arm fall, “yes,” he said softly. Bokuto could tell that Kuroo didn’t mean it. He couldn’t even look Bokuto in the eye.

“What the hell happened to you Kuroo?”

The ravens eyes were weary. He looked around the empty hall way and back to Bokuto. It wasn’t like he could tell Bokuto what was going on, he hadn’t seen him in forever. They weren’t best friends anymore, not since Kuroo fucked it up with his heart.

He swallowed, “a lot can change in 5 years Bo.”

Bokuto felt the butterflies in his stomach upon hearing his nickname, despite the situation. The way that Kuroo said his name always made him squirm. 

He wasn’t ready to stop hearing it. Even if it meant just continuing as friends and forgetting kuroo’s past feelings. Bokuto didn’t want to let go. 

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, looking Kuroo in the eyes with so much passion it almost scared the raven.

Kuroo laughed, “hey, you got everything you wanted. Nothing to be sorry about,” he finished, ruffling Bokuto’s sweaty hair with his hand before walking into the gym to find Daishou.

Bokuto could only clench his fists. He didn’t get everything he wanted. If he had, Kuroo would be by his side and not another mans.

Bokuto sighed, if only he had realized the importance of Kuroo when he had the chance.

Bokuto crashed as soon as he got out of the shower at his house. Recently it had become painfully clear that he was very lonely. 

He rolled over in his bed. What the hell was the point of having such a huge bed if there’s nobody here to share it? 

Still though, deep in the back of Bokuto’s mind, he knew he didn’t just want anyone. He wanted Kuroo. It had always been that way, ever since Kuroo confessed. 

If Bokuto hadn’t been so obsessed with volleyball, he wouldn’t have blown his chances with Kuroo. 

He drew circles into the empty pillow, as he felt himself drifting to sleep. He wondered what Kuroo was doing.

“Are you an idiot?” Daishou shouted, digging through the laundry basket in kuroo’s hands.

“I’m sorry Daishou. It was an honest mistake,” Kuroo sighed.

Daishou was going out with some of the guys on the team tonight and he couldn’t find the shirt he wanted to wear.

He yanked out a blue t shirt from the bottom of the basket.

“This is why idiots like you don’t make it to university,” he yelled before pushing the basket out of kuroo’s hands, causing the clothes to spill out into a pile on the floor.

Kuroo was used to this by now. He dropped down to his knees and started to pick up the clothes, and place them back into the basket.

“That’s not why I didn’t go to university,” Kuroo grumbled as Daishou walked out the door, without so much as a good bye. 

Walking back to the laundry room, Kuroo couldn’t help but think about the events that unfolded with Bokuto today.

The odds really never work in kuroo’s favor. First he ends up with a man like Daishou... who’s borderline insane. 

Then he runs into Bokuto again. Not that it’s a problem to see his face again. Bokuto is warm and comforting. He made Kuroo smile even if he felt like crying. 

But Bokuto and Kuroo could never go back to how they were before. Or at least that’s what Kuroo had engraved into his mind ever since he told Bokuto he had a thing for him.

Shutting the washing machine, Kuroo sighed contently. He was done with all of his chores for the night. You would think that since Kuroo was like 23 now he wouldn’t have silly things like chores now, but Daishou made sure Kuroo knew that if he got to live with him for free, Kuroo would clean and cook everyday.

Bokuto woke up from a dream of Kuroo. It was foggy and he couldn’t remember what it was entirely about.

He only remembered bits and pieces of Kuroo running his fingers through Bokuto’s hair, or Bokuto wrapping his arms around the other man. The dream was filled with smiles of Kuroo that hadn’t been seen since high school. That weird crooked smile that Bokuto always found enthralling.

A knock on his door pulled him from his thoughts and out of his bed. 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi had come over to hang out. They all sat in the living room, stretching their sore muscles out after their practice match.

Bokuto half listened to The couple that sat together on the long couch complaining about a player from the other team they played against today.

He contemplated whether or not he should talk about Kuroo to Oikawa and Iwaizumi. There wasn’t really much to talk about really, except for the fact that they finally talked to each other.

He grabbed the remote and tried turning on the tv, but after a few taps on the power button, he realized that his tv was indeed broken.

“Ahh party pooper,” Oikawa cried watching Bokuto struggle with the remote. 

“Shit, sorry guys,” Bokuto stood to look at the tv, inspecting the back where all the plugs were. He had no idea what he was doing, he had never been good with electronics.

He turned to Iwaizumi, “you know how to fix this?” He asked.

Iwaizumi shook his head, “y’know I think kuroo’s pretty good with this stuff.” He answered.

“Let’s call tetsu!” Oikawa smiled excitedly. He sat up and grabbed his phone, before making himself comfortable in his boyfriends lap.

“Uh I don’t know if that’s the best idea,” Bokuto shook his head. He wasn’t sure what terms Kuroo and him had left on. It didn’t seem like they hated each other, but he wasn’t sure that they were really friends again either. 

“The least you’re can do is try,” Oikawa smiled, “Hes really fun to be around.” 

Bokuto presses his lips into a thin line and sat down when he decided that Oikawa wasn’t taking no for an answer. He watched as Oikawa put the phone to his ear and waited for him to speak.

“Tetsu! What are you doing right now?”

“I just finished cleaning why?”

“Come fix my tv!” 

“Dont tell me what to do you primadonna.”

“Sorry sorry, so mean. Please come fix the tv.”

“Alright alright, I’ll be over in a second.”

“Oh one more thing.... I’m actually at Bokuto’s place.”

“.... you know Kenma’s actually much better at these thing maybe call him-“

“Kuroo, come over. Have some fun before Daishou comes home.”

After a minute of silence Kuroo sighed, “alright, text me the address.”

“Oh wait, bring food too!”

“I’m hanging up now Oikawa.”

Oikawa ended the call and smiled, “he’ll be here soon!”

Bokuto nodded his head nervously. This would be the first time they had hung out in a while. It sent chills down his spine and made his stomach twist for some reason. Probably his nerves.

Bokuto left the living room when the door bell rang.

His nerves danced through his whole body, but as soon as he opened the door, they were washed away by kuroo’s friendly face.

He held two large bags of what looked to be tacos from Taco Bell.

“Taco Bell?” Bokuto questioned.

“Uh Oikawa told me to grab food, and If I remember correctly, Taco Bell is your favorite fast food.” Kuroo answered.

He actually smiled as he walked through the door, surprising Bokuto, and putting a smile on his own face. The fact that Kuroo could remember such a small detail like that, gave Bokuto hope that maybe, just maybe, things could go back to the way they were before.

He decided to joke, “ehh I’m more of a salad guy now.”

“Haa,” Kuroo shook his head as he walked next to Bokuto, “five years can change a person, but even I know you would never stoop so low.”

The two laughed wholeheartedly. It felt nice to see Kuroo again. It made Bokuto feel good to be around someone like him. There was always something to laugh about. The salad thing had been a joke they started when they were second years and they went out to dinner together with Akaashi, who order a salad of all things. Kuroo and Bokuto thought it was the funniest thing ever, because who would buy a salad when you could a burger or a quesadilla or something?

Bokuto led the way walking through the large dining room and then into the kitchen, that would lead to the living room eventually.

“Looks like you finally got that big dream house you always wanted,” Kuroo smiled at Bokuto.

The bigger man met kuroo’s brown, soft eyes. Bokuto had always said that one day he would make it to play pro and get that big house to live in. He felt kind of guilty now, given the circumstances with Kuroo, he probably thought that he would have held Bokuto back if they had been together.

As they walked into the living room he answered, “yeah but at the cost of being alone.”

Kuroo whipped his head around to look at Bokuto. He was shocked to hear him say that. Bokuto had always said he wanted to be successful, and Kuroo didn’t think he was interested in relationships. Maybe Kuroo read him wrong. It felt like Bokuto wanted Kuroo to hear that, almost like a confession.

Oikawa interrupted his thoughts by running up and hugging Kuroo.

“I didn’t know you two were so close,” Bokuto smiled as he continued to walk through the room. He sat down on a bean bag.

Oikawa turned, “bottoms stick together if you know what I mean,” he smirked, wrapping a slim around around kuroo’s neck while he blushed.

Bokuto felt his own face heat up as he laughed that off. He didn’t want to hold an image like that in his head. Kuroo has a boyfriend, so it would be wrong of him to think like that.

...but it’s not like anyone here can read minds.

So it’s fine if Bokuto wondered what kuroo’s legs looks like wrapped around Bokuto’s waist. Or maybe the face Kuroo makes when Bokuto rocked his hips into-

“Bokuto”

He snapped out of his heated trance and looked to Kuroo, who was staring at him confused.

“Sorry what?”

“I asked what was wrong with the tv?” Kuroo chuckled.

He quickly composed himself and stood up to help the skinny male.

After nearly an hour of Kuroo pulling cords and squeezing behind the tv, Bokuto was about to deem it a lost cause until Kuroo asked the golden question.

“Did you check if the remote needs new batteries?”

Bokuto couldn’t help but bite back an embarrassed giggle as he opened the back of his tv remote, and not only realized that these batteries were insanely old, but one of them was missing.

“Oh my god,” Iwaizumi groaned as he leaned back on the couch. Oikawa smiled shaking his head as he watched the other two smile at each other.

Kuroo rubbed his hands over his face, trying his best to hide his grin. He analyzed the multicolored hair man as he walked into his kitchen, grabbing the batteries and shoving them into the remote. As he clicked the on button, the tv powered up, playing some random romcom that Kuroo had binge watched more times than he would ever admit.

He continued to watch the stupid video that played on the tv that worked, holding back a unhealthy amount of laughter in his throat. His mouth covered by his hand, he turned to look at the others smiling, and then to Bokuto who sat amazed.

“Kuroo, you’re a genius,” Bokuto smiled.

He looked genuine, like Kuroo was the smartest person in the room. Which he wasn’t. He knew he wasn’t at all. Flashes of what Daishou said earlier flicked through his mind and he laughed to Bokuto, “You’re funny.”

“I’m not kidding dude, I knew you were some crazy scientist!” Bokuto encouraged as he stood in the middle of the living room area. He knew he was going a little over board, but for some reason, he felt like Kuroo could use the compliment.

Kuroo laughed again, “I told you to put batteries in your remote. Even a six year old would do that.”

Bokuto pressed his lips into a thin line. This was the part of Kuroo that was new to him. The less cocky and more insecure side, that couldn’t take a compliment. Bokuto worried that his mind was poisoned by negative people. Kuroo never used to be so hard to compliment.

He decided to let his compliment die out in kuroo’s mind, not having it in him to argue with the other. He sat on the couch with a huff staring at the empty Taco Bell wrappers that he would have to clean later.

Oikawa’s voice chimed in, “Kuroo you should stay.”

Then Bokuto peered over to Kuroo, who looked extremely uncomfortable. He smiled at Bokuto, but it was obvious how fake it was. 

“C’mon we can watch something like those old cheesy romcoms that we used to make fun of in high school,” Bokuto answered, extending an arm out for Kuroo.

After a second he realized that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to hold a hand out for Kuroo, since he had a boyfriend and all. He quickly flicked his arm to the arm rest on the couch and waited to see kuroo’s next move.

Kuroo put a finger to his own mouth, biting his nail and contemplating what he should do. Bokuto couldn’t understand what the internal struggle was. It was definitely something to do with him I’m being nervous.

Oikawa broke the silence with a knowing glance, “are you going to get in trouble for being here?” He probed.

It was very visible, but Kuroo gave Oikawa a look that said, ‘Do not bring this up in front of Bokuto,’

To which Oikawa answered with his own brown orbs, ‘I’m just trying to make you feel okay’

It was obvious to Bokuto that he was partially the reason Kuroo was so nervous to even speak about anything. Once again, that unsettled feeling pooled in his stomach. What would happen to Kuroo if he did decide to stay? He didn’t want Kuroo to leave, but Bokuto also didn’t want to see the consequences Kuroo had if he stayed. It felt like the warmth that Kuroo was giving off was being extinguished by Daishous Martial law.

“Tch, I wont get in trouble, I’m staying,” Kuroo broke in, slumping down on the ground next to Bokuto’s chair. 

Even though Kuroo said he wouldn’t be in trouble, Bokuto knew he was lying, he could read Kuroo like a book. 

He noticed how kuroo’s shoulders caved inwards as if it was a defense mechanism to everyone around him. He notice the fear in his eyes as well as Kuroo sat down. Bokuto noticed it... so why couldn’t he ask? Why did he feel like he was committing a crime to ask Kuroo if he was safe at home, or if he needed help?

It would be easy to ask if Kuroo wasn’t so protective about it. If Kuroo would just speak out and tell them, Bokuto would help in a heart beat. it would also be easier for Bokuto to ask, if he didn’t have such a difficult past with Kuroo. Bokuto knew that Kuroo didn’t trust him. They came from a past of a broken friendship and unrequited feelings. Bokuto was probably the last person Kuroo wanted to hear anything from and Bokuto didn’t want to make it seem as if he was rubbing it in kuroo’s face. Still, It broke his own heart to see Kuroo like this. So disappointed in his own self from obvious mental abuse he’d faced. People don’t just deny a compliment, they say thanks. Kuroo of all people should know that. He used to be so confident. So independent. 

Who was the boy sitting in front of Bokuto now? With the gloomy eyes and scared mind.


	3. Chapter 3

That night had ended up being really fun. Bokuto and Kuroo some how managed to get back to how they used to be, half way through the night, laughing at every cheesy scene and being way to loud during the intense quiet scenes of the movie. At one point, Kuroo swore he started tearing up from laughing so hard at Bokuto’s shitty attempt to burp quietly, to avoid an annoyed glance from Oikawa and Iwaizumi, but ended up letting out the loudest most grotesque burp Kuroo had ever heard.

When the final movie ended, Oikawa and Iwaizumi were the first to leave. Oikawa groggily hugged Kuroo goodbye and told him that they should all do this more often. 

Kuroo indulged in the hug. Oikawa probably knew the most about Kuroo recently. Although Kuroo never admitted to Oikawa that things werent safe at home, Oikawa somehow always knew when Kuroo needed him, and Kuroo was grateful for it. There weren’t many people in kuroo’s life anymore that would help him through tough times like this, and although at first Kuroo would not have expected Oikawa of all people, now he would say they were best friends. 

Iwaizumi patted kuroo’s shoulder as well, which Kuroo had realized after a while was just a sign of reassurance from the man. Iwaizumi was sort of awkward and bad with his words, but when Kuroo needed a friend, Iwaizumi was always there.

After the couple had left, it was uncomfortably quiet. Kuroo clasped his hands together behind his back and turned to face Bokuto. He looked a bit off put. Like he wanted to say something but couldn’t, or maybe didn’t know how to say it. Kuroo had a pretty good understanding of what Bokuto was probably thinking.

“Before you ask, yes. I am safe at home.”

Bokuto looked at him puzzled. He bit his lip, nibbling at the dead skin that he had gained since he rarely wore chapstick.

Kuroo smiled in reassurance, reaching for the door knob, “thank you for having me tonight. It was fun. Kinda reminded me of high school when things were easy.”

He held the door knob tighter. He really wasn’t ready to leave. Spending a night out with him friends, made him forget about everything else. Of course Kuroo would never tell Bokuto that, he didn’t need the pity. He’d felt enough of that in his life.

Bokuto looked at the other man. He felt like he was stuck between and rock and a hard place. When he looked at Kuroo, his eyes looked like they were pleading for Bokuto. Like Kuroo wanted something from him, but Bokuto didn’t know what. He hated how dense he’s was to this situation, but how could he help if he really didn’t know what was going on. He wanted to trust what Kuroo was saying. Bokuto truly wanted to believe that Kuroo was safe and happy.

But another part of him wanted Kuroo to say he wasn’t. Bokuto wished Kuroo would say he needed help. He wanted to wisk Kuroo away from there and take care of him.

But Bokuto couldn’t do that, he didn’t have the right to. Not after what he did in high school. He didn’t deserve to tell Kuroo how he feels now, after five years. 

“Tetsurou,” Bokuto started to speak, letting his fists unclench. 

Kuroo’s mind begged to hear those words, 

‘Just stay here for tonight’

Please.

‘I know what’s happening, and I want to help you’

Please tell me

‘He won’t get you tonight.’

The raven kept his composure, hand still gripping the door handle as he waited for what Bokuto was going to say.

“I’m sorry for what I said in high school.”

Kuroo’s breath got caught in his throat. No. Please don’t let me leave.

“It’s okay,” Kuroo smiled, “you we’re young and determined.”

Can’t you see the pain in my eyes. I want to be with you.

“It’s just. I don’t know,” Bokuto tilted his head, he knew he had two options. He could tell Kuroo that he truly did develop feelings for him over the years, which would probably result in kuroo’s entire world to flip upside down and stress him out beyond repair. 

Or he could hide it. God he didn’t want to do it, but he would. Bokuto knew that Kuroo was with someone, and he couldn’t spring all of these emotions on him now, just because he decided to listen to his heart after five full years.

Bokuto sighed, “I really value our friendship. I want to be friends again.” He couldn’t tell Kuroo.

Kuroo faked a smile. It was painful. Bokuto still rejected him, after five whole years. But Kuroo wouldn’t blame Bokuto. As far as Kuroo knew he was truly unloveable by everyone, even his boyfriend. 

“I want to stay friends too koutarou.” 

Bokuto smiled along with Kuroo. They were both faking it, but neither could tell. Kuroo took his leave, and dreaded what was waiting for him at home.

Bokuto didn’t see Kuroo for almost four days after that. At first he didn’t find it weird, since they had sort of just rekindled their friendship, but when Oikawa started to worry, Bokuto began to wonder what was really going on.

“Daishou, where’s Kuroo these days?” Oikawa asked, sitting crisscrossed on the ground, arms leaned behind him. They were in the middle of a 10 minute break from practice.

Bokuto listened closely, staring at the ground, holding his water bottle at his side.

“Wouldnt you three like to know,” Daishou snapped walking in front of them.

Bokuto really couldn’t stand this guy. He always had to draw the attention to himself. Even now he was yelling, just to get the teams attention. How did Kuroo put up with him?

“Yeah, obviously. That’s why he asked,” Iwaizumi glared back at the arrogant man. He stood in front of where Oikawa sat, lowkey protecting the man.

“Listen close. He’s mine. Not yours. So stop thinking you can fuck around with him, or he’ll only get himself in more trouble,” Daishou smiled. 

Several team mates eyed the man speaking suspiciously as he spoke, and Bokuto started to wonder who really liked Daishou on this team.

“He is not property,” Bokuto spoke in a low voice, meeting Daishous eyes. He truly meant this too. Kuroo had his own mind and body, so he should be able to decide what he wants to do with himself.

“Yeah Daishou,” one team mate spoke.

“You really shouldn’t speak about your boyfriend like that,” another chimed in.

Daishou walked closer to Bokuto, angrily looking the man up and down.

“What you wanna fuck him or something?” He smirked.

God Bokuto couldn’t stand him. He shook his head.

“I can loan him out to you if you want a turn,” Daishou laughed. His eyes got skinny as he read Bokuto’s expression. It was obvious to everyone that Daishou was only trying to get a rise out of Bokuto, but the fact that he could even speak about Kuroo like that was enough to send Bokuto over the edge.

His eye brows were drawn together, jaw locked in a permanent frown. His shoulders broadened and he reeled back his fist to lay a blow on the idiotic man when,

All of a sudden, Kuroo popped into his mind. If Bokuto hit Daishou right now, it would probably hurt Kuroo in some way. Physically or emotionally, Bokuto wasn’t really sure, but he knew he could not hit kuroo’s boyfriend. Even if he was an absolute piece of shit.

Instead, Bokuto dropped his arm to his side and spoke in a low, threatening voice, “treat your boyfriend better,” before turning and walking toward one of the trainers who would refill his water.

He ignore the chatter behind him, only hearing bits and pieces of Daishous annoying voice, telling everyone else that Bokuto was “all bark, no bite.”

After that excruciatingly painfully practice, Bokuto decided that he deserved something sweet. Not really knowing much about this new city he’d moved to, he sort of just wandered around in his practice clothes until he found a bakery.

He walked into the small shop, and walked up to the counter to pick something out. His stomach growled as he looked at the different muffins and cupcakes. If he could, he would eat the entire display case.

“Hey welco- Bo?” A voice called as they walked through the doors of the kitchen.

He looked up to see Kuroo, who sported a new blackish-purple bruise that danced across his face like a jellyfish.

Bokuto stood in disbelief. He hit him. Daishou hit Kuroo.

“He did this to you?” He asked, looking down at the counter. He couldn’t stand to see Kuroo like this.

“No no!” Kuroo denied. Bokuto scoffed and waited for the bullshit excuse Kuroo was about to make.

“I fell.”

Right. Sure. He fell, and the bruise just somehow looked like a fucking hand print.

“Tetsurou, it’s shaped like a hand,” Bokuto stated, finally looking up at him. Kuroo covered it with his own hand, embarrassed.

“Look, it was my fault. I came home late and left him there worrying-“

“So he hit you?” Bokuto interrupted. This day just kept pissing him off. He leaned on the counter, elbow resting against the now crinkled menu. He let out a long sigh before looking back up to Kuroo.

Kuroo presses his lips together in a line and leaned down as well until he got probably a little too close to Bokuto’s face. He let out a huff of air as well. It was just the two of them leaning against the counter, staring into each other’s eyes. It almost felt surreal for Bokuto. He felt like he was melting into a dream. It was quiet in the shop, the only background noise was the shop music, and Bokuto could feel kuroo’s breath against his upper lip.

As odd as it sounded, this silence wasn’t awkward, or tense, or anxious. It was comforting for both of them. The twos energies had always paired well together, Bokuto’s dominant will, collided with kuroo’s more submissive one, even in high school. Kuroo was comforting to be around for Bokuto and Bokuto made Kuroo feel safe. For some reason, when Bokuto thought of moments like this with kuroo, it reminded him of the yin and yang. They just fit so well together.

“How was practice?” Kuroo asked softly. Bokuto knew Kuroo was trying to change the topic, but Bokuto decided to let it slide once again. At least now he knew the truth. Daishou hits Kuroo. But it probably wasn’t something Bokuto should worry about. Bokuto didn’t need to get involved with kuroo’s personal life. 

Except kuroo’s personal life had to do directly with Bokuto life now.

“Your boyfriend’s a jerk,” Bokuto spoke, voice a little strained from the way he was holding his chin up with his arm.

Kuroo closed his eyes and smiled, letting out a low sigh, “he likes to feel better than everyone else.”

“Yeah I can tell,” Bokuto groaned. His elbow slipped a bit, sliding him even closer to Kuroo. Their noses almost touched, both of their eyes widened, but kuroo’s quickly slid back to their normal state.

Bokuto’s eyes darted around kuroo’s face selfishly. His eyelashes stood long and curved, brown eyes so warm, so familiar. They were the same eyes that Bokuto knew in high school: soft and doe eyed. 

Next Bokuto tilted his eyes up to look at Kuroo’s eyebrows. They were thin and dark. Kuroo must pluck them to get the shape he likes, Bokuto thought. Even so, they were messy right now, pointing in different directions, probably from rubbing his face all day at work. It made Bokuto wanna rub his thumb against the soft, wire like hair.

Oh wait.

He was already doing that. Bokuto’s thumb stroked the hairs down on Kuroo face subconsciously, stopping and cupping kuroo’s face and covering the bruised skin. 

Kuroo winced a bit, probably from the slight pressure on the bruise, but then stood almost expressionless. Bokuto couldn’t tell if he should pull away or not.

Honestly... Bokuto could kiss him right now. They were close enough, all he’d have to do is lean in a bit more. His heart started to pick up speed as he held kuroo’s face. What the hell was he doing!!

Kuroo’s mouth tilted into an unfamiliar smile. It wasn’t his usual smirk, or that weird crooked smile he had in high school. This one was almost apologetic. Like he was apologizing to Bokuto for a reason that Bokuto was unaware of. The raven haired boys hand slid up to clasp the back of Bokuto’s hand, before standing up straight.

“If you’re still the same Bokuto I remember from five years ago,” Kuroo started to speak, heading towards the display case that held a variety of treats, “then you’ll love this.” 

Bokuto stood up straight, walking over to the boy who was holding a strawberry cupcake. 

He couldn’t help but feel disappointed, because in truth, Bokuto was not the same man he was five years ago. If he was, he wouldn’t be standing in this shop, trying to get Kuroo to realize that maybe, just maybe he was suppose to be with Bokuto and not Daishou.

Bokuto walked into his home to be greeted by two of his closest friends, Kenma and akaashi.

“W-What? You two just let yourself in?” He asked, setting down the strawberry cupcake that Kuroo had given him. It wasn’t like Bokuto wasn’t happy to see the two, but personal space would be nice.

“You said We would hang out today. You’re the one who was late,” Akaashi said, arms folded as he stood in the kitchen.

Kenma sat at the large kitchen table, holding his knees up against the edge of the table, and holding his game console in his hands, “you should try hiding your spare key a little better. You are famous after all.”

Bokuto sighed, picking up the cupcake and licking at the icing. He sat at the kitchen table and grabbed a napkin, furrowing his brows in concern when he notice the complete shock in Kenma’s face.

“Are you okay?” Bokuto asked, licking some icing off his thumb. Akaashi looked to his boyfriend in concern again.

“Did you see Kuroo?” Kenma asked. He looked desperate. Like he was about to tear up or freak out or something. It kind of alarmed Bokuto. 

“Y-yeah. I stopped by the bakery he worked at after practice, how did you know?”

“We used to be best friends. I visited him all the time,” Kenma answered, he turned off his game and sat it next to him, folding his arms together. 

Akaashi walked over to sit at the kitchen table as well, putting an arm around his boyfriend. Bokuto wondered what could possibly be wrong. He had no idea that Kuroo and Kenma werent friends anymore. The two were so close back then, Bokuto just assumed it would be silly to ask if they still talked.

“Why’d you stop talking,” Bokuto questioned, taking a bite into the cupcake, which Kuroo was correct about. Bokuto loved it.

“His boyfriend hated me. Daishou suguru? You know him right? He’s on your team,” Kenma moved to grab another napkin from the middle of the table and passed it to Bokuto who was really making a mess with the frosting.

Bokuto looked to Kenma in disbelief, cupcake still filling one of his cheeks, “Kuroo chose Daishou over you?”

Kenma shook his head softly, “Daishou chose himself over me for Kuroo. Tetsurou didn’t have a choice.”

Bokuto frowned. That sounded a lot like Daishou. If he hadn’t already said it, he hated that guy, “Why didn’t Daishou like you?”

The blonde looked to Akaashi, raising a nervous eyebrow and playing with the corner of the table. Akaashi sighed and shrugged his shoulders, both seemed to be fumbling for words.

“Daishou,” Kenma started, Bokuto noticed the remorse in his voice, “he is very aggressive.”

Bokuto wiped his face before bluntly adding, “you mean abusive? Yeah no shit.”

You know?” Kenma asked surprised. His eyes were wide and once again Bokuto thought he looked really desperate for answers.

“Well I just assumed by what everyone else was saying,” Bokuto said leaning back in the chair. He wondered if he should tell Kenma about the new bruise he saw on kuroo’s face today. 

Before he could decide, Kenma spoke, “well I actually called Daishou out. I told him to stop and I guess he told Kuroo not to talk to me ever again. I knew that Kuroo wouldnt just stop being my friend though, so the very next day when we were hanging out, Daishou punch Kuroo in the face and basically told me if I didn’t leave it would only get worse. I haven’t seen Kuroo in three years.”

Bokuto sat with his mouth and eyes widened. He was waiting for the punch line. They had to be joking. There’s no way this has been going on for that long. Why would Kuroo let this happen.

“W-why is Kuroo staying with this guy?” Bokuto asked, growing aggravated. He hated that this was a reality and he hated how helpless he felt in the whole situation.

“Well,” Kenma started, looking at Bokuto with sad eyes, “Kuroo just wants what we all want. He wants to feel loved-“

“But this isn’t love!” Bokuto shouted, standing up from the table and slamming his hands on the table.

Kenma flinched at the sudden noise, and then smiled a bit, “you know he used to really like you at one point... I’m surprised that nothing ever came of that crush. I never expected him to choose Daishou over you.”

Bokuto heart ached at those words. Why the hell was Bokuto so dense. And why the hell does everyone see what is happening with Kuroo and choose to stay silent. It made no sense to him. He couldn’t continue staying silent. 

Akaashi looked over to his best friend, trying his best to call the man down as he spoke, “Koutarou, I know what you’re thinking right now, and I need you to stop.”

“Why the hell would I stop! I want to help Kuroo! I’m gonna stop this!” He quickly moved through the kitchen, looking for his keys to head over there now.

Akaashi and Kenma jumped to their feet, chasing after Bokuto. Kenma grabbed Bokuto’s arm and Akaashi took his keys away.

“Bokuto you can’t!” Kenma held grabbing tighter.

The muscular man ripped his arm free and turned to look at the two, “why wouldn’t I try to help? Are you guys crazy?”

“Because Kuroo loves him,” Akaashi said firmly, staring bullets into Bokuto’s eyes.

Oh, right. Bokuto looked down, annoyed. He bit his tongue as he thought it through. How do you stop someone from loving an abusive partner. Daishou has probably engraved so many horrible things into kuroo’s mind to the point where Kuroo would feel insignificant without the man.

“Believe me,” Kenma added, “we have already tried to tell Kuroo to leave, but he always goes back. Their relationship goes so much deeper than just physical abuse.”

Kenma let go of Bokuto’s arm when he felt him finally start to calm down. He had never seen Bokuto so angry about something ever. Not even volleyball. It was weird to see him like this, but Kenma couldn’t blame him. He had tried for years to get Kuroo to leave Daishou and stay at Kenma’s house or move away and start his own life, but Kuroo had always felt stuck. It wasn’t a matter of loving Daishou and not wanting to leave him, but more so a brainwashed idea that Kuroo was not good enough for anyone else, and that Kuroo should be grateful that Daishou loved him.

Akaashi opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it. He had to think a bit first. Anything he could say right now would set Bokuto off. He found it odd that Bokuto was really upset about something like this. As far as Akaashi knew, Bokuto and Kuroo had stopped being friends after high school, with no real explanation.

“Did... did something happen between you and Kuroo? Something I don’t know about?”

Bokuto let out a huff and rolled his eyes. He didn’t wanna tell this story again. It only added to the guilt he felt. He walked over to his fridge and opened it to grab a beer.

“Before Daishou,” he paused to open the beer, “he like me. But I rejected him, and told him that basically volleyball was more important. So now thanks to me he went to Daishou.”

“You can’t think like that,” Kenma shook his head.

“It’s not your fault that Daishou acts like that,” Akaashi added as he leaned against the countertop.

The three were quiet for a while. It felt like there was a very obvious elephant in the room, but everyone was either to nervous or uncertain if they should point it out or not. 

“Do you think you have feelings for him now?” Kenma questioned quietly. He worried that he spoke in a tone that even resembled anger, Bokuto would blow up.

Bokuto laughed sadly, “is it that obvious?”


	4. Chapter 4

IMPORTANT!!!! This chapter contains reference to sexual assault and other graphic violence!!!!!!

“Kuroo,” a voice echoed through the empty house. Daishou was home.

Kuroo felt his body tense a bit as he sat up from his place on the couch. His bruise was finally starting to fade away but it was still noticeable. He looked to his partner who walked through the door.

“Hi Daishou,” he fake a smile. Daishou nodded his head in response, walking towards the kitchen and grabbing a cup out of the cabinet.

“We’re going to a party this Friday,” he more so decided instead of asking Kuroo if he even wanted to go. 

Kuroo furrowed his brows, “why do I have to come?”

“Because I said so,” Daishou snapped. Kuroo sighed, the peacefulness of the conversation left quite quickly today. Kuroo wondered what made Daishou so angry so quickly. Maybe that’s just the type of person he was. Maybe it was kuroo’s fault. Either way, Kuroo was getting tired of keeping up this facade of his. 

Perhaps if he tried to speak up for himself today, Daishou would listen. It was worth a shot, Even though he had definitely tried before only to fail. Kuroo leaned his face on the arm rest of the couch. Why couldn’t he just be nice? It wasn’t always like this. Daishou used to really like talking to Kuroo, and Kuroo somewhat liked to listen. But recently he couldn’t stand it. He hated being here. 

Bokuto wouldnt treat him like this. Or at least that’s what he thought. Though Bokuto probably didn’t see someone as ugly and insecure as Kuroo to be his boyfriend. 

“You know,” Kuroo started slowly, trying to sense the mood. Daishou turned from the fridge to look at Kuroo. His face held nothing but cold dead eyes. It didn’t even feel like Daishou liked Kuroo. Did Kuroo even really like Daishou? He felt like he asked himself that everyday.

“I have my own mind too. Maybe I don’t wanna go to the party,” Kuroo said. He felt like he was making a valid point. If Kuroo didn’t want to go, he shouldn’t have to, even though he really didn’t mind going. He was just trying to get to the point that Daishou shouldn’t be controlling kuroo’s life.

Daishou closed the fridge, and turned to walk near the couch. Kuroo swallowed nervously. This could either go very well, or very bad. And Daishou looked angry.

Suddenly, kuroo’s neck was being yanked upward and being grabbed so hard it felt like his skin was ripping.

“You’ve been hanging around with that new guy Bokuto havent you?” Daishou growled, his own mind flicked back to practice a few weeks ago when that idiot made a dumb lecture about Kuroo and how he isn’t Daishous property or some shit.

Kuroo grabbed at Daishous hands trying to pry them away. This wasn’t the first time he’s done this, but it was always scary for Kuroo. The neck is a super vulnerable area. “No,” he choked, “I’m just saying you shouldn’t be controlling my life-“

“I’m not controlling it!” Daishous grip tightened, “I let you get a job, I let you go outside, I-“ Kuroo ripped his neck free, feeling the ache in the sensitive skin. Daishou was quick to grip kuroo’s hair instead, pulling him down to the ground.

“You picked my job!” Kuroo yelled as he fell to his knees, head cocked in an awkward position as the other man grabbed his hair, “and you only let me go out for groceries and to get you shit!”

“I let you stay here for free,” he yelled back.

“I don’t wanna stay here!” Kuroo felt his voice tremble as he yelled, “you won’t let me work full time so I can move the hell out! And it shouldn’t be a burden for me to stay! We’re dating!”

Then as if Daishou had done a full 180 degree flip, he suddenly fell to the ground, acting like kuroo’s words effected him in some way that Kuroo knew was utter bullshit.

“You wanna leave,” Daishou said, making his voice sound pained even though he was truly fine. He was still gripping kuroo’s hair. Still trying to hold all the power.

“Kuroo, you cant leave me, we’re in love, I love you,” Daishou cried. Kuroo pried the mans hands out of his own hair.

“Daishou, I need to go,” Kuroo spoke softly. He didn’t wanna fall for a guilt trip. He tried moving away but Daishou grabbed his waist tightly, pulling Kuroo towards him.

Kuroo tried to pull away, “Daishou,” he begged as the man kissed his neck. This was utterly useless. Of course Daishou would try to make Kuroo stay with sex.

After a while of trying to get away, Kuroo gave up. Falling to his back as Daishou ripped away his clothes and completely neglected kuroo’s face that hated every second of it.

Bokuto walked through the streets of Tokyo, bored out of his mind. He had absolutely nothing to do, and he really didn’t want to sit around his house by himself, so he decided to walk around the city. 

It had been a relatively good day, other than the boredom that plagued his mind, until he felt someone snatch his arm tightly, whipping him around to face them.

“Daishou,” Bokuto turned and immediately frowned. Funny how one person can totally ruin your mood. 

“Stay away from Kuroo,” Daishou snapped. His eyes looked slender and annoyed at the bigger man.

Bokuto took a second to look at the idiot closely. He was muscular, but still skinny. His face was just... ugly, not to mention is horrid hair. What the hell did Kuroo see in him? Where was Kuroo?

Bokuto glared at Daishou, “you don’t get to tell me what to do. He’s my frie-“

“Well not anymore. I pick who he gets to hang out with, and let me tell you it’s not you.”

Bokuto let out a ‘tch’ before ripping his arm away. Daishou smirked before turning into a near by restaurant. Bokuto shook his head. That made him feel uneasy. Had Kuroo and Daishou been fighting? What if Daishou tried to hurt Kuroo again?

Before Bokuto could really decide, his feet started moving in the direction of daishou’s luxury condo, not far from kuroo’s place of work. He ran through the lobby and up the elevator, ignoring the stares he got as he shoved past the workers and residents that we’re trying to get to it.

He stood breathlessly in the elevator, finally taking a second to catch his breath. It wasn’t until the elevator dinged in the 4th floor that Bokuto realized what he was doing. He walked out of the elevator and headed down the hall. This could be painfully embarrassing for bokuto, if Kuroo was fine.

But something in his gut told him Kuroo was in pain. Not really in a physical, beat up type of way, but in an emotional, or mental type of pain. 

Bokuto slowed his pace as he neared kuroo’s door. He had never been in his home, and now here he was, coming over uninvited. He weighed out the odds. Either way Kuroo would let him in, maybe they could just hang out. His stomach jump as he turned the corner to reach kuroo’s door.

It was open.

Not completely, but it was left cracked open, like maybe they just forgot to shut it. Bokuto peered through the crack of the door, noticing that the lights were all off, but the tv was left on. Had they been robbed? Bokuto grabbed the handle of the door quietly, and slowly walked in. This felt like a horrible idea, but something told Bokuto that Kuroo was here. He could feel it.

Bokuto walked around the entrance, peering into the kitchen, and when he found nothing he turned to go in the opposite direction, passing the staircase and turning into the living room. The lights were off and it was a bit difficult for Bokuto to make out much in the room, but the tv glare was enough for him to see Kuroo, leaned up against the wall, naked. He hadn’t noticed Bokuto’s presence at all, head down, and knees bent to cover up the private areas, which Bokuto was some what grateful for.

“K-Kuroo?” Bokuto asked nervously. He watched as the other man jumped and snapped his head up.

“Bokuto, why’re you here,” Kuroo asked. His voice sounded raw. Bokuto wondered if he had been crying. 

It was too dark for Bokuto to know what had happened, but as he got closer he could see dark splotches across kuroo’s skin, which was still lit only by the tv.

“What happened to you? Are you okay? Where’s the light, let me find the lights,” Bokuto spoke frantically, becoming really worried for his friend. This wasn’t like Kuroo, even now. Kuroo looked dead, or acted like it.

“Don’t!” Kuroo yelled. Bokuto froze and stood in the middle of the room, “dont turn them on. It’s bad.”

Bokuto walked closer, “what’s bad?”

“I look bad. I don’t want you to see,” Kuroo’s voice sounded like he was struggling to hold in tears. Bokuto was at a loss for what to do. He needed to see Kuroo. He selfishly wanted to see that Kuroo was fine, he needed a light.

Bokuto sighed, slumping down against the wall where Kuroo leaned. He chanced an act of reassurance by leaning his head on kuroo’s shoulder. Kuroo moved his arms quickly to hide his lower half.

“I’m not gonna look,” Bokuto whispered, grabbing kuroo’s upper arm softly. “Can you tell me what happened?”

Kuroo was quiet, no way in hell was he gonna tell Bokuto what happened. It was embarrassing. If he told Bokuto what was going on, it would basically be as if Kuroo was saying, ‘hey you were right, I should have just stuck with volleyball instead of falling in love.’

He wished that Bokuto would just realize that Kuroo needed him to just know. He needed Bokuto to know what was happening, so he could be there for him. But Kuroo knew that the only way Bokuto would know what was happening, was if Kuroo told him.

Kuroo just didn’t wanna hurt his pride like that. He didn’t want Bokuto to see how weak he was now. How beaten down and vulnerable he was. Kuroo didn’t want Bokuto to know what Daishou was doing to Kuroo, and he definitely did not want to describe it to him. 

Kuroo continued to look down. He didn’t want to make Bokuto upset, but he wanted Bokuto to know. There wasn’t anyone in the world that Kuroo wanted to let in on something like this, but for some reason, he didn’t mind if Bokuto knew. 

Maybe because he loved Bokuto. Somewhere deep in the back of Kuroo’s mind, he wanted Bokuto to save him. He wanted Bokuto to love him back. 

But who the hell could ever love someone like Kuroo. His mind flashed back to what happened just a little less than an hour ago. Painful words that slipped out of daishous mouth.

“The only person who will ever love you is me, and that’s because I feel bad for you”

Kuroo cringed as he heard daishous voice. He felt like he was going to cry. His chest ached and lips trembling. He must’ve started shaking too, because Bokuto took off his jacket and draped it over kuroo’s lower half, covering the parts that made Kuroo a bit too naked. 

Then Bokuto put his arm around Kuroo. Something someone hadn’t done in a while. It was a common display of affection, but Kuroo couldn’t remember the last time he had someone like this. 

But this was Bokuto. And Bokuto had always loved him. Of course Kuroo knew it was strictly platonic, but even so, it felt really good to have someone there who truly cared. 

After a moment of silence, Kuroo made up his mind. Bokuto looked to him as he felt the smaller man fidget. Kuroo reached up and turned on the lamp.

Bokuto’s mouth dropped as he looked at Kuroo. His legs held large hand shaped bruises, like someone was holding him too hard. Like they wanted to keep Kuroo held down, when he was probably trying to get away. Nail marks sat around the bruises and tiny dots of blood were dried around them. 

He then looked at kuroo’s arms that held similar bruises around his wrists from brute force. It made Bokutos blood boil. Grotesque hickeys were painfully spotted all over kuroo’s chest. They weren’t the type of hickeys a lover gives you, these had teeth marks and some were so deep that they also bled.

While those bruises made Bokuto very mad, nothing else would ever make him feel more sick to his stomach than what he saw next.

Kuroo’s neck was starting to bruise and Bokuto knew it was from another mans hands. He was at a lose for words. How could anyone ever do this? This wasn’t how love was suppose to be. You aren’t suppose to hurt you lover.

“I’m sorry,” Kuroo croaked, Bokuto looked at him confused.

“I didn’t want to do it,” he added.

Don’t apologize, Bokuto thought. This wasn’t your fault. How could any of this be kuroo’s fault.

“Kuroo you need to break up with him,” Bokuto spoke in a low almost disappointed voice.

Kuroo just shook his head. His stubbornness aggravating Bokuto more. Why couldn’t Kuroo see how unhealthy he was in this relationship? He looked at his friend, who was obviously in pain and stood.

Bokuto tried to remember where the kitchen was, and when he got there, he wet a rag. 

When he returned, he wiped the rag on the dried blood on kuroo’s body. Kuroo let him, and thought of what he could say. He didn’t really know what he could do or say to make this situation look better than it was.

“He... he wasn’t always like this,” Kuroo started. He wanted to tell Bokuto everything, but if he did, Kuroo might end up revealing a bit more than he wanted to. Bokuto was quiet, urging Kuroo to continue speaking as he continued to rub at kuroo’s sensitive skin.

Kuroo thought hard about how he would avoid bringing up his confession to Bokuto, but he sort of had to.

“After, uh, our third year of high school my mom died,” Kuroo felt Bokuto stop wiping for a second, probably from shock, and slowly continued. Still not speaking.

Bokuto didn’t want to ruin this moment, afraid that Kuroo would never open up again if he didn’t right now. He had no idea that kuroo’s mother had passed though. It was sad to hear, she was a really nice lady, a lot like Kuroo.

“Me and you, we weren’t friends anymore, and Kenma was busy with his own third year of high school so I didn’t really have anyone to help me cope. My dad started to drink a lot and he forgot all about me, since he was having trouble living without mom.”

That was sad to hear as well. Kuroo’s father was always a picture perfect dad when Bokuto saw him, and he couldn’t imagine kuroo’s father being any different.

“So when I met Daishou again, he slept with me and I think I was just clinging to the idea of being loved by someone that I stuck with him.”

Bokuto finished cleaning off Kuroo and sat the towel on the ground. He put his hand on kuroo’s bare knee and couldn’t help but think how different kuroo’s whole life would’ve been if Bokuto would’ve been there for him. But of course Bokuto was hyper focused on volleyball. He didn’t even think about what Kuroo might’ve been going through during the last five years.

“He’s just an aggressive person. He likes to be in control,” Kuroo shrugged his shoulders. 

Bokuto opened his mouth to speak but stopped when kuroo’s phone chimed. He flipped it over and Bokuto couldn’t help but read the text as well.

Daishou was on his way home. Kuroo looked at Bokuto, and Bokuto pressed his lips into a thin line.

Please take me with you

Kuroo wanted to say it but he couldn’t get it out of his throat. Bokuto stood up a bit uncomfortably. 

“you deserve better than this Kuroo,” Bokuto said before opening the door and leaving.

Kuroo gripped at Bokuto’s jacket. He wished Bokuto would realize that What Kuroo wanted was him.

For the next three days, Bokuto couldn’t sleep. Not when this was happening to Kuroo. He would constantly think about the way he saw Kuroo the other day. The bruises. It was like once one bruise started to fade, another one appeared. It hurt Bokuto’s stomach to think about. 

Daishou was such an ass. 

There was a game this Sunday, so the team had back to back practices everyday. Kuroo didn’t show up to any of them. Bokuto didn’t bother telling Oikawa about what happened, because he really didn’t want him to worry about it during practice and hurt himself.

Bokuto shot a glare to the other side of the court. The team was having a practice match but all Bokuto could do was stare at that shit bag Daishou. It was starting to mess with how he was playing.

“Bokuto, are you alright,” Iwaizumi asked before taking a swig of water.

Bokuto wiped the sweat from his face on his shirt, he didn’t wanna tell Iwaizumi anything either, it wasn’t his place to tell kuroo’s secrets. Still, Bokuto felt like a loser for being so helpless. He wondered if this feeling was how Kuroo felt everyday. 

The gym doors opened, ripping Bokuto out of his sulking, and revealing Kuroo and a few other girls who were coming to see their boyfriends. 

“Team mom,” a teammate yelled and waved to kuroo. Usually, Kuroo would laugh that off and give some snacks to the players, but today, Kuroo waved a sad, little wave, and he didn’t have any snacks.

“Ah,” Daishou walked up to Kuroo. Bokuto could tell Kuroo really did not want to be there, Daishou probably forced him to come. 

Kuroo shoved his hands in his pocket and gave Daishou a half assed smile. Bokuto watched as he stood uncomfortable, only actually smiling when he turned and saw Bokuto, Iwaizumi and oikawa.

Daishou was obviously annoyed with this as he shoved kuroo’s shoulder hard making him stumble back and said, “hah, you look terrible today.”

Bokuto couldn’t do this anymore.

“Daishou why’re you such an ass?” Bokuto spoke strong and stood firm in the center of the court. All eyes were on the two of them.

“Bokuto what are you-“ Oikawa started to say, but stopped when his boyfriend grabbed his arm softly and shook his head.

Iwaizumi fully supported Bokuto. He knew what an ass Daishou was to Kuroo and, quite frankly, everybody else on the team. Bokuto glanced around Kuroo who was trying to shake his head subtly, begging Bokuto not to blow up.

Daishou quirked a brow and turned towards Bokuto, walking closer to him, “what? You’ve got a proble-“

“Yeah I got a problem with the way you treat him,” Bokuto gestured to Kuroo, “and honestly you’re just an annoying person.”

The gym was dead quiet, and kuroo’s heart was racing. This should not be happening. Not here. Kuroo worried that Daishou might hurt Bokuto. He stood behind Daishou, but felt like he should maybe be standing next to Bokuto. He couldn’t help but blush right now, it was nice of Bokuto to say something, and a part of him was relieved.

Daishou was fuming. Nobody ever stood up against him and it made him even more mad that a new guy was doing it.

“You mother fucker-“ he darted forward but was snagged back by Kuroo who grabbed the back of his practice shirt.

This was a shock to everyone it seemed like. Oikawa’s mouth was shaped in an “o”. It was unlike Kuroo to even touch Daishou, since he was so nervous around him. It felt like everyone in the gym was thinking the same thing right now.

Bokuto still stood tall. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him.

“D-Daishou, please don’t hurt him,” Kuroo begged as he let go of the fabric quickly and tried to back away.

Daishou turned around quickly and caught Kuroo off guard. “Shut up!” Daishou yelled as he swung his hand around to smack Kuroo hard in the face.

“Daishou!” The coaches voice echoed through the gym to stop him but everything happened way to fast and before everyone knew it, Bokuto was knocking Daishou to the ground and they got into a full blown fist fight.

“Koutar-“ Kuroo tried to grab Bokuto away from Daishou but Iwaizumi was quick to pull Kuroo away and stand in front of both him and Oikawa. The coaches were all quick to tear the two apart.

Both were extremely angry and their aggravation was radiating throughout the whole gym. All the team mates were on their feet and some of the girls Kuroo walked in with were standing near Kuroo asking if his face was okay.

Bokuto let the assistant coach pull him away, “stop fucking hitting your boyfriend!”

Daishou tried yanking his arms from the coach as he shouted, “shut the hell up! You think you can steal him away? Did you come back for the trash you didn’t want in high school?”

Bokuto’s eyes widened. He didn’t know that Daishou knew about Kuroo and his relationship. If nobody else on the team knew then, they sure do now. He also just outed the fact that Bokuto is interested in Kuroo.

“Yeah, well guess what! He’s a trashy little whore who hangs around other men so-“

“Daishou, shut up,” Iwaizumi glared daggers.

Bokuto took a second to look at Kuroo. He was definitely about to cry. It was so obvious. It was like Daishou was feeding off of kuroo’s feelings. Like he wanted to hurt him.

“And you, just wait till we get home,” Daishou glared at Kuroo, who looked terrified. 

This seemed to be counter productive.

The two coaches were furious as they took the two into separate rooms, talking to each of them separately.

Bokuto sat in a room, grabbing his hair tightly. He fucked up. Not just with the team, but with Kuroo. Something bad was gonna happen when he got home and it was all his fault. 

After about ten minutes the coaches entered the room.

“I’m so sorry I don’t know why I did that,” Bokuto apologized, stressing over what the coaches were gonna say. He could totally be kicked off the team right now.

The coach sighed, “I know it’s difficult to get along with Daishou, but he’s a team mate, and in order for the team to be successful you need to get along.”

Bokuto nodded his head.

“The two of you will be on probation for this week. If we see either of you acting out, you will have to leave the team,” the coach said. He sounded so disappointed and it made Bokuto disappointed in himself as well.

The assistant coach chimed in, much more cheery, “for the record, we think you did a good thing.”

Bokuto raised his brows, “Wha?”

The coach sighed, “that boyfriend of his, he should really leave him... we just have to be fair to every team member. Even the ones who deserve a good beating.”

Bokuto scoffed a bit. That boosted his confidence. At least he knew people agreed with him.

When he walked out of the room, there was already more drama.

Oikawa crosses his arms and stood in front of Kuroo who was obviously trying to get away.

“Kuroo is sleeping over at my house,” Oikawa demanded.

“Sorry Oikawa, you’re not taking him tonight,” Daishou frowned reaching to grab kuroo’s arm.

“Funny you think you can tell me what to do,” Oikawa put his arm in front of Kuroo. Bokuto smiled at Iwaizumi who just shook his head. Oikawa was such a sassy person, he clashed so easily with Daishou. 

“Like I said, me and Kuroo have planned this sleep over for weeks and you’re not getting in the way of it. I’m teaching him how to get rid of his bedhead and then we’re watching movies! We will meet you at the party tomorrow,” Oikawa finished strongly grabbing kuroo’s hand himself.

He smiled and looked at kuroo, who smiled weakly. Kuroo’s heart was beating out of his chest. He felt like he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. If he didn’t go home with Daishou now, it would be worse later. Kuroo could tell the only reason Daishou was being nice was because he didn’t want everyone else to think he was a bad guy.

Daishou chuckled, his sick twisted laugh, “oh Oikawa, if only Kuroo was as pretty as you. Maybe I’d put up more of a fight.”

Oikawa smiled turned into a frown. He felt kuroo’s hand weaken its hold on Oikawa, so Oikawa squeezes it tighter in reassurance. He had always had a soft spot for Kuroo, for some weird reason. He never understood how Kuroo could stay with such a mean person, when he himself didn’t have it in him to be rude.

“See you tomorrow Daishou,” Oikawa said before leaving with Kuroo. 

Bokuto met up with Iwaizumi and left as well.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi!!!!! So last chapter was kinda super sad (for me at least idk about y’all) so I really wanted to give this chapter some fuzzy, fluffy, aww, moments! A little light hearted!

“Oikawa, Oikawa, Tooru!” Kuroo yelled. Oikawa has dragged him all the way through his house, never once letting go of his hand.

The brunette turned around quickly, eyes looking as fiery as ever, “what Tetsurou,” he snapped. He quickly realized how rude he sounded and cringed when Kuroo furrowed his brows.

“I’m sorry, I just, I can’t stand the way he talks to you,” Oikawa apologized, releasing his hold on Kuroo. 

Kuroo bit the inside of him lip, thinking about what he should say. What could he say? There was no way he could stand up for suguru. He didn’t want to. But he didn’t want Oikawa to be upset either, it would just mess with Oikawa perfect life. 

“Look, use the guest bathroom to shower, and we can hang out when you’re done,” Oikawa smiled.

“I can go home Oikawa, I don’t want to bother you and Iwaizumi,” Kuroo shook his head and backed up.

“Kuroo,” Oikawa gave him a look that read ‘don’t argue with me I want you here’ 

And Kuroo looked back at him with a raise of his brows and a sigh. He turned back to the guest room, deciding that he really didn’t want to argue with Oikawa, or go home to his abusive boyfriend.

He shed himself of his clothes and looked in the mirror. Kuroo scoffed to himself for being surprised at how he looked. Sometimes he forgot that he was a lot different looking now than he was in high school. 

Aside from the bruises that were always decorating his body, he was a lot thinner, and less bulky. It was sort of depressing. He used to be in really good shape in high school, a six pack and muscular legs. He was more meaty and tan as well. He’d lost most of his weight after high school when his mom died and his dad went off the deep end. Food was just so negative now, without his mom, who usually cooked for him.

Now the muscle that sat at his sides were gone and his body dipped inward, as if he had curves, which he didn’t exactly hate, but it would be nicer to have the muscle. 

He stepped in the shower and let the hot water comfort him as he ran his fingers through his unruly hair. His hair sort of his safe spot, something nobody could mess with. It was something that couldn’t be changed about him. No matter what anyone tried, kuroo’s hair stayed the same, crazy shape.

He finished cleaning off his body and washing his hair, before pulling on a shirt that he had left at Oikawa’s months ago, and a pair of shorts as well.

After a while, Oikawa ran into kuroo’s room, startling the other. Kuroo smiled at Oikawa confused as he threw a bunch of products on the bed.

“Time to fix the bedhead,” Oikawa smiled as he jumped on Kuroo.

Kuroo laughed as he tried to push the other man away, but Oikawa wrapped his arms around kuroo’s neck and reached swiftly for a type of hair oil that Kuroo knew was more expensive than the shirt he was wearing.

“Oikawa! The bed head in untamable, you try this every time,” Kuroo smiled as he grabbed the other mans hand and tried to yank it away, but ultimately failed and ended up with Oikawa running an oil that smelt like Oikawa, through kuroo’s damp hair. Now Kuroo knew why Oikawa smelt like flowers.

A comfortable silence developed between the two as Kuroo let Oikawa run his fingers through his hair. Kuroo didn’t mind doing stuff like this with Oikawa. It felt nice to have a friend like him. Even though he was arrogant and way too assertive, Oikawa has always been someone Kuroo felt safe around. Kuroo felt like he as comfortable around him. Their friendship developed when Oikawa joined the team with iwaizumi, about 2 years ago. At first Kuroo couldn’t stand him, mostly because he was jealous of everything Oikawa had.

Oikawa had been dating Iwaizumi who was such a good boyfriend, even if it didn’t look like it at first glance. He was the type of boyfriend that would take his jacket off and give it to Oikawa, or the type to protect Oikawa but still understand that Oikawa was strong enough not to need protection. Kuroo always hated it. He was so jealous of what them two had, because Kuroo never got it. Kuroo was with Daishou, who barely ever took him on dates or even talked about him to other people. 

Even so, no matter how hard Kuroo tried to resent Oikawa, he somehow weaseled his way into kuroo’s heart. He would let Kuroo borrow clothes, take him shopping, and even visited him at work. Kuroo was never sure why Oikawa was so kind to him, until about a year into their friendship.

Kuroo had started to slowly register that Oikawa didn’t have any friends. He was always taken for an arrogant asshole who wanted to make you feel like you were less than him, when in reality, Oikawa was a kind person, just one with an attitude. It was easy for Kuroo to notice that as much as Oikawa tried to act like he had this perfect life, it wasn’t perfect. After Kuroo noticed this, he started to realize that Oikawa wasn’t being kuroo’s friend out of pity. Their friendship was truly genuine.

Kuroo drifted out of his thoughts and looked to up at the mirror that sat on the dresser across from them. He stared at Oikawa as he picked up another bottle that looked like a bunch of whip cream when he squeezed it on to his hair. 

Oikawa continued to run his fingers through kuroo’s hair, slowly bringing his eyes up to the mirror as well, meeting kuroo’s.

“Staring?” Oikawa questioned as he continued to massage kuroo’s scalp.

Kuroo hummed in response. Oikawa’s hair was wet, and he looked really pretty. 

He felt Oikawas sticky fingers trace around his neck, which was tender from the touch.

“He did this to you, didn’t he?” The boy asked, softly poking the bruised skin. Kuroo slowly nodded his head.

Oikawa sighed. It was so frustrating to see this type of thing happening, and not having any idea how to help. 

“Why do you let him do this to you, Tetsurou. You know you could find somebody so much better.”

“Nobody else would love me,” Kuroo shook his head, “I’m not like you, I’m difficult and... and big and, I mean look at me,” Kuroo motioned toward the mirror to further prove his point. 

Oikawa shook his head, clear annoyance on his face, “is that what Daishou tells you?”

The two were both quiet again. Oikawa knew he hit a nerve with that, so he decided not to say anything else on that subject. He was fully aware that Daishou fed a lot of mentally abusive things into kuroo’s mind.

He played with the soft tufts of black hair, pulling it up into two upside down triangular shapes. Like two mountains.

“Look you’re Bokuto,” Oikawa laughed. Kuroo smiled hard at that, which in return lifted Oikawa’s spirits.

“Bo is the only one who could ever pull off this hair style,” Kuroo chuckled, thinking of his friend.

“I mean does he really even pull it off? It kinda looks funny,” Oikawa joked.

Kuroo shrugged his shoulders, “I think he’s cute.”

Oikawa raised his brows, “oh?” He questioned.

“N-no not like that. I mean, well maybe... no uh I have a boyfriend. I just meant-“

“Relax,” Oikawa laughed as he slicked kuroo’s hair back, “pretty cool of him to stand up for you like that today.”

The raven haired man fiddled with the end of his shorts, nodding his head in agreement. 

“Is there, maybe something there? Maybe some unsaid feelings?” Oikawa pried. He already knew the answer, but he thought maybe if he pushed it hard enough, Kuroo might come to the realization as well.

“I,” Kuroo started them wondered if it was safe to really say this. He decided it was, he could trust Oikawa. 

“I’m always going to be in love with Bokuto.”

“Kuroo,” Oikawa stopped what he was doing. He didn’t know he would be so quick to admit it. He wondered if he knew Bokuto’s feelings.

“But I could never ever tell him. I don’t want to lose him again like I did in high school. Plus I’m with Daishou.” Kuroo said. His voice was pained. It hurt to know that someone so good like Bokuto was standing right in front of Kuroo, but he couldn’t do anything about it, because he was trapped with Daishou.

Oikawa presses his lips together in a line line. He didn’t want to tell Kuroo that Bokuto liked him, because it wasn’t his place to say. Instead he hugged kuroo’s head tightly, and went to wash his hands to get the hair product off. 

When he came back, he crawled up to the head of the bed.

“Wait what are you doing?” Kuroo questioned.

“Aren’t we having a sleep over,” Oikawa smiled as he tucked himself into the covers. 

It made sense, Kuroo decided, as he crawled up next to Oikawa and laid in bed next to him. For some reason, probably because of Daishou, Kuroo felt like this was very very wrong and that he should not be laying in a bed with Oikawa, even though they were just friends.

“Don’t you think Iwaizumi will get mad?” Kuroo questioned, getting comfortable and placing his phone on the charger.

Oikawa deadpanned as he tapped through his snapchat, “no I’m not with a control freak.”

Kuroo said nothing, mainly because Oikawa was right. Even if he was a sassy little shit. Iwaizumi was actually staying at Bokuto’s house tonight and Kuroo couldn’t help but think how much easier it would’ve been for everyone if Kuroo would have just been dating Bokuto to begin with.

Oikawa looked at him with a devilish grin, “besides, what the hell could we possibly do in bed together,” he chuckled, turning to put his own phone on the night stand. 

Kuroo laughed as well, getting comfortable on his pillow. Oikawa turned off the lamp and got closer to Kuroo until they were face to face.

“Who do you think would even be able to top,” Oikawa giggled.

Kuroo laughed as well, “I don’t wanna think about that.”

“Yeah? That’s ‘cause you want to think about a certain loud mouth, horned owl haired man to be on top of you,” Oikawa snickered as Kuroo shoved his hand into the others face.

Kuroo turned around to face the other way quickly, ignoring Oikawa who was making fun of him and laughing. He was glad it was dark, and Oikawa couldn’t see his blush that was probably redder than a tomato.

The next morning Bokuto and Iwaizumi had woken up and driven back over to meet up with Oikawa and Kuroo before the party.

They had gotten there around 2 pm after grabbing some breakfast tacos, per Bokuto’s request. 

Bokuto stretches his arm over his head as he walked into Oikawa and iwaizumi’s house. There house was really nice. It had lots of nice decorations to it that Bokuto could never do. He wasn’t really good with decorating his own home. He’d been living in it now for a little over 4 months, but if you walked in, you might think he had just started moving in. 

“You’ve got a really nice place Iwaizumi,” Bokuto complimented as he brought his arms down.

Iwaizumi walked out of the hallway that led to his and Oikawa’s room, “thanks,” he said handing Bokuto one of two bags of the breakfast tacos, “Oikawa is really into expensive furniture and art work, so he just picks everything out.”

Bokuto let out a huff as he followed Iwaizumi to the guest room, which was probably where Kuroo and Oikawa were. He was lowkey jealous that Iwaizumi got to say something like that so casually. Bokuto wished he had someone to love the way Iwaizumi loved Oikawa.

When Iwaizumi opened the door, he frowned, “you two are still sleeping!”

Oikawa jumped awake from the sudden noise, but Kuroo seemed to be uneffected. Bokuto laughed, Kuroo was always a heavy sleeper.

“Iwa~, you scared me,” Oikawa whined as he sat up in bed. Iwaizumi walked over to Oikawas side of the bed and sat at his feet. Bokuto sat at kuroo’s who was still fast asleep. 

He looked to Oikawa who was smiling at Kuroo, “i bet he doesn’t get much sleep at home.”

Bokuto smiled too and grabbed at what he though was either kuroo’s ass or thigh and shook him gently, “kuroo~”

Kuroo Moved a bit at that, rolling onto his stomach and making a grunt. Oikawa grabbed a breakfast burrito and started to unwrap it, “Kuroo, are you hungry? We’ve got you’re favorite.”

The raven haired man lifted his head a bit at that, opened his eyes to see that it was in fact NOT his favorite food, and decided that he was too tired to keep his head up like this. It was nice here, he felt safe and at peace.

“You’re hair! It’s back to bedhead? Already?” Oikawa yelled.

“I told you,” Kuroo said groggily, bending his legs upward a bit.

Oikawa turned to Bokuto, “I put so much money on that mans head, just for it to still look like that in the morning.”

Bokuto chuckled before taking another bite out of his second burrito, “I love the bed head, why would you wanna change it?”

Kuroo couldn’t help but smile. Leave it to Bokuto to get his heart racing this early in the morning. He was probably the second person in the world that ever liked his bed head, the first being his mother. 

Oikawa shook his head, “you guys are really two of a kind,” he mentioned. Bokuto looked at him confused and then back to Kuroo whose eyes were still shut.

He brushed off that comment, not really knowing what to say and deciding instead to pull the blanket off of kuroo’s body. 

Which he somewhat regretted.

Because god damn was it oddly erotic. 

Kuroo let out a tired moan in protest and it only aided in the effect it had on Bokuto. He couldn’t help but stare at kuroo’s sleeping form. It was different from what he remembered it being. It was seductive, and it probably shouldn’t have been. But for some reason, Bokuto knew he was about to be very very turned on.

Kuroo’s body was laying on its side now, legs bent up a bit, and showing a bit more skin than Bokuto had seen in quite a while. He’d seen Kuroo in volleyball shorts, seen him in the pool, and even seen him changing in the locker rooms, but for some reason it was different this time. Bokuto felt different.

He had on champion sweatshorts that had risen up a bit, just barely showing his ass. He had on a plain white tshirt that was also lifted up, showing the skin on his side. The way kuroo’s legs bent, made his ass perk up in a way that basically scream for Bokuto to touch it. 

Kuroo stretched out his legs, snapping Bokuto out of his trance. He rolled over to lay on his back and positioned his legs in Bokuto’s lap. He knew this was indeed wrong. He shouldn’t be doing this. He had a boyfriend. Daishou would be furious if Kuroo was laying in bed with Bokuto, even if it was completely platonic.

Except it wasn’t. For either of them. But neither would admit that to each other.

Kuroo blinked the sleep out of his eyes. Bokuto grabbed a burrito and handed it to the sleepy man, who put a hand up in denial.

“Tacos are your favorite Bokuto, not mine,” he smiled. Bokuto brought the burrito down to his lap and placed a hand on kuroo’s ankle. It felt comforting, even though it was just his ankle. It reminded Kuroo of high school, when Bokuto would put his feel on kuroo’s lap after training all night.

He couldn’t help but feel a little sad right now. For a minute, it felt like this was a reality, like it was just Kuroo and Bokuto, with Oikawa and Iwaizumi. But it’s not. It never could be. Bokuto wouldnt date Kuroo, and Daishou would probably hurt Kuroo really bad if he found out Kuroo had been thinking like this. 

The rest of the day was spent kinda doing nothing, but a comfortable type of nothing. Bokuto had sat in kuroo’s room trying to help him pick out something to wear from the things Oikawa was letting him borrow.

It wasn’t going well. Bokuto had been laughing so hard that tears has trickled down his face multiple times.

Kuroo couldn’t stop laughing either. With each outfit he put on, there was just always something off about it. Kuroo pulled on the next outfit and walked out of the bathroom to show Bokuto.

Immediately Bokuto couldn’t help but laugh, “no, absolutely not,” he cackled as he looked Kuroo up and down.

He was in some purple tshirt with a green alien on it. It would probably be cool for a concert or a music festival or something, but it wasn’t the vibe for a house party. Especially and famous persons house party.

Kuroo groaned, “I can’t go home, so I gotta find something,” he said as he tried to tug Oikawa’s jeans up over his ass, and ultimately failing.

“Dude not to sound like an ass, but there’s no way you’re fitting into Oikawa’s jeans,” Bokuto smiled. He didn’t mean it in a rude way, in fact he meant it in a total different way. If anything Bokuto was complimenting kuroo’s ass.

“Ugh I know! Oikawa has the flattest ass!” Kuroo yelled in frustration as he tried to tug the jeans up.

He did one of those little dances as he tried to shimmy into the white jeans, causing Bokuto to laugh even harder. Kuroo smiled and fell back onto the bed, completely giving up. Bokuto rolled to look at the boy who had even started to break a sweat from trying to pull them up.

“Help,” Kuroo pouted pointing out his legs in defeat. 

Bokuto let out a breath of air as he stood up. He turned to face Kuroo who was sprawled out across the bed. He propped himself up on his elbows and shifted his legs up for Bokuto to pull at the ends of the jeans. The two laughed as Bokuto yanked at kuroo’s legs, making Kuroo nudge closer and closer to the end of the bed until he was about to fall off. 

In one last pull, Bokuto successfully tugged the terrible white pants off of kuroo’s legs and in the process, kuroo’s ass slid of the bed. He almost didn’t notice the fact that he was about to hit the ground from laughing so hard, but at the last moment he frantically grabbed at the sheets waiting for his body to slump onto the floor.

But he didn’t. He opened his eyes that had slid closed at some point and saw that Bokuto had caught him just before he hit the ground. One of Bokuto’s muscular arms was linked under kuroo’s leg, where his knee bent and the other arm had braced itself on the bed, so that Bokuto was leaning over kuroo.

Putting them in a terribly sexual situation.

Kuroo’s eyes widened in surprise and Bokuto had gotten really quiet. They stood still. It felt like time stopped moving. Kuroo became painfully away of the fact that he didn’t have any pants on now. Only his underwear. Bokuto could literally fuck him in this position, Kuroo thought. No, he couldn’t do that. He wasn’t a cheater. And Bokuto wasn’t even interested in him like that. 

Kuroo pushed himself up on the bed so that he was out of Bokuto’s hold, and then he moved off of the bed quickly.

“Okay next outfit. I think I might wear shirt number one with the jeans I wore yesterday,” Kuroo spoke frantically as he practically ran to the bathroom to change again. He looked at himself in the mirror, and noticed how hard he’d been blushing. He wondered if Bokuto had noticed. 

“You’re legs have gotten skinnier since high school,” Bokuto’s voice sounded muffled as he spoke in the other room.

Kuroo pulled on a light blue champion shirt, “yeah, I lost all my muscle,” he answered. After that he pulled on his black jeans and the white pair of Air Force ones he wore yesterday, “didn’t know you looked at my legs that much back then,” Kuroo joked as he opened the door again.

Bokuto shrugged his shoulders, “I didn’t know I looked until recently.”

Bokuto felt his heart beat in his ears and his blood felt cold in his own body. He didn’t even mean to say that. It just sort of slipped. Now he just had to wait for Kuroo to ask what he meant by that. Then Bokuto could truly confess if he wanted to.

“Bo-“

“Hey! Are you guys ready to party?” Oikawa opened the door and yelled. 

The two stood, looking at each other for a minute before Kuroo broke his state and nodded his head. Iwaizumi and Oikawa gave Bokuto a confused looked before he too stood up to leave.

Kuroo thought about that moment for most of the car ride, only half listen to Oikawa and Bokuto’s conversation about how loud Bokuto could get and how it’s been giving Oikawa head aches at practice. 

What did he mean, until recently? Did that mean Bokuto maybe thought about Kuroo differently?

Kuroo shook his head and looked out the window of the car. There was no way Bokuto could ever love anyone like Kuroo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhh u guys!! The next chapter is hella hard to decide on! I have two ways I want it to go and I’m just not sure which way I should do it!


	6. Chapter 6

The party was held at the top floor of an extremely expensive penthouse. Kuroo almost felt sorry for the owner of the house he walked into the house that was already trashed with red solo cups, streamers, cigarettes and a lot of random things like t shirt or sun glasses lying around.

They walked through the entrance and everyone stopped when they noticed Daishou walking past them. Kuroo was nervous for what his boyfriend would say. It was kind of early to start an argument.

But to everyone’s shock, Daishou pushed past Kuroo, their shoulders brushing apart harshly as he completely ignored his own boyfriend.

Oikawa made a face at the man before speaking, “hes such an ass.”

Iwaizumi made a very vocal ‘tch’ before shaking his head. Bokuto couldn’t really say he was surprised with daishous actions though. He was an ass, so it made sense. He did feel bad for Kuroo though.

Oikawa grabbed kuroo’s shoulder and gave it and reassuring squeeze before pointing into the direction of a few girls and guys. Kuroo nodded his head and watched as Oikawa and Iwaizumi left to go talk to their other friends.

That left Bokuto and Kuroo, alone together. Kuroo walked forward to stand next to Bokuto as he walked up to the kitchen bar that held an assortment of liquor and mixers.

“Come to think of it,” Bokuto started as he grabbed a solo cup and filled it with a bit of vodka, “I don’t think I’ve ever had a drink with you Kuroo.”

The other man stood close to Bokuto, afraid they would get separated my the crowd of people if he didn’t. He could barely hear Bokuto over the music that blared through the speakers around the house. 

Kuroo grabbed a white claw and cracked it open, “yeah well I’m kind of a light weight, so I usually don’t drink. Daishou also doesn’t like when I’m drunk. Says I’m out of control,” he finished with a shrug of his shoulders.

Bokuto sighed internally. Daishou held so much power over Kuroo, it started to hurt him to even listen.

“Well, daishous obviously ignoring you tonight, so you should drink however much you want man,” Bokuto patted kuroo’s back as they walked over to a group of people who were talking loudly, probably arguing, over who would be winning the volleyball match this week.

A familiar voice tugged at kuroo’s Eads ans when he looked up, he noticed that it was none other than Tsukishima Kei. Kuroo felt excited to see him, but for some reason his lips wouldn’t move to speak. Like his mind was saying no. 

Because if Tsukishima saw him, he’d ask how Kuroo was doing, and Kuroo really didn’t wanna talk about how he’d been. He felt like a huge disappointment. 

Instead Bokuto took the words that were caught at kuroo’s throat, “Tsukki! Hey man how’ve you been?” 

Bokuto smiled brightly as he pulled the man into a friendly hug. Kuroo felt jealous of Bokuto in that moment. He’d beaten Kuroo to his own words, and didn’t even notice. Kuroo hated that he was like this now. 

“Good to see you Bokuto, I’ve been well. Playing for university. How’s pro?”

He completely looked over Kuroo. Had he not seen him? Or has he hated him? Kuroo didn’t think they were on bad terms, but he also hadn’t talked to him since high school. Maybe that upset him.

Either way, Bokuto and Tsukishima blabbed on about playing volleyball and Kuroo kind of just stood there next to them, becoming just like the others around them. An outsider. 

After a while, he caught Tsukishima staring at him, looking at his face and hair. Kuroo didn’t really know what to say, his nerves felt like needles in his stomach as he finished the reminder of his drink.

“Tetsurou Kuroo? From nekoma? Is that you?” The blonde asked after a minute of staring. He looked genuinely confused, like Kuroo was a total different person.

“Y-yeah it’s me. Good to see you,” he nodded. He hated how ashamed his voice sounded. Kuroo hoped that the other couldn’t hear it.

“I didn’t even notice! Where the hell did your smart ass mouth go?” The man taunted.

Kuroo laughed, Tsukishima was still the same kid from high school. He was always the type of guy that wanted to rile everyone else up, and in high school, Kuroo might’ve made a snarky remark back, but for some reason Kuroo just didn’t have it in him. His chest just hurt, and it was almost too painful to see tsuki in front of him. He was like a reminder of how good things were that training camp, and how much Kuroo regretted saying anything to Bokuto. 

Kuroo decided to play it off with a fake laugh and smile, “I guess I just grew out of it.”

He felt the mans eyes looking at him again now.

Please don’t

The blonde raised his brows as he looked at kuroo’s slim arms and torso.

Don’t notice how skinny I’ve gotten

The man then flicked his eyes back up to kuroo’s upper chest area and neck. Examining closely.

Don’t look at the bruises on my neck and face

Kuroo knew tsuki was about to start speaking and his stomach felt like a washing machine on spin mode. 

Don’t ask about my family 

“Kuroo,” the man started, “are you oka-“

Please don’t 

“The bed head hasn’t changed one bit though has it,” Bokuto interrupted in a loud teasing voice.

Everyone laughed at that and Kuroo nudged at Bokuto’s side, acting like he was offended. But in truth he was so grateful Bokuto had saved him from that.

After a minute of listening to a new conversation start in the group, Kuroo decided to grab another drink.

“I’m gonna go take a leak real quick,” Bokuto jokes as he also left the group.

He waited until he got to the bathroom to really think about what just happened. How he had to step in to stop Tsukishima from asking anything. Why did he do that? If Bokuto had to hide kuroo’s own relationship from other people what did that make Bokuto. He felt like he was supporting a horrible complex. Like he was supporting daishous choices. 

He finished up washing his hands and opened the door to the bathroom. As he walked out he couldn’t help but pick up one of the conversations that passed him from a group of girls.

“Did you see Daishou kiss that one girl?”

“Suguru? Isn’t he dating that boy with the crazy hair?”

“Yes, he looked extremely hurt, but didn’t say anything.”

“Oh I would’ve beat his ass for cheating!”

Bokuto’s eyes widened in disbelief. There was no way that actually happened. He’d only been gone for a couple minutes. He dashed to the kitchen looking for Kuroo and when he caught no sight of him he made way to the living room, poking his head in and noticing Daishou, who had an arm around another girl with short brown hair.

Bokuto turned swiftly to run up the stairs and until the game room where Oikawa and Iwaizumi sat.

“Have you two seen Kuroo?” He asked as he moved a couple cans of beer out of the way so he could sit.

Oikawa frowned, “I thought he stayed with you.”

Iwaizumi held his boyfriends waist as he leaned up from the couch, he was completely sober, being the designated driver, “why? Did something happen?”

Bokuto whispered a quiet ‘shit’ before speaking. He felt like he was the one at fault. He should’ve stayed with Kuroo. What if he left and was walking in the streets, drunk. He brought his nail up to his mouth and looked around the room to see if maybe he had just over looked Kuroo. 

“Hey Bokuto,” Oikawa sat up, swaying a little bit, “what’s happening?”

“So I went to the bathroom for a second, not even more than two minutes and when I came out I heard some girls saying Daishou was making out with another girl and Kuroo saw. Now I can’t find Him and I know he’s hurting.”

Bokuto watched as Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s eyes widened in realization of just how bad this situation was.

“Oh. Oh my god okay, We’ll help you find him. Keep your phone on you,” Iwaizumi stood and grabbed hold of Oikawa’s as well.

Bokuto nodded his head, feeling a bit better knowing that Iwaizumi wasn’t as drunk as Oikawa was right now. Iwaizumi and Oikawa casually looked around the rest of the rooms upstairs and Bokuto thought for a minute. Where could he have gone?

He walked through the halls of the penthouse and looked for any open doors. He could hear distant moaning coming from closed doors and he silently hoped that Kuroo wasn’t in one of these. Finally, at the end of the hall, Bokuto found a door leading up to the room of the entire building. He climbed the steps up to the roof and felt all of his anxiety explode out of his body when he saw the familiar bedhead.

“Kuroo?” Bokuto questioned as he walked closer to the man. There was no doubt that it was Kuroo, but he more so was trying to get his friends attention.

As he walked closer, he noticed just how close Kuroo was to the edge of the building. He sat there with his legs hanging off and wobbling a bit forward. 

“Hey, Kuroo scoot back a bit your too close to the edge,” Bokuto practically begged as he got closer.

Kuroo turned around, holding a bottle of what looked to be a beer. He was swaying as he turned, and each time he swayed close to the unprotected ledge, Bokuto’s heart fell out of his ass.

Kuroo laughed a bit, and from the unfamiliar sound, Bokuto could tell he was already drunk. He must have drank more than just that bottle in his hands.

“Sometimes I feel like jumping,” Kuroo smiled as he turned.

Bokuto widened his eyes, “Kuroo please don’t do this-“

“I’m not going to. I figure living is just easier,” the raven spoke.

It was quiet between the two and Bokuto decided to take this moment to pull Kuroo away from the edge of the building. Once they were a good foot or two away from it, Bokuto sat as well. After a few seconds, he felt Kuroo lean his head on Bokuto’s shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around one of Bokuto’s muscular arms.

Kuroo let out a huff as he rolled the empty bottle to his feet.

“How much did you drink?” Bokuto questioned, staring straight forward at the city lights. Kuroo’s hair tickles his neck whenever the wind blew past.

Kuroo shook his head, “nnn, a few.”

Bokuto chuckled at bit. He waited for Kuroo to talk first, if he even wanted to. If not, the silence would be comforting enough in Bokuto’s opinion.

“Daishou kissed someone else,” Kuroo mumbled into the crook of Bokuto’s neck after a while.

“I know,” Bokuto said softly, “do you wanna cry? I’m here if you need to.”

“Nuh-Uh I wont cry,” Kuroo shook his head, still clinging onto Bokuto’s arm. 

Bokuto nodded his head, supporting kuroo’s weight which felt a bit heavy due to how drunk and unstable he probably was. Now that he thought about it, Bokuto realized he really hadn’t ever seen Kuroo cry. Not even in high school. He wouldn’t have really known what to do if Kuroo had been crying.

“Y’know,” Kuroo started but stopped as he thought of what he was about to say. His head was sort of a little spinny right now, but he could still put together a sentence.

“Y’know when I saw it, I wanted to be upset, but all I could think of was how right it looked,” he sat up as he spoke and leaned back on his arms.

“How right it looks,” Bokuto questioned, furrowing his brows and looking at Kuroo.

“Well why would he ever kiss me? I’m not even half as pretty as that girl.”

Bokuto shook his head, “that’s not true Kuroo. You’re... you’re,” Bokuto cringed as he stuttered. He didn’t want to, but he couldnt say what he wanted. He couldnt say how beautiful Kuroo was to him and how much he loved everything about Kuroo with out accidentally confessing. He opened his mouth to try and say something but Kuroo was quick to talk back again.

“See? Nobody sees me as an attractive person so why should Daishou?”

Kuroo’s heart broke even more if possible as he heard the stutter in Bokuto voice. He didn’t want to say that Bokuto was something to fall back on now that Daishou was a cheated, but he thought that maybe Bokuto would see how Kuroo felt right now, and maybe confess or something.

But nobody loved Kuroo. Daishou was right. And Kuroo was an idiot for thinking Bokuto could ever be attracted to anyone like him.

Kuroo stood up, walking a bit unsteady, “I need a drink,” his breath was rigid and he knew if he didn’t get away from Bokuto now he would cry in front of him. 

Bokuto grabbed kuroo’s arm and stood as well, “Kuroo, I don’t think you’re Ugly. I think you very attractive. You should know that by now,” he spoke desperately, trying to wipe away the idea that Kuroo had in his brain right now.

Kuroo looked at him for a moment, and Bokuto thought that maybe he believed him.

“You don’t have to say it out of pity Bokuto,” he said instead, ripping his arm out of the others grip and heading down the staircase.

“Wait,” Bokuto groaned as he followed Kuroo down the stairs and zigzagged in between people to get to the main floor of the pent house.

There was yelling coming from the front of the building catching both Bokuto and Kuroo attention for a moment.

Daishou was yelling a the two owners of the house as they pushed him out of the door. Bokuto assumes he had started something and the owners didn’t like it. He turned to look at kuroo’s face, which held an even number expression if possible.

He looked like a ghost. Like all life has just drained from him. Bokuto watched as he walked to the kitchen where a bunch of people stood, now blowing smoke from vapes, pens and straight up blunts. 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi walked up to Bokuto, concern clear in their faces, “did you find him?”

Bokuto motioned over to Kuroo who had picked up a glass bottle of straight vodka and started chugging it. The woman and men around him cheer as he downed a little more than half the bottle before dropping it abruptly on the counter top and smiling.

“This isn’t good,” Iwaizumi said quietly as he watched Kuroo.

“Why the hell is he drinking like that?” Bokuto asked in shock. He turned to look at Oikawa who was just as concerned.

“Can’t you tell? He’s in pain,” Oikawa frowned before walking quickly over to his friend, the other two close behind him.

A man passed a shot of a darker substance to Kuroo who took it immediately no questions asked. When another girl offered him a sip of her cup he took it, slowly losing his grip. But he couldn’t say he cared. He just didn’t want to feel anymore. He wanted to get rid of everything that was in his head right now and just have fun. A few people had been crowding him and yelling something in his ear that he couldnt really understand, before Oikawa had pulled him away.

“Kuroo, you have to stop it, your getting out of control,” Oikawa said grabbing kuroo’s shoulders.

Kuroo looked at his friends. Iwaizumi looked disappointed and Bokuto looked scared for him. This only made Kuroo feel worse, and increases the need to drink even more.

He cackled at Oikawa, stumbling a bit over his own feet. Oikawa held him upright the best he could.

“Oikawa,” Kuroo smiled, though it was more pained than he would let anyone else know.

He had something to say to Oikawa.

He really did.

But he was so drunk that it literally left his mind.

Instead he loosened himself out of Oikawa grip and stumbled back to where the alcohol was. 

Bokuto couldn’t believe this was the same Kuroo from just a few minutes ago. He was stumbling and slurring as he filled up his cup more, ignoring Oikawa as he begged his friend to stop.

“Hey,” Kuroo yelled from across the bar, ignoring Oikawa who was snagging his cup away from him.

A tall man looked up at him. He looked like he was having a good enough time. Whatever he was smoking, Kuroo decided he wanted.

“I really wanna hit that,” Kuroo smirked, the best he could at the stage that he was in.

The man was obviously interested in Kuroo. Bokuto could tell by the way the other man bit his lip before speaking.

“Come over here and hit it then,” he flirted, holding the substance over the table.

Kuroo tripped a bit, falling against Bokuto’s side before pushing himself back up. 

Bokuto didn’t like the look on his face. He looked like he wanted attention and right now, Kuroo was looking for it in the wrong place. He turned to look at Oikawa and Iwaizumi who had both seemed to given up on the other man.

When Bokuto turned back around his mouth dropped as he watched Kuroo crawl across the table, earning cheers from a few guys and a lot of girls who were holding out their pens and their vapes for Kuroo to hit. 

Hitting each of them, Kuroo made his way to each substance before being pulled off of the table by a random dude.

Bokuto didn’t like that either. The man was just as drunk as Kuroo was, if not more. He looked like he wanted to fuck Kuroo right there on the table, but luckily, for everyone, Kuroo pushed the man away and walked over to a few girls.

“Hey you’re kinda cute, Come dance with me,” a girl yelled. It was so incredibly obvious that Kuroo wasn’t in his right mind right now. He could barely stand up straight and kept constantly tripping over his own feet.

Kuroo fell forward onto one of the girls, who gasped in surprise but still smiled, “sorry~, I only take it up the ass,” he smirked.

Iwaizumi cringed, “we need to go.”

“I agree,” Oikawa nodded. He genuinely felt terrible for Kuroo. He knew that Kuroo was only doing this because he was hurting.

Iwaizumi went to the other room to look for his keys leaving Oikawa and Bokuto together.

They both watched as Kuroo more so stumbled than danced with the girls. His face held a lopsided grin which Bokuto decided was only there because he was so drunk.

The music blared loudly through the speakers, hurting kuroo’s ears. He was seeing spots and everything was spinning at this point, but he couldn’t feel anything. He didn’t even remember what he was sad about. He felt something grip onto his wrist tightly and jerk him to the side.

A tall man with brown hair grabbed him. He had been much taller than Kuroo which was shocking and his arms started to roam a bit under kuroo’s shirt. Kuroo shook his head in protest and when the man didn’t stop he decided that maybe he really had drank too much.

Was he about to be raped right here? Wait... where was he? What was he even doing right now? 

His head started to fall to the side and for a second Kuroo thought that someone might’ve put something in his drink. His legs felt wobbly and his arms felt weak. 

After a minute of protest Kuroo realized that he couldn’t save himself from this guy. He needed help.

Please help

Don’t let him do it

Someone save me

Bokuto

A flash of white and grey appeared in his face and his body was snatched away from the other man.

“Fuck off man, he’s obviously drunk,” Bokuto spat as he grabbed kuroo’s waist and yanked him back. The man backed away rather quickly, probably because of how intimidating Bokuto looked and Bokuto started to walk to the door.

“Bokuudoo,” Kuroo slurred as he leaned back to look at the man, still holding on tight to his waist as if he would fall if he didn’t. He probably would’ve, “you saved me!”

Bokuto felt the ravens hand cup his face as he dragged him out of the party. He couldn’t help but blush at the contact. Oikawa and Iwaizumi had pulled the car around front and parked. He continued to help Kuroo get to the car, pushing him into the back seat, before climbing in with him.

The car ride home was completely silent. Everyone was trying to comprehend what had just happened. Iwaizumi was driving silently unless he was asking Oikawa if he was drinking water. Oikawa was sobering up. Kuroo was drunk and leaning against the door of the car. He seemed to be half awake and half asleep, but better than before.

So that left Bokuto alone with his god damn thoughts. His mind couldn’t understand what had just happened. How Kuroo went from point a to point z in a matter of minutes. He was right when he said he was a light weight. Bokuto couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty though. If he had just told Kuroo what he really thought, his heart would’ve been a little less broken and maybe he wouldn’t have lashed out like that.

“Tetsu, you okay?” Oikawa asked, pulling Bokuto out of his thoughts.

He looked over to Kuroo who sat up slowly, his reactions a bit delayed. He sat back against the seat, and swallowed hard, “no ’m not okay. My boyfriend jus cheated on me,” he answered, “and when I get home m gonna get beat up again.”

“Kuroo, why don’t you just leave him?” Iwaizumi questioned, eyes still on the road.

Bokuto turned to look at Kuroo. His head was turned down and his finger drew circles in his jeans, “it’s not easy. If I left I would have nobody.”

Bokuto pressed his lips in a thin line. If he would just leave Daishou, he would see that he had Bokuto. Suddenly, Kuroo let out a loud sigh and fell onto his back, head landing in Bokuto’s lap. The bigger man was a bit shocked by the sudden movement, but quickly adjusted so that Kuroo was comfortable.

“Well Kuroo your coming back to my place tonight, so you don’t have to worry about Daishou,” Oikawa said, turning around to place a hand on the ravens knee.

“Ngh-I don’t wanna be a bother,” Kuroo protested, putting his arm over his eyes. Swallowing again.

“You’re never a bother,” Iwaizumi added, “I’ll stay at Bokuto’s again.”

After Kuroo swallowed for a third time, Bokuto became a little concerned.

“Are you feeling alright Kuroo,” Bokuto asked as he thread a hand threw kuroo’s bedhead. It was still soft, and a bit damp from sweat.

Kuroo lifted his arm to look at Bokuto. He couldn’t really tell what the raven was thinking right now. He’d never seen Kuroo this way before. 

Kuroo let out a little moan of discomfort before reaching up to cup Bokuto’s cheek with his hand. Bokuto looked down at the mans head in his lap.

“I wish it was you,” Kuroo hiccuped a bit. His eyes stared straight into Bokuto’s.

“What do you mean?” Bokuto asked, reaching up to grab kuroo’s hand. He noticed the discontent in kuroo’s face as he layed there.

“I don’t feel so good,” Kuroo said at first, holding his mouth, but decided against it.

He turned back, still holding Bokuto’s face with his hand, “I wish you were my boyfriend from the start,” Kuroo slurred again. It sounded like he had a lot of spit in his mouth as he spoke.

“K-Kuro-“Bokuto’s eyes widened in shock.

“I wish I was good enough to be as important to volleyball as you,” Kuroo finished before sitting up and holding his mouth shut.

“Pull over,” he managed to get out before he rolled down the window and practically crawled into Bokuto’s lap to throw up.

Iwaizumi pulled over, and Oikawa ran out to help Kuroo throw up in the grass.

Bokuto sat there astonish. Kuroo was still in love with him. He just confessed. He felt like he couldn’t even think at the moment. 

Bokuto bit his lip. What about Daishou? What would happen if Kuroo still stayed with Daishou tomorrow? He was still drunk off his ass after all. He might even forget about everything in the morning.

Bokuto then started to feel ashamed. If he had just been there from the beginning, Kuroo wouldn’t have been going through all of this now. If he had just but volleyball on the back burner for two seconds he could have prevented all of this. He rubbed his eyes with his hand as he thought about everything that was just laid on him.

Iwaizumi turned, “so what are you gonna do?”

Bokuto looked up for a minute, staring at nothing in particular as he spoke, “there’s nothing I can do now. He’s with Daishou, and I can’t go back in time and change what I said.”

Iwaizumi sighed before looking straight ahead again, “Bokuto, there’s obviously feelings there for both of you. You need to do something about them before it’s too late,” he said before unlocking the car to let Kuroo and Oikawa back in.

They dropped Oikawa and Kuroo off at Oikawa’s place and then headed back to Bokuto’s place. 

Bokuto sighed as he rolled over in his bed, looking the the empty space on the bed. He ran his arm across the cool sheets.

What could he do to make Kuroo realize that he should be with Bokuto and not Daishou?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little disclaimer!! This one has graphic scenes of abuse so if that bothers u, just skip this chapter!!!

Kuroo woke up halfway through the night, stumbling to the bathroom and throwing up everything left in his stomach. He sat there for hours, worried that if he went back to bed he’d just come running back minutes later.

He sat against the bathroom wall,his own body slowly coming back to reality. He barely remembered anything from last night. Except for the fact that Daishou kissed another girl.

Kuroo sighed and leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling. He knew from the start that Daishou wasn’t that into kuroo, but he has always wanted Kuroo around just incase.

Kuroo was like Daishous safe words in a way. Like when people asked if he had a boyfriend, Daishou didn’t have to be embarrassed and say no because he had Kuroo. Or when Daishou needed someone to fuck, he didn’t have to go to a bar and pick up some girl, because he had Kuroo at home. Kuroo wasn’t really Daishous boyfriend, but more so his toy. Someone Daishou had total control over.

Why? Why did Kuroo allow Daishou to do that to him? It’s so obvious that Kuroo doesn’t love him. He didn’t even care that Daishou was kissing someone else, he was only upset because it was such an eye opener. He hated that it took his brain almost five years to realize that this relationship was never love, it was just toxicity. Kuroo was using Daishou too. He wanted to feel like he was loved by someone, even if it was fake. But he recently had a change of heart.

“You okay?” Oikawa walked through the bathroom door, and slumped down next to Kuroo.

Kuroo grunted in response, he looked out the window and noticed it was now light outside. He must’ve been thinking for longer than he realized.

Oikawa handed him a water bottle which he gladly accepted, “you drank a lot last night. Do remember anything?”

Kuroo nodded his head, and swallowed, “bits and pieces.”

Oikawa nodded his head as well. He couldn’t help but feel a little let down. Kuroo probably didn’t remember confessing to Bokuto, which would be a really big setback in terms of their relationship. 

“I think I’m going to break up with Daishou,” Kuroo mumbled.

Oikawa widened his eyes in disbelief, this was the last thing he expected to hear, “well good!” Oikawa smiled, but quickly composed himself when he realized that breakups were painful and Kuroo looked very unhappy, “Uh, when? Do you need my help?”

Kuroo sucked in a breath while he thought. If Oikawa came, would it really be beneficial? He felt like if Oikawa came he would just be embarrassed at how Daishou treated Kuroo. And Kuroo really didn’t want anymore pity from his friends.

“Um, well could you drive me to my car? It’s been at the gym since your last practice,” Kuroo said instead. He knew it made Oikawa feel good to do something helpful, so he didn’t wanna deny Oikawa from helping in some sort of way.

Oikawa drove Kuroo to his car, and as he drove himself to daishous condo, he only felt more and more afraid the closer he got. He had originally planned to tell Daishou off, and break up with him. 

But now he felt so... weak. It was like the closer he got to the condo the less power he held. He pulled into the parking lot and parked in his usual spot. Kuroo sat there for what felt like hours debating wether or not he wanted to do this. If he walked in that house, there were a handful of different outcomes and with each one Kuroo had narrowed them down to Kuroo getting his ass totally beat.

Kuroo sighed and shoved open the door of his car. He had to do this. He wanted to. To be free from his leash that Daishou kept him on. He didn’t want to be with Daishou anymore and he had to say that. 

Even if it meant he was about to get the worst beating of his life.

Oikawa knew something bad was about to happen. His stomach ached when he dropped Kuroo off at his car. He could feel it in every part of his body. Something bad would happen today wether Oikawa did something about it or not. He quickly pulled out his phone to text Iwaizumi.

Oikawa: Kuroo is breaking up w Daishou... I feel like this is going to end really badly

Iwa: srsly??

Iwa: wat r u gna do?

Oikawa: idk I just feel like tets is gna get hurt

Iwa: well if u feel tht way then u should go with him.

Oikawa: he told me no

Iwa: ...when have u ever listened to anything anyone said?

Oikawa smiled before putting his phone in the seat next to him and snapping his car into drive. He decided that he would go to kuroo’s and put his ear up to the door just to make sure everything was okay. If they were just talking he would leave, if there was yelling Oikawa would step in.

He took the elevator up to the floor that daishous condo sat on. Suddenly it felt like the atmosphere changed. It felt gloomy and made Oikawa’s hair on the back of his neck to stand.

He walked closer to the door and pressed his ear to it lightly. 

He couldn’t hear anything at the moment. Oikawa wondered if he should stay or leave. Something told him he needed to be here though. His feet physically didn’t move as he stood on the other side of the door, waiting for either a sound, or Kuroo to come walking out.

Kuroo walked through the condo quietly. He didn’t dare make a sound. Daishou was currently filling the water for a bath when Kuroo got there, so he didn’t hear him come in.

All of his motives before were thrown out the window as soon as he walked in. Kuroo felt like such a coward. He quietly sneaked into the bed and packed all of his clothes into a duffle and a few picture frames and photo album. He shoved as many shoes as he could manage with shakey hands, glancing back every once in a while to make sure Daishou hadn’t seen him. 

When his bag was packed full of everything he needed, he made a dash for the door, deciding that he could pack his shit and leave without telling Daishou they were over.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Kuroo froze in the kitchen. His heart was beating out of his chest, too scared to turn around and see the man behind him.

He gathered as much courage as he could before speaking, “I’m leaving. For good.”

He felt Daishou put a death grab on kuroo’s arm as he turned him around, “like hell you are!”

“I am!” Kuroo yelled again trying to push Daishou off of him. He felt so weak to this man. So insignificant. 

Daishou pulled back his arm quickly and swung it across kuroo’s face. 

Why? There’s no reason to be so physical right now. He looked the man. The one who’s suppose to love and take care of him. The one who’s suppose to make him feel safe.

And Kuroo felt nothing but fear.

“Shut up! You’re not leaving me! Who do you think you are,” Daishou pushed Kuroo against the kitchen counter hard. Hard enough for kuroo’s arm to slip and break a vase onto the ground.

Daishou grabbed at kuroo’s shirt then, pulling him up.

Kuroo grabbed at daishous wrists trying to pull it off of his shirt. He cursed how strong Daishou had gotten since high school. If this had been a high school fight, Kuroo would’ve won. But Daishou had grown and continued to gain muscle, while Kuroo stayed the same height and lost all muscle mass. He was weak.

“You cheated Suguru! I’m not staying with you anymore,” Kuroo snapped back.

Daishou had nothing but hatred in his eyes as he looked at Kuroo. He reeled his arm back again, this time punching Kuroo hard enough to make his nose bleed and his head felt light, but heavy at the same time.

“T-Tetsurou,” a quiet voice questioned at the entrance of the house.

Kuroo’s mouth dropped as blood dripped from his chin onto his shirt. Oikawa was here.

Oikawa was seeing everything that was happening. Oikawa was looking at Kuroo with shock and pity right now. 

Kuroo turned back to look at Daishou breathlessly. He looked scary. So angry.

“Why the hell did you bring him here,” Daishou smacked Kuroo again, tearing the skin on his lip and making it bleed. 

“Kuroo!” Oikawa shouted.

“You need to get out of here!” Kuroo begged Oikawa, Daishou grabbed at kuroo’s hair and yanked him down to the ground, “ah! Leave Oikawa.”

He heard the door slam shut and cursed. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Oikawa’s help. He did. He really did. But he didn’t want Oikawa to get hurt in the process. He wouldn’t put any of his friends through his pain.

Oikawa slammed the door shut, hands shaking. Oh my god, oh my god! What do I do? 

He reached in his pockets and grabbed his phone out trying to tap the number in quickly, with his trembling fingers.

Kuroo groaned and yanked his hair away from daishous hands. He cringed at the ripping noise he heard befor standing. There was blood all over the hard wood floor spilling out of kuroo’s face.

“You’re staying with me because you love ME, and only me!” Daishou yelled reaching for Kuroo again.

Kuroo backed away quickly and stepped into the bathroom. He quickly grabbed the door and tried slamming it shut just to get away from Daishou, but the aggressive man had grabbed the door and swung it open.

“I don’t love you Suguru,” Kuroo shook his head. He needed to get that through to the other man. This wasn’t love. Love wasn’t this painful.

Before he knew it, Daishou slammed Kuroo down so hard that his head hit the back of the bathtub, and his vision became blurred.

Something was different about this.

Daishou grabbed kuroo’s neck tightly and shoved him down into the water of the bathtub. Kuroo could hear Daishou shouting but he couldn’t seem to understand.

Is he going to kill me?

He grabbed at the mans hold on his neck that was tightening. Kuroo knew he couldn’t hold his breath for this long. The warm water from the bath was turning red from his own blood.

Am I going to die?

His head grew foggy and he felt tired. He never thought Daishou would go this far. He was really going to die right now. 

Kuroo didn’t fight back much, because what was there to fight back for? His life was hard, so leaving didn’t really seem so bad.

His mind was slowly shutting down, but one thing lasted in his head as his body started to go limp.

I’m never going to see Kotarou again

Kuroo vaguely heard the sound of unfamiliar voices yelling and footsteps pounding, before the world turned dark.

Oikawa ran in the house behind the police and paramedics. He prayed that by calling them he was doing the right thing.

The hall to the bathroom was crowded and he couldn’t see what was going on, but he could hear Daishou shouting that ‘it wasn’t me’, or that ‘he did this to himself’. 

Oikawa felt his heart stuttering as he pushed back the people, trying to find Kuroo.

But when he did, he wished he didn’t.

He felt like he couldn’t catch his breath, trying to suck in air that just wouldn’t come to his throat.

“Tetsurou!” 

Kuroo had been pulled out of the bathtub that was dyed red from the blood trickling out of his face. He was unconscious on the bathroom floor and paramedics were crowding around him.

Oikawa tried shoving past them, tears blurring his eyes as he called for his friend who wouldn’t answer. Kuroo was either dead or unconscious. He begged for the latter. They were taking Daishou away with handcuffs.

Kuroo’s neck was purple and there were scratch marks deep in his neck. His hair was wet and stuck to his face, no bedhead in sight. His shirt was drenched too, and that’s when Oikawa really realized that Daishou was trying to drown him. He was trying to kill him!

Oikawa let out a strangled cry as he watched the paramedic preform cpr. This felt unreal. He should’ve stayed for Kuroo. This was all his fault. 

He cried so hard that he felt like he was screaming. Maybe he was. Trying to form the sounds of kuroo’s name through distressed cries.

“Please wake up,” he begged.

Bokuto sat at the table with Iwaizumi, digging into his pancakes. Last night had been wild, Bokuto thought. With everything that happened to Kuroo, he wasn’t sure if it was correct to be in such a good mood. But, Kuroo had confessed to him and, even though he had a boyfriend, Bokuto decided he should confess too. It felt like the world was finally giving him everything he wanted.

He laughed to himself. Funny how volleyball was no longer the first thing that came to mind when he thought of everything he wanted. Maybe it was because he already had it. But it was probably because he was really into Kuroo. 

Iwaizumi’s phone rang, pulling him out of his thoughts. He watched as iwaizumi’s face contorted from a calm and satisfied smile to a terrified and shocked one.

Iwaizumi jumped to his feet, “what’s wrong.”

Bokuto’s eyes grew wide. He looked alert. Like something was seriously wrong.

“What happened? Why’re you crying?”

Bokuto suddenly remembered that Oikawa was probably still with Kuroo, which was enough have him standing and looking at Iwaizumi with a serious face.

“Okay I’m coming now,” Iwaizumi hung up and moved quickly to grab his keys.

“What happened?” Bokuto asked quickly, following Iwaizumi to the door.

“Somethings happened to Kuroo-“

“Well then I’m coming,” Bokuto interrupted before Iwaizumi could finish.

“No Bokuto. You need to stay here. You’re still on probation,” Iwaizumi was stern as he spoke, probably in a hurry to make sure his boyfriend was okay. 

Iwaizumi must’ve noticed how stressed out this made Bokuto, because he calmed himself down just enough to put his hands on Bokuto’s shoulders. 

“I’ll call you as soon as I know what’s happening. I promise I’ll make sure he’s okay,” he said in a soft but still strong voice.

Bokuto pressed his lips into a thin line. He knew something was horribly wrong.

When Kuroo woke up, the first thing he thought was that he was warm and the room was bright. He slowly opened his eyes, squinting at the bright lights in the room. After a minute he realized that he was in a hospital.

He sat up a bit, but winced in pain, grabbing his neck.

“Good morning Kuroo, how’re you feeling,” a lady asked. She had light brown hair that sat in a pony tail, and she was short. She must’ve been a nurse.

He went to speak but when he did, a low voice crack was all that came out. He put a hand on his chest looking at the woman.

“Ah yes you voice might be weak right now. Do you remember what happened to you?” The nurse asked, she looked sympathetic.

Kuroo nodded his head. He felt like he still had a lot of adrenaline running right now, so the shock hadn’t really hit him yet.

“Oh alright,” the nurse smiled before sitting on the edge of kuroo’s bed.

“Well, I wanted you to know, that man is going to jail for a while now. So he won’t be able to hurt you anymore.”

Kuroo raised his eyebrows a bit and opened his mouth, but he really didn’t have anything to say. That was good, Kuroo thought. He didn’t really want the break up to go that way, but if that’s what it takes to get away from him then he is god it worked. 

Instead Kuroo nodded his head again, feeling the dull ache in his head more now. He leaned back in the hospital bed.

The nurse then explained that in most domestic violence cases, hospitals keep their patience over night just Incase.

“Is there anybody we could call for you? A friend maybe?” The nurse asked. 

Kuroo sighed. Who would he call? Usually if there was a situation like this, he would call Daishou, just so that he could have someone who could take him home. But now he didn’t even have that. He had nobody to fall back on.

He worried that if he called Oikawa it would be too much for them, especially if they had a game tomorrow. Iwaizumi wouldn’t be much help either. 

Bokuto.

Kuroo didn’t want to see Bokuto. He didn’t want Bokuto to pity him. If he say Kuroo the way he was right now, it would basically feel like Bokuto was rubbing it in his face. Even if Bokuto didn’t say anything, Kuroo felt like he was proving how stupid Kuroo was for ever thinking about love. Maybe if Kuroo has just focused on volleyball the way he had, he wouldn’t have ended up here.

“Sir?” 

The nurse snapped Kuroo out of his thoughts, “sorry... uh...”

Who could he call?

Who did he have left?

He had nobody. He was so alone now. He face felt like it was going numb. He didn’t want to cry. He wouldn’t. If he started crying he didn’t know that he could stop.

“We could call you’re emergency contact if you’d like,” the nurse answered.

Emergency contact huh? It’s been about 3 years.


	8. Chapter 8

It was around seven at night and Kuroo was sick of being in the hospital. 

Hospitals were just sad, and lonely. Nobody had ever shown up to see him, or if they had tried a nurse wouldn’t let them in, so Kuroo was sort of just stuck with his thoughts.

He’d been trying so hard to keep all of his thoughts at bay, but it seemed like the later it got, the more Kuroo thought about what happened. Daishous angry face, glaring daggers into kuroo’s. Oikawa had looked so scared.

And the bath. The murky red water. His own blood mixing into it. It was so scary. Kuroo felt so helpless. 

He swallowed hard. He didn’t want to cry, but he felt his eyes start to burn and his eyelids grew heavy. It felt like his own heart was folding in on itself. How could Daishou be so cold?

The door creaked open, and kuroo’s entire body stiffened. Someone was coming in. Was it Daishou coming back to hurt him? His body froze in place, laying on his side. He didn’t dare move.

“Kuro,” a familiar voice said. 

It was so familiar, so comforting. Slowly Kuroo turned around to see kenma, standing at the door with an unreadable expression.

“Oh hey,” Kuroo answered uncomfortably, “how’s it going?”

“It’s been three years and the first thing you can say is how’s it going?” Kenma bit back.

Kuroo dropped his shoulders, letting Kenma’s words pull him deeper into his self pity.

“I’m sorry,” he spoke weakly.

Kenma sighed. He sounded annoyed and Kuroo wondered why he came if he was just going to yell at Kuroo.

“You always do this Kuroo,” he started to speak again, getting closer to the hospital bed.

“I know I’m sorry,” Kuroo apologized, feeling tears prick at his eyes. He wouldn’t let them fall though. He wasn’t that selfish. Even though Kenma probably thought so at the moment.

“You always worry about everyone else before even thinking about yourself!” Kenma raised his voice.

Kuroo looked up at him confused, “wait what-“

“You were protecting me from him. You were protecting everyone from him. That’s why you had to push everyone away,” Kenma spoke over Kuroo and stood next to his bed side.

The raven looked up at his friend. He wasn’t expecting Kenma to give him this type of scolding. He had expected him to call Kuroo selfish for choosing Daishou, even though he had no choice. 

“You’re always like this,” Kenma poked at kuroo’s forehead, “when are you gonna learn to accept other people’s help?”

Tears fell from Kenma’s eyes a bit, shocking Kuroo even more. “Kenma I’m sorry! Don’t cry, I’m sorry,” he reached out to hug his friends waist tightly.

Kenma hugged him back, “it’s not you’re fault. I’m just upset that I couldn’t do anything to stop this sooner,” the boy sniffled.

Kuroo didn’t say anything. He wasn’t sure what he could say. He’d never really seen Kenma cry before, let alone over something to do with Kuroo entirely. 

“And I’m not crying,” Kenma added, sniffling and wiping tears from his face.

Kuroo chuckled a bit, “you are.”

“Are not,” Kenma smiled from the familiar banter they’d just started.

“Are too-“

“Are not.”

The two of them laughed a bit, letting Kenma calm himself. 

In truth, Kuroo felt jealous of how freely Kenma could cry. How they just fell out of his eyes without a care in the world. Kuroo couldn’t cry even if he felt like it. It was like his body was too scared to. Like it would make everyone else disgusted or annoyed. 

Of course, Suguru had drilled that in his mind years ago, when he would still cry after getting hit. After a while Kuroo realized that if he cried because it hurt Daishou would get angrier, and if he cried because he was unhappy, he wouldn’t be lifted up, but only further put down, for being so weak.

“Can I?” Kenma asked, motioning to the empty space on the small hospital bed. Kuroo scooted over so that Kenma could squeeze into the bed.

Once he got situated, Kenma let Kuroo lean his head on the smaller males shoulder and the two fell into a comfortable silence. It was so familiar, and Kuroo didn’t realize how much he missed this moment. He could feel Kenma’s eyes, burning into the bruises and scratches on his neck.

“The doctor told me everything that happened,” Kenma softly stroked kuroo’s neck, “are you okay?”

Kuroo was quick to answer, not putting any thought into it, “yeah I’m fine.”

But that was a lie. He knew Kenma could see right through it, but still, he wouldn’t speak about it. He didn’t want to make Kenma uncomfortable with his horrible experience. It was way too much for any normal person to deal with.

“I missed you,” Kuroo said instead, not daring to look at Kenma. They weren’t really the type of friends to say things like that, and it’d been three years, making it even more awkward.

“I missed you too.”

It was quiet between them again, Kenma placing a hand on kuroo’s shoulder, trying to comfort such a larger man. It made Kuroo feel worse in a way. Made him feel disgusting for being so much bigger than Kenma.

“I watched all your twitch streams,” Kuroo added, trying his best to make Kenma realize that he really did miss him.

Kenma let out a “humph” before hugging Kuroo a bit tighter.

“I walked by the bakery when you were working sometimes, just to make sure you were okay,” Kenma said. Kuroo knew he was blushing from being so open with his feelings. 

“I heard you reconnected with bokuto,” Kenma probed.

Kuroo was quiet, “Uh yeah.”

“Are you okay with that?” Kenma questioned, running his fingers through kuroo’s disheveled hair.

Kuroo shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know. He’s a good friend to have.”

“Kuro,” Kenma said in a knowing tone.

Kuroo knew what he was trying to get at. He wanted to know if Kuroo was still in love with Bokuto, and if he was okay with just being friends.

But Kuroo didn’t even know the answer to that.

“I just. I don’t want to lose him again. I don’t think I could ever be in a relationship again after this, and I don’t know what I’d do if Bokuto and I stopped being friends over something as stupid as my feelings.”

“You’re feelings aren’t stupid... and what if Bokuto changed his mind? What if he actually likes you?”

Kuroo thought back to the night of the party. When he was tipsy on the roof. He remembered the look of discomfort on Bokuto’s face when Kuroo asked if he thought he was ugly. He didn’t even know what to say.

“Trust me. He’s not interested,” Kuroo sighed. 

It was painful to think about, so instead he closed his eyes.

He wasn’t even sure he would be able to handle a relationship. He couldn’t even cry over everything that just happened. He was truly fucked. Everytime he so much as thought about having a relationship, his body would tense, and he would only remember pain. 

Love was just too painful for Kuroo.

Bokuto felt like he couldn’t even function. His stomach permanently ached since he got the news from iwaizumi.

It was so shocking, Bokuto almost didn’t believe it. He had known that Daishou was a pretty shitty guy, but he didn’t think he would attempt to kill Kuroo. 

Bokuto felt like Kuroo was the only thing that occupied his mind. He couldn’t sleep or eat anything. Sunday morning he woke up from a sleep that felt like two hours and drove himself to the game.

For once, Bokuto actually dreaded the game today. He would rather be by kuroo’s side, making sure he was okay. It was also evident that Bokuto would not be playing well at all today.

Before the game, the coaches had a meeting with all of the players, explaining that Daishou was in jail for attempted murder and domestic abuse, which lead to his dismissal from the team.

Bokuto felt like he was gonna be sick as the coach told everyone that Kuroo was also recovering in the hospital and would be discharged today. It seemed like more people worried about Kuroo than Daishou. Bokuto didn’t really know how close Kuroo was to everyone on the team. As far as Bokuto knew he just brought snacks for everyone, and picked up Daishou after practice.

Either way, the situation that unfolded the day before effected how everyone played. They almost lost their final set, and just barely won the game 24-22. 

It just didn’t feel the same to Bokuto anymore. Volleyball didn’t seem as important to him as Kuroo right now. He was almost happy that the game had ended, and he was quick to get home and shower, waiting for the news that Kuroo would be home.

But... where was kuroo’s home now?

Kuroo would not go anywhere. Oikawa had come to pick Kuroo up and take him back to his place, but Kuroo denied it. 

Kenma also offered Kuroo a place to stay, but Kuroo denied that as well.

But he definitely could not go back to daishous. Never again. 

“Kuroo if you aren’t coming home with me, or Kenma, where are you going?” Oikawa asked standing at the edge of kuroo’s bed. 

The nurse replaced kuroo’s Iv with a bandaid, “I don’t want to intrude on either of you. I’ll just find a place.”

Oikawa handed Kuroo a spare change of clothes, “Kuroo please just come with me, I want you to be safe,” he pleaded.

Kuroo was silent as he pulled on the pair of sweatshorts Oikawa brought and untied the hospital gown.

Kenma winced at the sight of kuroo’s back. It was bruised from the way he had been bent backward into the bathtub.

Kuroo took a minute to think. Where would he actually go? He really had nowhere to return to. He bit his lip hard. It was getting more and more difficult to suppress the tears that threatened to fall.

He wouldn’t cry. He couldn’t. Not in front of Kenma or oikawa. It would probably make them cry as well.

Kuroo turned to Oikawa and nodded his head. A silent agreement that he would go home with Oikawa. 

During the car ride home, Kuroo had never felt more pain than he felt now. His whole body just ached, but he felt numb too. He was undeniably sad.

When Kuroo got to Oikawa’s house, he felt ten times worse. It was Like reality had hit him and he was suddenly hyper aware of everything that was happening. Akaashi and Kenma had gone to Daishous place to get all of kuroo’s things and bring them to Oikawa’s.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi we’re cleaning up the house a bit, moving fast to move things around to make Kuroo comfortable.

And while all of these things were nice, nobody had even stopped to see if Kuroo was truly doing okay. He wasn’t. He felt sick to his stomach. His mind kept sneaking back to Daishou and that day and everything that had ever happened in their relationship. 

Then he couldn’t stop the anxious feelings that kept rising every time Kuroo thought about what would happen to him. He couldn’t see a future anywhere. He felt so lost. His stomach hurt so bad, almost like he’d throw up.

He slowly stood from the guest room bed. Kuroo felt like he was so out of place. He was intruding on Oikawa and Iwaizumi and he didn’t want to be here. He just wanted to run.

Maybe he would get some water. Yeah waters good. That’ll settle his stomach and maybe calm his nerves.

He walked into the kitchen that sat empty. Kenma and Akaashi had arrived and were going back and forth between the car and the house to set stuff down, and Oikawa and Iwaizumi were probably grabbing stuff from their bathroom to let Kuroo borrow.

So Kuroo was just alone. He bit the inside of his cheeks, feeling his throat grow sore. He felt like a ticking time bomb. Like at any moment he could cry, even if he didn’t want to.

The door creaked open and Kuroo turned a bit to see who it was.

“Kuroo,” Bokuto smiled softly, walking up to the man. He was nervous. Bokuto really didn’t know what to say or do in situations like this.

“Oh...Hey,” Kuroo said quietly, grabbing a cup from the cabinet.

“I’m glad you’re okay. How’re you feeling?” Bokuto asked whole heartedly.

Kuroo didn’t want to answer. He really wanted Bokuto to go away. If he didn’t, Kuroo would actually have a break down. And he didn’t want to put that on him. 

“Ah yeah I’m fine,” Kuroo nodded, standing still in the kitchen. He kept himself facing away from Bokuto, to avoid seeing the sympathetic look on his face.

After a minute of silence, Bokuto got agitated. What was Kuroo saying? Why didn’t he want to talk? From what Oikawa and Kenma had told him, Kuroo really didn’t want to talk about anything to anyone. Bokuto couldn’t stand that. It wasn’t healthy for himself to hold that type of shit in. It could seriously mess with his mental health.

“Bullshit,” Bokuto grabbed kuroo’s arm and turned him around.

Kuroo was quick to pull his arm out of Bokuto grasp, “what?”

Please don’t ask me anything.

I don’t want you to see me like this.

“I’m saying bullshit. There’s no way you’re okay, you’re boyfriend just tried to kill you,” Bokuto raised his voice bluntly.

For reasons unknown to Kuroo, Bokuto’s words made kuroo’s heart sting. Maybe it was because somebody was finally acknowledging what happened. Nobody else had. Not even Kuroo, he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it.

He felt his lips tremble a bit, “stop it,” Kuroo commanded to Bokuto. Kuroo grabbed at the shirt on his chest, feeling his skin physically burn.

“No,” Bokuto pressed on. Kuroo needed to get this out of his system, or else Bokuto feared it could lead to something far worse. “You’re not okay right now. I know you’re not. I know you!”

“Shut up!” Kuroo yelled. He felt his body start to tremble as small tears slipped from his eyes. He looked down trying his best to hide them.

Bokuto finched a bit at kuroo’s sudden outburst but didn’t let it stop him. He need to get it through kuroo’s head, “Kuroo, it’s okay if you’re not okay.”

“Stop,” lips trembling he felt his knees growing weaker, still clenching his fist to his chest, trying to protect himself in some way.

“I’m here for you Tetsurou.”

And for some reason, Kuroo couldn’t hold it in after hearing that. He let out a whimper as more tears fell, and his legs started to give out.

Bokuto widened his eyes, immediately going to kuroo’s aid, and grabbing his arms to lead him to the floor.

That’s when all hell really broke lose. Kuroo’s crying grew so loud that he was basically screaming. Bokuto pressed Kuroo up against his chest, hugging him tightly.

It was terrifying. He had never seen Kuroo cry. He had never seen anyone cry like this actually. This was so intense that Bokuto started to question if Kuroo was actually hurt.

It racked through kuroo’s body, and he couldn’t control the cries that escaped him. Everything just hurt. He gripped onto Bokuto’s shirt tightly, crying into his chest as he hugged him.

He heard Oikawa and Iwaizumi running into the kitchen, asking what was wrong. He could feel Bokuto shaking his head and saying that he had Kuroo and not to worry.

And that only made him cry harder. So hard that his body felt like he was going to pass out.

He cried for Daishou, and how horrible the entire relationship was. How much Kuroo had to change to fit the mans mood and how little payoff it had gotten him. 

He cried for his body and how different it looked and how upset it made him. The muscles vanished before his eyes and he couldn’t do anything about it.

“I just wanted to be loved,” Kuroo sobbed harder into Bokuto. 

Bokuto gritted his teeth and held him closer. If only Kuroo knew how he felt. But now wasn’t the time for him to confess. This was a time for Kuroo to heal.

“I feel like I can never love again,” Kuroo cried again, because it was true.

He felt terrified to ever fall in love ever again. He didn’t want to feel this pain again. It was just too much.

Bokuto cursed. No no no. He doesn’t mean that. He’s just upset right? Had he just lost his chances? Maybe He should’ve said something. Still, Bokuto held Kuroo tighter, pressing his face against kuroo’s hair.

After a minute, Kuroo realized that crying felt really good. It felt like all of his pain was seeping out of his body. So then he cried about everything else.

He cried about the loss of his mom and dad. Cried that he had nobody to look up to anymore.

He cried for his relationship with Kenma and how ruined it had become all because of Kuroo.

Then Kuroo cried for Bokuto.

He cried for how he never had a shot with him. For the pain of unrequited love. Kuroo longed for Bokuto for so so long, and he still had zero chances with him, and god it hurt so bad.

“Please don’t let me,” Kuroo cried. He couldn’t get it out.

“Please don’t let you what?” Bokuto questioned softly into kuroo’s hair. Bokuto felt like he was about to choke up too, after hearing how utterly broken Kuroo sounded.

“Don’t let me let you go again,” Kuroo cried hard, but the sound was muffled in Bokuto’s shirt.

Bokuto couldn’t help but smile. Even though his love was unrequited, he would always be with Kuroo as a friend, and while that was hard, he would do it if it meant he could stay with Kuroo.

“I will never, ever let you leave me,” Bokuto promised, holding even tighter if possible as the boy cried.

Kuroo felt like he had finally gotten it all out, calming down enough to breathe correctly again. He stayed buried in Bokuto’s chest, where it felt safe and comforting.

“I don’t want to be here,” Kuroo whimpered, pressing his forehead to Bokuto’s collar bone.

“Where do you want to be?” Bokuto asked. He looked up to Iwaizumi and Oikawa who had came back after kuroo’s crying died down. Akaashi and Kenma had ended up in the kitchen too at some point, but Bokuto hadn’t noticed.

Kuroo shrugged his shoulders, still keeping his face in Bokuto’s shirt, despite how grossly wet it was with tears.

Bokuto rubbed circles into kuroo’s back, thinking of what to say next.

“Do you wanna stay with me?”

He felt Kuroo tense a bit, and after a minute of silence, the raven sat up to look Bokuto in the eyes. His Eyes were red and puffy, and his cheeks were tinted red from crying. 

“I live alone, so you know, you wouldn’t be bothering anybody... and I really would enjoy some company,” Bokuto smiled. He knew exactly what he was doing. It was obvious to everyone that Kuroo didn’t want to stay with someone who had a relationship because he felt like he would just be in the way.

Since Bokuto lived alone , there was no way he would say no to living with him. 

But was Bokuto okay with that? Could he live with Kuroo and not fall harder than he already was? Kuroo had just made it clear that he didn’t want to be in a relationship again, but would Bokuto be able to accept that?

Kuroo nodded his head silently, and soon they were both on their feet, packing kuroo’s things into Bokuto’s car.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled to be excited to write this chapter. I’m kinda losing my spark that I originally had while writing this!! But don’t worry, I hate it when others leave me hanging so I’ll try my best to get out the next chapter and maybe make it a little better than this one

The first night Kuroo stayed over, proved to be a lot more difficult that Bokuto had originally anticipated. It wasn’t like he didn’t want Kuroo to stay with him, because he honestly liked knowing the Kuroo was safe with him, but Bokuto was lacking in the ability to care for a victim of domestic abuse.

He’d noticed this just shortly after arriving at his house. They had both been prettt quiet, Kuroo only occasionally sniffling from his episode early. The two were in the kitchen, putting away plates that Kuroo had to take from the condo. They had belonged to his mother, and he had taken them when moving out of his house.

Bokuto assumed that Kuroo was deep in thought, as he glumly places a few away at a time. When he was putting away the last plate, it slipped off the shelf, and as he fumbled his hands to catch it, it shattered against the counter.

Bokuto looked to Kuroo startled, and he jumped from the quick motion. “Bokuto, I’m sorry,” Kuroo winced as Bokuto walked closer to Kuroo.

He had put his hands up in defense and Bokuto felt his heart pinch at that. Instead of hitting Kuroo, which he hadn’t planned on doing in the first place, he reached for kuroo’s hand, “let me see,” he said softly.

Kuroo furrowed his brows, letting his defenses down, “ah- the plate?” He questioned confused for a second.

Bokuto gave the man a sad smile, “no, silly, your hand. It’s bleeding,” he said, before taking Kuroo over to the sink and washing off the blood seeping out of a tiny cut on his finger. It’d be fine with a bandaid. The fact that Kuroo our his hands up out of reflex had really made Bokuto uneasy. He wondered if there was something he should say to make Kuroo feel more at ease. Of course, Bokuto knew these things took some time, but he still wanted the raven to feel safe here.

“Uh... Kuroo,” Bokuto started, as he folded a bandaid onto kuroo’s finger. Kuroo looked up in response. 

“I want you to know you’re safe here.”

Kuroo face immediately turned red, causing Bokuto’s own face to heat up as well. The situation quickly turned awkward and both of their mouths quirked into an uncomfortable grin.

“Ah! Well um, you know! I just mean that I’m not gonna hit you... Oh but you probably already knew that so i dunno why I even brought it-“

Kuroo laughed at Bokuto’s rambling. That was something that Bokuto would probably never be able to outgrow. “Thank you Bo. I’m just adjusting.”

Bokuto nodded his head, considering this conversation a win. Hopefully Kuroo would be able to see that he was safe with Bokuto quickly, even though he could barely even comfort Kuroo at all. He hadn’t even saved him from Daishou, that was Oikawa. Bokuto was just... a friend. Not his hero, not his love interest, not even his bestfriend anymore.

And he sort of hated that.

The rest of the day was spent unpacking and making kuroo’s room more comfortable. At around 8pm Bokuto had ordered take out because he didn’t have enough food for the two of them. He would have to increase the groceries he bought now too. 

After that, Bokuto decided he’d turn in for bed early tonight. He’d slumped down into his sheets, and he would be lying if he had told you he wasn’t sulking. It’s just that, this was a huge setback and Bokuto hadn’t taken it into account.

There was no way he could tell Kuroo how he felt now. The man just got out of a horrible relationship, and he probably had serious anxiety from everything that happened. Bokuto worried that Kuroo wouldn’t be ready for a relationship with him, or anyone for that manner.

Bokuto flipped the pillow to the cold side, which wasn’t really that much cooler but he had heard it worked in high school and always did it just cuz. Even though it was under poor circumstances, Bokuto was happy to have Kuroo here. It was an occasional reminder that Bokuto fucked up bad in high school, but there was nothing he could do to change that now. So he wanted to do what he could to rekindle the friendship he had with Kuroo, even if that meant he would have to put his feelings on the back burner.

Well maybe he did mind. At least a little bit. Maybe that’s how Kuroo felt when Bokuto told him he needed to focus on volleyball. He cringed deeper into the pillow. Why the hell did high school Bokuto say that?

He blinked his eyes a few times, feeling his lids grow heavier. What time was it? It had to be late at night now. He’d been thinking for at least two hours. 

Don’t let me let you go

Kuroo had said that earlier today and it had stuck in Bokuto’s head since then. Bokuto couldn’t really imagine being pushed away by Kuroo again. It was so painful last time, like a piece of his heart was ripped out of him.

Just as he started to drift off, he heard faint shuffles against his hard wood. It slowly got louder, then once the steps had approached Bokuto’s bedroom door they stopped. Then he heard a loud thump on the floor.

Bokuto rolled from his spot in bed to look at the clock.

3:19am

What would he be doing up at this hour, Bokuto thought. 

“Kuroo?” He asked from his bed. He turned on the lamp and saw the raven, sitting on the floor at the entrance of Bokuto’s room, “what are you doing on the floor?”

His legs were bent up to his knees and his arms held onto them tightly. “I... I don’t want to be in there.”

Bokuto rubbed his eyes a bit. Huh? Didn’t want to be in the room? 

“Did you not like it?” Bokuto questioned. He had helped Kuroo move into the room, and he thought the set up was pretty nice and comfy.

“No it’s nice, I just...” Kuroo’s words died off, not knowing what to say next. Bokuto could tell Kuroo was embarrassed by the way he was holding his shoulders. They were turned down and his face refused to look at Bokuto.

“Are you scared?” Bokuto questioned. He moved to sit at the edge of the bed, closer to Kuroo. He watched as the man nodded his head and ran a finger through his hair.

“You know he’s not going to get you here. He’s locked up,” Bokuto tried his best to calm the other, but it all sort of came out wrong and it almost sounded like Bokuto was being condescending.

Kuroo looked at his bandaid on his finger, peeling at the end, “I know. I’m just not used to being alone.” He knew he sounded like a total nuisance right now, but sitting near Bokuto calmed his nerves.

Bokuto stared his friend, thinking. Theres wasn’t much he could really say for Kuroo right now. 

“You don’t have to talk to me. I just feel safer near you. So I’m just going to sit here,” Kuroo added so that Bokuto didn’t have to speak. 

“Why don’t you just lay here,” Bokuto patted next to him in his bed. It was big enough for the two of them, and they’d slept in the same bed countless times back in highschool, so Bokuto thought that maybe he’d be comfortable doing that.

He was wrong though. Kuroo shook his head, “no I’m gonna stay right here. You can just go back to sleep.”

It was the fact that it was Bokuto’s bed. Kuroo felt like if he got into bed with Bokuto, he’d really fall in love with him, and right now that was really scary to Kuroo. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship that had just gotten better again. 

Bokuto turned his light off after that, and Kuroo was the slightest bit shocked that he gave up so fast, even though that was what Kuroo asked. After a minute of shuffling though, he felt bokutos presence getting closer to him in the dark.

“Well I’m not gonna leave you alone on the hardwood floor,” he sighed, leaning against the wall with Kuroo. He put a blanket over kuroo’s legs and wrapped an arm around him.

Kuroo’s body tensed. This wasn’t going to help him fall out of love with Bokuto. But after a minute of leaning against Bokuto’s shoulder, the feeling at the pit of his stomach subsided and he felt his eyelids pull down.

It’s just the hardwood floor. Not the bed. There’s nothing sexual about the hardwood floor Kuroo told himself.

But he also couldn’t help but think, that nothing screams ‘I love you’ more than someone laying on the hardwood floor with you, when their warm and soft bed is merely 6 feet away. Kuroo greedily decided to take that idea of his and hold it close to him as he started to drift to sleep. 

The week dragged on and soon Bokuto had to head back to practice. They were getting ready for the big championship coming up.

Bokuto bent backwards stretching his back out until it popped.

“Back hurts?” Iwaizumi questioned tossing him a volleyball. 

Bokuto caught it nodding his head, “ive been sleeping on the hardwood every night this week.”

“Every night?” Iwaizumi quirked a brow and looked at Bokuto in shock.

Bokuto chuckled, “Kuroo’s having trouble adjusting. He doesn’t want to sleep in his room, but he’s too scared to sleep in my bed. So the ground just makes sense I guess,” Bokuto spoke quieter towards the ends as he really listened to the logistics of the situation. 

He shrugged his shoulders. It made sense enough to him and Kuroo and that’s really all that matters. Though, it really was starting to mess with his back.

Later that night Bokuto ran through the usual drill, he ate whatever Kuroo had ordered and left for him, even after Bokuto had told Kuroo over and over that he needed to save his money and Bokuto could buy his own food.

Then he hopped in the shower, changed clothes and got ready for bed. He wondered if Kuroo would come tonight. He’d been coming each night around the same time, so he decided he’d wait up.

At around 3 in the morning, he heard the familiar foot steps, but Bokuto stayed on his bed.

Kuroo walked up to the door frame, and snapped his eyes open wider when he noticed Bokuto was still awake and his lights were on.

“Bo, uh-“

“Still can’t sleep?”

Kuroo looked down, obviously embarrassed. He’d always felt guilty for making Bokuto sleep on the floor with him, but even when Kuroo told him it was fine, that he could stay in his bed, Bokuto always denied it and said he wouldn’t leave Kuroo on the floor all night.

“I’m sorry,” Kuroo apologized, holding tightly onto the blanket he’d brought with him. He leaned against the wall before slumping down and sitting on the floor, “you can just stay in your bed. I promise I’m okay.” 

Bokuto stood from his bed, confidence radiating around him. Kuroo felt his stomach twinge as he walked up to him. Why’d he have to fall for him? Why couldn’t it just be admiration?

“Bokuto I said I’m okay. You can lay in your bed,” Kuroo shook his head.

“I heard you,” Bokuto crouched down to Kuroo and wrapped an arm under his legs and back, before lifting him, “but I already told you, I’m not letting you sleep on the hardwood floor.”

Kuroo panicked in the other mans hold. He wasn’t light in the slightest, at best he was only ten pounds lighter than Bokuto. But still Bokuto held him tightly and sat him on his bed. It was like a scene from a romance movie, which was something Kuroo had never thought he would have been able to get.

“Just stay in here tonight,” Bokuto said, crawling over Kuroo a bit to pull his lamp off. Kuroo couldnt help but blush. Now he was in Bokuto’s bed, and Bokuto was getting situated right next to him.

The raven quickly turned away from the other man, heart racing. He was nervous to sleep next to Bokuto. Sleeping in the same bed now would just be weird because he knew Kuroo was gay now. So why was he doing this? 

Kuroo felt a hand reach out and sit on his shoulder for a second, crushing kuroo’s thoughts that whirled in his mind.

“Don’t be scared, my room is really comfy, and as long as I’m here, no one can hurt you,” Bokuto said softly, and before Kuroo could even answer, the mans hand was falling off his shoulder and onto the bed.

Kuroo couldn’t help but chuckle. Bokuto was acting like he was the best or something. Like nobody could beat him. It was such a Bokuto thing to say.

“Why’re you’re laughing,” Bokuto asked offended. He rubbed his face with the pillow, before watching kuroo’s shoulders shake in laughter. He could help but smile too.

Then, Kuroo turned around to face Bokuto. Their noses brushed against each other at first, Kuroo hadn’t realized how close Bokuto was next to him. He leaned back a bit before speaking, “you’re just funny.”

Bokuto let out a huff, “I’m serious,” he scooted closer, wafting air closer to Kuroo. It smelt like Bokuto. Like soft pine needles and dark, warm woodsy scents. Bokuto had always smelt like that. It was probably his cologne or deodorant, but for Kuroo it was just Bokuto’s scent.

He felt his face heat up as the random urge to hug Bokuto washed over his body and he felt like he had to hold himself back from the other man.

Before he could do anything, Bokuto rolled onto his back and let out a content sigh, “see my beds much more comfy isn’t it?”

Kuroo nodded his head in agreement. If he was being honest, he was really jealous of Bokuto. He had truly gotten everything he wanted. And here Kuroo was, just struggling to get by.

When Bokuto woke up, he felt warm. There was a slight pressure on his chest that sometimes tickled his neck as well. Groggily he reached an arm up, to try and figure out what this heat conductor was without having to open his own eyes.

When he did place a hand on said heat conductor, it let out a little ‘mmph’. What? 

Bokuto furrowed his brows, before opening his eyes slowly, and coming face to face with a sleeping Kuroo. He raised his brows in surprise, but chose to keep quiet. 

Instead of shaking the other man away Bokuto looked at his face, taking full advantage of the fact that Kuroo was a mere inch away.

His skin looked smooth, and soft, kind of like a peach. He ran his finger tip across the point of kuroo’s nose. He’d always had a rather pointy nose, but Bokuto always found it cute. His black eyelashes had grown Bokuto noticed. They were a lot longer and more whimsical since high school and kuroo’s face had thinned out a lot more. Then he traveled down to kuroo’s lips. They were just lips, but they gave Bokuto that mushy gooey feeling that he’d get when he looked at something like a slice of cake he was about to devour. He pinched at the soft skin a bit, only pulling away when Kuroo moved his face in his sleep. They were soft, perhaps weirdly soft. Like maybe he used chapstick... should Bokuto be using chapstick? God he hated chapstick. It was so sticky.

Bokuto bit his lip. Kuroo was really close to him right now. If he could lean in just a little, he could probably kiss him. But he wouldn’t of course, that would be a weird thing to do! And Bokuto wasn’t gonna do weird things.

But he really wanted to. He sighed before hugging Kuroo tightly. If only he could see how much Kuroo truly meant to Bokuto. 

Bokuto swallowed hard before looking at his sleeping beauty, “so beautiful,” he whispered.

“Mm, what?” Kuroo groggily answered, squinting his eyes open.

“I said your skin looks like peach skin,” Bokuto spoke in a panic. Shit. Seriously? Peach skin? Why that? Why did he pick that of all things.

“Did you just say I look like a peach?” Kuroo furrowed his brows confused, blinking the sleep out of his eyes.

“Ah yes, well but, like a pretty peach!” Bokuto panicked. What was he saying?! Oh god.

Kuroo looked startled from the sudden compliment and lifted his head from Bokuto’s chest to make sure Bokuto was in his right mind. After a second, Kuroo looked back down at Bokuto’s chest, as if he was connecting all of the dots and thinking ‘oh my god I was sleeping on his chest’ and Bokuto could see kuroo’s face turn Tomato red.

Hah, now they were both embarrassed, Bokuto smirked. Neither of them spoke and the room became oddly tense.

“I’m gonna go shower,” Kuroo quietly answered, trying his best to hide the smile that crept up his face.

Bokuto smiled, “now your skins like a tomato,” he taunted before Kuroo walked out of the room.

Bokuto felt all the tension leave his body like a balloon. He leaned back onto the bed, feeling like a lizard that had just shed his skin. He was dangerously close to admitting his feelings right there. He really needed to be more careful.

He also really needed to stop comparing Kuroo to fruits. 

A quick glance at the clock told him that he was going to be late for volleyball, and he couldn’t help but smile at the fact that Kuroo could completely distract him from something as important as volleyball.

Just a little longer, Bokuto thought.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I worked really really hard on this chapter!! I hope u guys enjoy it as much as I did

He felt like he was being watched, from the corner of the room. His arms and legs were broken and he couldn’t move or run. The figure stood there, in the dark, but for some reason Kuroo knew exactly who it was.

Daishou, with his sadistic grin, sat in the corner, eyeing Kuroo as he laid in his bed paralyzed. Fear struck at every nerve in his body, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t scream for help.

“Kuroo,” he spoke, sending chills down kuroo’s spin.

“Kuroo,” he said again. Walking slowly out of the shadows. Suddenly the room was filling with red cloudy water, rising up to daishous knees and soon the edge of the bed.

Kuroo felt himself breaking into cold sweats, but all he could get out were slight twitches and small moans of discontent.

“Tetsurou!”

Kuroo jumped awake, and suddenly Daishou was gone and he was back in Bokuto’s room with a sweaty shirt and hot skin that trembled.

“Are you okay? Was it another nightmare?” Bokuto questioned, turning on the lamp at the edge of the bed. Kuroo looked disheveled and his hair was even crazier than usual if possible.

It’d been like this at least three times a week now. Though Kuroo had only been staying with Bokuto for a little less than a month. Kuroo had really started to progress in his recovery, and even returned to his bakery job, but nightmares would often plague his sleep and Bokuto would wake up to Kuroo whimpering in his sleep.

Bokuto leaned back and cupped a hand on kuroo’s thigh, he felt cold, but was still somehow sweating. It wasn’t unusual, but Bokuto was always stressed that Kuroo would give himself a fever if these nightmares continued.

“Let’s go eat some cereal.”

A simple, yet meaningful sentence to Kuroo. He and Bokuto both knew that it wasn’t really a midnight craving of cereal, but more of a therapy session. It had become a normal phrase, now that Kuroo had multiple nightmares every week.

The two would walk to the kitchen and Kuroo would sit at the kitchen table while Bokuto prepared two bowls of cereal.

“So,” Bokuto said, placing a bowl of cereal in front of Kuroo before scooping into his own bowl. It usually took Kuroo a bit of time, or a distraction, to get out whatever was bothering him.

“We still only have lucky charms,” Kuroo sighed. Bokuto raised his brows in confirmation that tonight he didn’t need time, but a distraction from the subject. 

“Lucky charms are delicious! Magically delicious!” Bokuto argues, mouth full of the plain cereal. He always saved the marshmallows for last, Kuroo noticed.

Kuroo scrunched his nose as some of the milk dripped from Bokuto’s lips as he devoured his bowl. But he couldn’t say he was disgusted by it. For Kuroo, that was just how Bokuto was and, for whatever reason, he loved that about him.

“They’re full of sugar you know. It’ll rot your shiny teeth,” Kuroo grinned, trying to provoke the other man, knowing he would succeed.

Bokuto shot him a glare. Not a ‘shut the hell up’ type of glare that would scare Kuroo, but a ‘leave me and my cereal alone’ glare that Kuroo actually enjoyed receiving. 

“You only say that because you eat old man cereal like Cheerios,” Bokuto scrunched his own nose as he teased the other man. Bokuto knew Kuroo only wanted to get a rise out of him because he really didn’t want to talk about whatever was bothering him. But it really didn’t bother Bokuto to be his distraction right now. He enjoyed the banter between them, and it was almost nostalgic for him. It was like a tiny bit of high school Kuroo stuck with this newer Kuroo. Kuroo 2.0 Bokuto liked to think.

“Hah, next time you go grocery shopping buy some Cheerios. I’ll pay you back,” Kuroo smiled before scooping up a spoon full of the sugary cereal and put it into his mouth.

Bokuto wanted to critique the absurd method that the other man had chosen to eat the cereal. The marshmallow was mixing with the regular cereal! It was mixing! How would he taste the marshmallow???

That could wait till later though. Right now, Kuroo was making a gloomy face at his cereal bowl and Bokuto knew that right now was the time to be a good friend, rather than a flirt.

“You ready to talk about it?”

Kuroo tensed his shoulders a bit, before dropping them again, “it’s always the same. Daishou’s watching me and the rooms filling with bloody bath water.”

He seems distant as he talks to Bokuto, almost like he’s sick of having these types of conversations. He probably is. Bokuto thinks about what to say. If he was kuroo’s boyfriend, he would kiss it all away, and tell him he was okay and that Bokuto would protect him from a god damn hurricane if he had to.

But sadly they aren’t dating and Bokuto can’t be that super hero for Kuroo. At this time, he just needed to take baby steps. He had to be kuroo’s best friend before thinking of stuff like that.

“You know,” Bokuto stopped as Kuroo pushed his cereal bowl over to Him. It must’ve been a really nasty dream tonight for him to not even wanna eat the cereal. 

“He’s not here. Daishou I mean. He isn’t here to control you anymore. Now you’ve got me!”

Kuroo glanced up, eyebrows raised.

“Well I mean not like that,” Bokuto shook his head, even though he meant it exactly like that. 

“I just mean that now you can do whatever you want. You’re free now Kuroo, you should try to keep your thoughts of him from weighing your mind down,” Bokuto explained. He scooped some cereal into his mouth, forcing himself to disregard the lack of marshmallows left due to kuroo’s horrible cereal eating dynamic. 

Kuroo nodded his head. He knew Bokuto was right, he always was, but it was hard to actually do it. Throwing out five years of your life is really hard. It wasn’t like Kuroo missed Daishou, it was just difficult for his brain to comprehend how different his life was now. It was hard for him to get away from his past because it used to be an everyday drill and suddenly now everything just screeched to a halt.

He must’ve looked really stressed because soon Bokuto was rubbing the back of kuroo’s hand with his thumb. It was almost like they were holding hands.

“Just take baby steps. Nobody said it was going to be easy,” he spoke with his mouth full again and Kuroo wondered why he was always rushing to each as much cereal as he could. It’s not like they were going anywhere.

Even with the gross amount of food filling Bokuto’s cheeks, Kuroo couldn’t shake the warm feeling he got in his chest after hearing Bokuto’s words. He always knew what to say, and when to say it. Kuroo almost believed that the muscular man could read his mind, but it was probably just the fact that Kuroo wore his heart on his sleeve, and you could always see when he was upset.

“You know, almond milk is a lot better for you. With the amount of cereal you eat, I think it might be a good alternative,” Kuroo smirked, deciding that he’d had enough of his own drama for one night.

Bokuto sipped the remaining milk from the bottom of the bowl before setting it down to speak.

“You know I’ve been waiting for you to say something snarky. Let’s talk about your lack of skill when it comes to saving the marshmallows for the end. That’s the best part and I have to say I’m actually a bit offended that you just casually mix them with the bland pieces of cereal.”

Kuroo could only laugh at Bokuto’s serious face. What a dork.

He was in love with a dork.

“Bokuto, Dont you think your pushing yourself too much?” Iwaizumi questioned, pulling the ball from Bokuto’s grip.

He couldn’t really deny it, because in all honesty he was. He always did, but this time nobody was gonna stop him like they did in high school. So Bokuto often over exerted himself.

“Nah I’m fine,” Bokuto shook his head, and grabbed another ball before throwing it up and spiking it. He just felt like there was a lot on his plate. With everything going on with Kuroo, and the fact that nationals was just around the corner, Bokuto felt extremely stressed out. 

“Is it something to do with Kuroo? You know you can always talk to me,” Iwaizumi asked, stopping a rogue ball with his foot. Practice had ended over fifteen minutes ago and he was just waiting for Oikawa to finish showering. 

Bokuto knew that he could talk to Iwaizumi about it. But if he did, Iwaizumi would tell Oikawa and Oikawa would end up telling Kuroo, and then Kuroo would probably freak out and say he can’t date Bokuto because he’s not ready to date again, and then it would ruin their relationship.

“I’m sure you’ve got a busy life Iwaizumi, don’t worry about me,” Bokuto said, falling down from another spike with a grunt. He wasn’t really lying by telling his friend that. It was just easier to keep Bokuto’s thoughts to himself, that way he wouldn’t stress other people out. 

“Tsk,” hajime shook his head before shoving his hands in his pocket. He hated that Bokuto did that. Bokuto was all about being the best, and that meant that most of the time he would rather act like nothing was bothering him than admit that something was wrong. 

“There’s a party tomorrow night,” he said instead, “you should come, and get your mind of things.”

Bokuto started to pick up the volleyballs that collected on the floor from his practice. His legs felt weak and his arms were sore and honestly the last thing he wanted was some sort of therapy from someone that wasn’t Kuroo.

“Hajime chill out,” he snapped a bit. Iwaizumi’s eyes widened at Bokuto’s shifted tone, but soon frowned at him. Bokuto got like this often, and he’d started to notice it in college. Iwaizumi Hated when he pushed him away. It was just annoying.

Bokuto could feel him glaring bullets into his back as he put the balls away, “I don’t need to get my mind off anything.”

“Your tone proves otherwise,” he refuted. “I’m just trying to be a good friend. Cool your head and let me know your answer,” Iwaizumi said before walking out of the gym, leaving Bokuto alone to clean up his mess.

“Ugh, Kuroo my body achesss,” Bokuto whined as he dragged himself through the grocery store, still in his practice wear. Kuroo guilted Bokuto into going to the grocery store, saying something about an inconsistent diet isn’t good for an athlete or something stupid like that.

Kuroo pushed the cart, feeling absolutely no pity for the man, “you said we could go shopping together,” Kuroo frowned or, in Bokuto’s opinion, pouted. That’s how he was able to get Bokuto into the car with him in the first place. He just couldn’t say no to kuroo’s pouty face.

But it did really hurt to walk through the stores, and Kuroo was starting to notice. He wasn’t some asshole who would make Bokuto walk around if he was hurting.

“Did you overdo it today at practice,” Kuroo stopped the cart in the middle of the isle, placing a knowing look on his face.

Bokuto didn’t meet his gaze, instead he grabbed a bag of protein powder and set it in the cart. Kuroo leaned one hand on the cart and eyed the other closely, waiting for him to crack under his gaze.

After a few glances to see if Kuroo was still staring, which he was, Bokuto groaned, “okay fine. Yes I did.”

He waited for kuroo’s lecture, holding the hem of his T-shirt that probably smelt like sweat. Ever since high school, Kuroo always took it to heart when Bokuto over practiced, and he never really knew why. But each time he stayed a little too late, Kuroo would come get him, because he somehow just knew that Bokuto was over working his body.

“You know I hate it when you do that,” Kuroo muttered before finally deciding to push the cart forward. It just made him feel paranoid, like at any moment Bokuto would collapse on the floor and hurt himself more seriously than ever before.

Bokuto walked closely next to the other, trying his best not to notice the vague feeling of pins and needles coursing through his arms and legs. Maybe he really had gone too far this time. He felt really tired and every once in a while he felt like he would pass out.

After the third time that Bokuto leaned against a shelf and Kuroo pretended not to notice, the raven had decided that he had to do something. 

“Get in the cart.”

“What? No why-“

“Get in the cart before you make me upset,” Kuroo snapped at Bokuto, who took the hint rather quickly, and crawled into the metal shopping cart.

“People are gonna look at us funny,” Bokuto glanced around, seeing if anyone noticed the two meter man crunched up in a shopping cart, hugging a bag of chips.

“Believe me, they’re probably looking more at the guy with the bruises and scratches on his neck than the adult in the shopping cart,” Kuroo spoke. He knew that Bokuto had tensed at the mention of his injuries, because it was a bit intense for him to bring up in the middle of the tortilla isle. It almost surprised Kuroo himself. He hadn’t really talked about his bruises much, trying instead to forget that it ever happened instead of accepting it.

Bokuto decided to change the subject, feeling bad for even talking about getting weird stares. “Are you sure you’re gonna be able to push me... I’m a lot bigger than you now.”

Kuroo quirked a brow, “you aren’t that much bigger,” he smiled as he shoved the cart that was maybe a little too heavy.

“Then why’s my shirt so baggy on you,” Bokuto smirked. He’s noticed as soon as they walked into the grocery store that Kuroo put on one of Bokuto’s shirts. He wasn’t sure if it was a mix up, or if Kuroo just wanted to borrow it, but either way it gave Bokuto butterflies to see him in it.

Kuroo looked at him confused, “you’re shirt?” He questioned before looking down and— oh this is definitely not his shirt. This is actually one of Bokuto’s.

“I mean unless you went to fukurodani,” Bokuto shrugged, feeling his muscles relax as he sat in the cart. 

He watched as the ravens face contorted into that of an embarrassed little kid. He must’ve not even noticed. It was lowkey disappointing that Kuroo hadn’t done it on purpose.

He tried to reconcile the shift in their conversation, “it looks good on you. Don’t worry about it, I’m not upset.”

That made kuroo’s face redden even more, because one: oh my god he’s in Bokuto’s t shirt and two: Bokuto just said he looked good in it. For a minute, Kuroo was positive that his brain had gone into shut down mode or something because he couldn’t find the words to say and his body just wasn’t moving. He hoped Bokuto hadn’t noticed or else Kuroo might have to explain how he’s been in love with him for five years, in the Tortilla isle.

He shook his head and rubbed his face, trying to get the stupid blood to rush back to his body, before pushing the cart into the milk isle.

“Do not,” Bokuto demanded as he watched Kuroo reach for the almond milk.

“What?” Kuroo asked, even though he knew exactly what he was doing.

“We are not getting that! It’s offensive!”

Kuroo laughed, “offensive to who?”

“Uh I dunno ME? And cows everywhere,” Bokuto said, motioning to the rest of the jugs of milk that Kuroo could’ve grabbed.

Kuroo put the almond milk in the cart and laughed when Bokuto physically cringed at it and moved away from it like it would burn his skin.

“Dude Cows are probably thanking me,” he explained, “I’m giving their titties a rest by drinking almond milk.” He gave an apologetic look to the woman who held a toddler in her cart as he pushed past them with a twenty three year old man in his.

Bokuto crossed his arms, “I’m so mad at you right now,” he faked. He didn’t really care... well not that much. He honestly just enjoyed the bickering.

“Dude it taste the same, what’s the big deal,” Kuroo rolled his eyes in Bokuto’s face, but smiled hard enough for him to know that this was all still a joke.

“I just cannot believe the type of person you’ve become,” Bokuto smiled shaking his head. 

Kuroo sighed, the mood shifting ever so slightly, “yeah me either,” he half joked, but Bokuto could tell that deep down he was serious in his answer. 

Bokuto reached from the cart, deciding that he really didn’t mind buying both, since they were too stubborn to agree, and grabbed a box of regular milk too. After that, he reorganized himself in the grocery cart, stacking items into a food castle. (Or if you have elite humor, a food pyramid).

He let Kuroo push him around the isles and then to the check out. He handed Kuroo items to scan, “oh by the way, there’s a house party tomorrow night. You wanna go?”

Kuroo continued scanning. He really didn’t want to go, but he felt like if he told Bokuto that, it might make the other man feel bad and then end up not going as well, which Kuroo really didn’t want to do. It just brought up bad memories from last time.

“Uh sure, I can go,” he said before pulling out his wallet.

“Woah woah woah, I can pay,” Bokuto struggled to get out of the cart, and grab his wallet.

Kuroo smiled, “I got it don’t worry.”

“But Kuroo, you’re only working part time, and you should be saving. I really don’t mi-“

Kuroo patted Bokuto’s bristle-y hair that was starting to fall from practice, “Bo, I live with you for free. The least I can do is pay for some food.”

Bokuto leaned back in defeat. He guessed it made sense, but he still didn’t like it. It made him feel guilty, especially when he’s making as much money as a damn surgeon, and kuroo’s making the same as a high school student.

He stared at Kuroo as he finished his transaction and then started pushing again. Bokuto really hoped that Kuroo wasn’t stressing on money now.

“Oh,” Kuroo turned his face down to look at Bokuto’s, “thank you for coming with me. I always get really nervous to do things like this alone now.”

Bokuto nodded his head, but in his mind he couldn’t decided whether it was morally wrong for him to feel like an arrow dug right through his heart when Kuroo spoke about something so heartbreaking.

When Bokuto got home and helped Kuroo put the groceries away, his first thought was that he needed a shower. Badly. He was sticky and sore and he knew that the smell of sweat on the car ride home was radiating from him, which is painfully embarrassing as it is, but even more embarrassing when he smelt that bad in front of his crush.

After everything was put away, he booked it to the shower, ripping off the sweaty clothes and literally melting under the warm comforting water. He really hoped Kuroo had somehow lost his sense of smell, because god was Bokuto sweaty. He groaned as the water hit his back, and dropped down his legs, taking away all the hurt from today.

When he finally deemed himself worthy of the outside world again, he walked out of the bathroom, towel tightly wrapped around his waist as he walked to his dresser, only stopping when he noticed Kuroo standing in front of the mirror with his shirt off and bruises exposed.

The raven hadn’t noticed Bokuto had gotten out of the bathroom yet, so he stood quietly by the door and allowed Kuroo to finish whatever it was he was doing. 

Bokuto watched Kuroo look at himself in the mirror, rubbing at the purple skin almost like he was trying to wipe it away like it was make up. He could see the look in Kuroo’s eyes. One that wanted nothing more than for the marks to be gone. He traced at the nail marks too, and Bokuto sat there, taking it all in silently. 

It wasn’t like he’d never seen it before. How could he over look such painful marks on kuroo’s skin. Feeling guilty, Bokuto’s eyes trailed down to kuroo’s back. There was bruising there too, but Bokuto didn’t wanna think about it. Thinking about it, was painful because it meant it was real. It meant that Kuroo really was slammed against a bathtub hard enough to press bruises against his fair skin. 

And Bokuto wasn’t there to save him. He walked closer to Kuroo waiting for the other to notice him.

“Oh hey,” Kuroo quickly straighten his body out. He watched Bokuto through the mirror, he looked sad.

“I was just changing my shirt,” Kuroo lied. Of course he did, because pointing it out was too much trouble. Bokuto was already oddly quiet, and a little too naked for just friends, so there was no sense making it such a big deal.

He jumped as he felt the man trace kuroo’s spine, wincing as he pressed at the sensitive purple marks. Bokuto’s thumb slid up from his lower back, slowly making his way up toward kuroo’s neck. 

The two locked eyes for a second. The air felt tense, and something was definitely off Kuroo thought. It was calm but it felt like his body was longing for the touch, like maybe Bokuto’s fingers also longed to touch his skin. It felt as if the muscular man was silently apologizing as he traced the marks, and Kuroo could feel it.

Kuroo felt his stomach jump as Bokuto slid an arm around his waist. What was happening? Was this still all platonic? It couldn’t be. It shouldn’t be. Kuroo didn’t want it to be like this, he wanted to turn around and kiss Bokuto.

His other arm made his way to touch kuroo’s face. His finger tips felt calloused and familiar, the same as they were in high school. Kuroo’s heart was screaming. 

Please do it.

Kiss me and make it better.

Please Koutarou.

The man rested his head on kuroo’s shoulder, biting back a smile as he noticed how he no longer had to push himself up on his toes to be kuroo’s height. He couldn’t believe he was even doing this. But it felt so right. Even if he had to hold back and keep it friendly, he couldn’t help but imagine what could’ve been. How he could’ve let his hands roam all over kuroo’s skin, and kiss every sad part of Kuroo away.

But Kuroo wasn’t ready. Bokuto knew this. The man needed to heal. If the bruises weren’t fully gone, then it had to be way to soon to start making moves.

Nobody said he couldn’t drop hints though. He let a sigh escape his lips.

“It’s kinda funny,” Bokuto started. He spoke low and soft, squeezing Kuroo a bit. The mans skin was so cold. Made Bokuto wonder if he could hug him long enough to warm him.

Kuroo could barely even function. How could he when his unrequited love of five years was hugging him like this. It was torture for him. He wanted it to be more.

“Funny?” He managed to let out, trying to ignore how shakey his voice was from nerves. Calm down. This is just a friend comforting a friend. Nothing more.

“When I get bruises, I always look so ugly,” Bokuto smiled softly at Kuroo through the mirror, or at least he tried to. It kind of just turned into a big goofy grin because he literally didn’t know how to be subtle, even if he tried.

Kuroo chuckled a little. He was wrong, Bokuto could never look ugly, even if he wanted to.

“But you still look beautiful. Even with the bruises and scratches,” he finished, butterflies flicking at the inside of his stomach as Bokuto openly told Kuroo such sweet words.

The ravens eyes widened. He just called him beautiful. Bokuto, Koutarou just told Kuroo he looked beautiful. His skin felt tingly. When was the last time anyone had ever called him something like that?

“Y-you think I’m beautiful?” Kuroo questioned, simply because he wanted to hear it come out of Bokuto’s mouth again, he turned to look at Bokuto who’s head still rested on kuroo’s shoulder.

Their faces were inches apart and Bokuto had came to the conclusion that God was a painful son of a bitch for taunting him like this.

“I always have,” he breathed, feeling kuroo’s breath against his lips. He could kiss him. All he would have to do is lean in a little bit more and-

Kuroo’s phone started to ring, and before Bokuto knew it the moment was over. Both of them looked at each other, blushes spread across their faces as the phone vibrated against the wood of the dresser. Kuroo quickly snapped his head back, leaving the warmth of Bokuto’s hold and answering it.

“Hey Oikawa,” he greeted and Bokuto cursed that stupid man for interrupting such an intense moment. It left him feeling... things. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt more conflicted now than ever before. Kuroo was about to kiss him, so he was into him right? He wondered if he should ask, but quickly pushed that thought away. He couldn’t. 

He’s not ready to date, he’s not ready to date, he’s not ready to date!

Bokuto chanted this over and over in his mind. He felt like he could go crazy over shit like this. Then he had a realization, that this is exactly what he did to Kuroo in highschool. He said he needed to focus on volleyball, and Kuroo ended up pushing Bokuto away. What if Bokuto did the same. He didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want to lose Kuroo again.

He stood there in the middle of the room, silently stressing himself out over the stupid concept of love and how easy it was to fall into it, and how hard it was to climb out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all ever watch haikyu and almost tear up because ur not ready to say good bye to Bokuto and kuroo? Or r u guys normal


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance... my babies r all fighting.

Bokuto regretted inviting Kuroo to this damn party. Not because Kuroo was annoying or because he didn’t want him there. 

But literally everyone was all over him. 

This was one of those loud music, pool party, drinking parties. The type of party that played music that made other people horny or wanna grind on other people. And people were definitely taking advantage of that factor with Kuroo. 

There were lots of girls in bikinis or guys in really short shorts dancing near the alcohol area, which happened to be where Kuroo was too. Bokuto watched as a boy with bleach blonde hair grinded his body up against the ravens side. It drove him crazy. Bokuto was beyond drunk, he knew it. He also knew that as soon as he stood up he would feel it kick in ten times stronger. It was all kuroo’s fault. He was just letting all of these people flirt with him, because he was too nice to say no. So everytime Bokuto saw something he didn’t like, he just impulsively drank more, hoping it would make him less up tight about it.

“You good?” Iwaizumi’s voice rang through Bokuto’s mind. Noises sounded like those weird slinkies that Bokuto would play with as a kid. 

Bokuto mumbled something incoherent before leaning his face against the cold counter top.

“woah I think you might’ve drank to much,” Iwaizumi shoots Oikawa a look, and Oikawa tried to get the can out of Bokuto’s hand.

“Stop treating me like a child,” he snapped back, gripping the beer tighter and standing up, if you could even call it that.

“Bokuto what is wrong with you?” Oikawa asked eyes wide, “you never used to be so mean, is something going on?”

Bokuto cringed. He knew he was being mean, but everything was just putting him in a bad mood. It was frustrating to see Kuroo like this with other people. He looked at Kuroo from across the room. He was smiling and dancing with a few other people. The raven wore a red t shirt with some ripped black jeans that were loosely cuffed at his ankle. Bokuto thought it was extremely cute.

Kuroo looked back over to see his friends, and waved good bye as he left the crowd of people, and then back to Bokuto, Oikawa and Iwaizumi.

Oikawa leaned on Kuroo, wrapping his arms around kuroo’s neck tightly, “you’re boy toy is being mean to me.”

Kuroo gave him a weird look, like he didn’t really understand. Oikawa groaned, “Bokuto is drunk off his ass kuroo. Help us out, he won’t stop drinking.”

Oh, Kuroo thought. It shouldve been obvious, by the way Bokuto’s shoulders slouched, and his head dangled. Kuroo almost felt bad for not watching him. He just assumed Bokuto could handle his alcohol.

He placed a hand on the toned mans back, rubbing soft circles into it, “you doing okay bo?”

He went to lean down and talk to his friend when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Uh hey, this may be super forward... but I think you’re hella sexy man,” a man with blonde hair and piercing smirked at kuroo. He was short, much shorter than Kuroo or Bokuto.

“Thanks,” Kuroo smiled. He hoped that by responding with one word, it would be enough to tell the man that he had no interest in him.

“I’m terushima, what’s your name,” the man said instead.

Great. He looked back at bokuto who was glaring daggers at him, “Kuroo.” He answered simply, standing in front of Bokuto. 

Bokuto hated this even more, but when he went to take another swig, Kuroo yanked the can away and drank the rest. Bokuto frowned, and turned his head to lay on the counter, facing away from Kuroo, who was talking to some stupid guy, with stupid piercing, who was stupid hot. 

He would totally bottom. There’s no way he would fuck Kuroo, absolutely no way. So Kuroo wouldn’t date him, Bokuto reassured his drunk mind. It upset him to think of Kuroo with anyone other than himself.

Instead he tried his best to focus on two men who were talking in his direction. He couldn’t help but evesdrop.

“Hey look at that guy over there”

Hm? Bokuto caught interest as they pointed behind him a bit.

“Tsk how trashy, he has bruises all over his neck”

What... the fuck.

“Yeah I bet he likes it rough. What a slut.”

Before he could hear the rest of what they were saying, drunk Bokuto was on his feet in kuroo’s defense.

“Hey what the fuck did you say!” Bokuto slurred. His voice echoed through the room earning a few glances.

Kuroo turned his head and quickly realized he would have to cut his conversation short, “look you’re really cute and if I wasn’t so attached to that guy over there I would probably fuck you, but I’m in love with the man trying to pick a fight over there.”

Terushima glanced over at Bokuto, “Ah good choice. Lemme know if you two ever need a hand in the bedroom,” he smiled.

Kuroo shook his head and laughed before turning back to Bokuto.

“Get off me man,” the guy said pushing Bokuto away.

Bokuto stumbled back before pushing forward again, up in the other mans face, “you don’t know what the fuck he’s been through.”

Terushima raised his brows, “hey you might not wanna get involved, that looks like it’s about to be a fight.”

Kuroo then looked over to Iwaizumi and Oikawa who stared at him in disbelief. This poor couple always has to put up with Kuroo and Bokuto’s shit. Though, Kuroo did put up with a lot of oikawas shit, so he called it even.

The three of them sped over to Bokuto who was about to throw his fist at the other man.

“Chill the hell out man, we were just sizing him up.” The much more drunk friend said.

“Yeah and don’t worry, we don’t want you’re trash, you can keep it!” The man yelled.

Bokuto gritted his teeth. He was gonna regret this in the morning, he just knew it. But he wouldn’t let them talk about his Kuroo like that. He wasn’t trash. He was the opposite. He was like the greatest thing Bokuto had ever seen.

He felt his blood boil, and in a fit of anger he pulled back his fist and—

“Bokuto no!”

It all happened in the blink of an eye. Or maybe that was because Bokuto was so wasted. He felt like his mind went blank and all he could see was white, but when his hand slammed against a familiar feeling, he felt the world stop.

Bokuto started with wide eyes at the sight in front of him. Kuroo had gotten in front of the other man, and blocked Bokuto’s punch from hitting him. 

But the punch definitely hit something. Someone. Kuroo’s eyes held fear and Bokuto fist connected with his two arms that shielded his face. It made Bokuto feel sick. He almost hit Kuroo. He was Daishou. He was turning into Daishou because he just hit Kuroo. His thoughts rolled through his mind so intensely that the room felt like it was spinning. His fist was still sitting connected to kuroo’s arms and kuroo’s face still looked terrified.

Bokuto was too drunk for this shit.

He felt sick.

Or maybe he was sick.

He felt himself hiccup, and before he could even stop himself he was throwing up all over kuroo’s incredibly cute outfit.

“Oh god,” Kuroo groaned as he grabbed under Bokuto’s arms and yanked him up. If not he would’ve fallen on the ground. 

Everyone in the kitchen was staring at them and Terushima was holding back a laugh. 

“Bokuto what the fuck?” Iwaizumi growled.

“Did you just hit Tetsu?” Oikawa yelled pulling at the man.

Bokuto could feel Kuroo shielding him from the heat of his friends, and dragging him down the hall, to one of the many bathrooms of the penthouse. 

“I’m so sorry,” Bokuto slurred at kuroo. He started slumping down onto the cold tile floor, feeling like the worst human being alive.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Kuroo cooed, feeling even worse for Bokuto. He watched as the male made a face before turning to throw up more in the toilet. Kuroo quickly took off his now ruined t shirt and got to the ground, rubbing circles into Bokuto’s back.

Bokuto coughed and then leaned back into kuroo’s arm, Before pushing Kuroo away from him.

“Why would you get in front of me! I could’ve hit you!”

Kuroo caught himself with his hands before standing up in his own defense, “I didn’t want you to get in trouble!”

“So you wanted me to hit you instead?”Bokuto stood as well, but was still far to drunk to stand without swaying.

“No of course not, but you’re too much of an idiot to hold yourself back-“ Kuroo spat, growing very annoyed with how Bokuto was acting. Kuroo just saved his ass from a week of probation.

“They were talking shit about you! I was standing up for you!” Bokuto slammed his hands against the wall. His hands sat on either side of Kuroo’s face. He looked angry.

“I don’t need you to stand up for me,” Kuroo lowered his voice, but couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. What had they been saying? Probably something about the bruises.

“Yes you do!” Bokuto slammed his fist at the wall. Kuroo couldn’t understand why he was so angry.

“No I don’t!” Kuroo pushed at Bokuto who stumbled back willingly. He was drunk for sure, but he knew not to make Kuroo feel like he was unsafe or cornered.

“Then why’d you let Daishou hit you! Why? Tell me!” Bokuto said, in a lower voice, looking down at kuroo’s vans.

“For you, you jerk! He hit me because he knew that I would never care about him, the way I cared for you!” Kuroo shouted aggravated by this entire conversation. It was always the same shit. How could Bokuto not see it? How did he not know that Kuroo was so in love with him. Everyone else could see, so why could he?

Bokuto snapped his face back up to look at Kuroo. His face was serious and his thin eye brows were knitted together in worry. Or maybe angry.

“I’m sorry,” Bokuto choked. He felt horrible for even bringing shit like this up. He was suppose to be comforting Kuroo, not scaring him, or bringing up stuff about Daishou. He felt like the absolute worst.

“Bo it’s fine,” Kuroo shook off the apology, partly because he really just wanted to stop talking about it all together. He didn’t wanna talk about Daishou and he didn’t want to talk about bokuto and his feelings. Not when Bokuto was like this. 

“No I’m so sorry,” Bokuto started to cry. He was drunk and he knew that’s why he couldn’t stop crying, but deep down he also felt disappointed in himself for being the reason that Kuroo was always hurt. He felt his legs turn to jello as he started to slump to the floor.

“No no no, Bokuto Dont cry. It’s okay,” Kuroo followed the man down to the ground, pulling him into a hug. He was very dramatic when he was drunk. Kinda like his emo mode x10.

“It’s my fault your always hurting,” he cried into kuroo’s shirt.

“That’s not true,” Kuroo hugged him tightly.

“It’s not?” Bokuto looked up. His eyes were pleading for an answer.

Kuroo smiled at the drunk man, patting his hand onto of Bokuto’s stiff, gelled hair. “No Bokuto. You’re one of the reasons I can wake up in the morning and feel okay. Without you I’d be a wreck.”

The two were quiet. Both on the floor staring at each other. Kuroo watched as Bokuto’s body swayed a bit to close to his face to be friendly. Not that he was complaining.

Well maybe a little since his breath smelt like alcohol and throw up.

“You looked so scared of me,” Bokuto said looking into the soft brown orbs that Kuroo called eyes.

Kuroo smiled a little, “I was just surprised.”

This seemed to give Bokuto some confidence, but Kuroo could tell he was definitely still drunk, and he’d probably be more upset about this in the morning.

“C’mere,” Kuroo said, opening his arms for a big bear hug. He wouldn’t say that this was exactly taking advantage of his drunkness, but Bokuto would probably be more likely to feed into kuroo’s gay crush when he’s drunk than sober. 

Bokuto crawled into the other mans hold, smushing his nose deep into kuroo’s neck. He felt safe in kuroo’s arms, even though they were skinny and held no muscles. He felt like all of his problems would melt away.

The two sat there quietly for a while. Bokuto was finally feeling a little more sober. Now it was just a light buzz, the type where your drunk enough that you shouldn’t drive, but not drunk enough to get into a fist fight.

He breathed in deeply. Kuroo smelt nice. It was sugary, like candy maybe.

You smell like candy.”

Kuroo blushed, and felt his heart do a little dance. “Thank you,” he smiled and bit his lip.

“I love you,” Bokuto slurred.

Love? Bokuto loves him? Him being Kuroo Tetsurou? No way. There was no way Kuroo was hearing that right.

Bokuto felt his stomach panic after saying that. Kuroo would push him away at any second now. That’s why he was being so quiet.

Kuroo opened his mouth to speak but Bokuto cut him off.

“You’re a good friend.” Bokuto said.  
“I love you too.” Kuroo whispered.

Wait... what?

Bokuto pulled back, “huh? I missed it.”

Kuroo shook his head embarrassed. Of course it was just a friendship type of love. He swallowed nervously, “I said you’re a good friend too.”

Both of them looked at each other sadly, but neither could tell that deep down, they felt the same.

Bokuto woke up with a raging head ache, horrible breath and a stomach ache. He groaned, grabbing his stomach and turning to his side. It was the type of stomach ache that hurt like a bitch but you didn’t have to throw up, so you could only sit there and let it fade. 

He looked at the nightstand and lamp. He barely remembered even coming home last night, but he could remember getting into a fight with Kuroo, and that only made his stomach hurt more. The bathroom door creaked open revealing a very pretty, and clean, Kuroo. He had a towel wrapped around his waist, and water droplets clung to his skin. His bed head was damp but already taking form again.

“Hey, how do you feel?”

Bokuto groaned, and put his arm over his eyes, “I’m sorry.”

Kuroo chuckled and sat on his side of the bed, still in just a towel. Bokuto couldn’t help but peak through his arm to see him. 

“Like I said a million times before it’s okay,” the man smiled at Bokuto, pulling at his arm to look at him.

The muscular mans face heated up from embarrassment, “god I made a fool of myself in front of everyone.”

He really did too. Picking fights, yelling at Kuroo, crying in front of Kuroo, being a jerk to his friends. The list could go on.

He felt familiar fingers entangle into his hair, combing through last nights gel. He really needed to shower.

“Maybe to everyone else,” Kuroo said, kicking his legs onto the bed. 

He was trying to comfort Bokuto, but it wasn’t working. Instead he was taunting him. He was literally sitting there in just a towel. There was no way Bokuto could hold back for long.

“Not me though,” Kuroo finished with a grin.

Bokuto let out a huff, “why not you?”

“I just... I appreciate the fact that you were trying to stand up for me,” Kuroo said, taking his hands away from Bokuto’s head. He was probably dry enough to get dressed now.

As he started to shift off the bed, Bokuto felt his body lean forward to wrap an arm tightly around kuroo’s waist, pulling him back onto the bed. He could hear the rustle of kuroo’s towel as the man panicked to keep it on. Bokuto didn’t like that, but he had no right to be taking off kuroo’s towel.

Instead he hugged at the mans waist, face dangerously close to kuroo’s dick, not that he was complaining. He still smelt like candy, and it made Bokuto’s mouth water. 

Melting into the hug, he allowed kuroo’s body to comfort him. The same way it always did. It was just easier than talking. Their vibes just matched. Bokuto couldn’t imagine how he would be able to comfort himself ever again, if he didn’t have Kuroo. The boy really spoiled him too much. Maybe that was because Kuroo was too polite to say no, but Bokuto liked to believe that Kuroo wanted to hold him too.

“Oikawa and Iwaizumi are gonna be mad at me today,” Bokuto sighed. He had practice today, and he knew that they would have something to say about last night. They had every right to do so, but Bokuto didn’t want to hear it. He blamed it on the fact that He was jealous of those two, and their perfect relationship, and their volleyball dynamic. Bokuto knows not to act like that, but lately it just felt like they were rubbing his failure with Kuroo, in his face.

Once again, Kuroo patted Bokuto’s head, “all you can do is apologize... though that’s probably really hard for yo-“

“Hah?!” Bokuto snapped his head up at Kuroo, “I apologize all the time!”

“You are literally the king of never admitting that your wrong,” Kuroo laughed.

Bokuto grabbed kuroo’s leg tightly and shook it, “shut up!” He joked. Kuroo was right, he hated apologizing, but if he agreed with him, Bokuto wouldn’t be right.

He looked up to Kuroo to see a blush splashed across his face, and then back down to see what he was so embarrassed about. He was holding onto Kuroo’s bare thigh, and his legs were a little open. The towel just barely covered his crotch and bokutos hand was dangerously close for two friends. 

He looked back up to kuroo’s face, merely centimeters away. He was gonna kiss him. Bokuto had decided that he just needed to do it, and if Kuroo pushed him away afterwards he would apologize. 

Bokuto leaned forward a bit, nerves ripping through his head as he got closer and closer.

Until Kuroo pushed him away.

Ouch.

“Hey I’m gonna be late for work,” Kuroo spoke frantically as he stood up and fixed his towel, which was falling down. He quickly walked out of Bokuto’s room and into his to grab some clothes.

Holy shit, Kuroo thought. He looked like he was about to kiss him. If Kuroo hadn’t known any better he probably would’ve leaned in to kiss him too. The raven felt his entire face turn beet red as he changed his clothes.

Bokuto sighed back in his own room. So that’s how it was. Kuroo really lost feelings for Bokuto. 

Practice was a drag. 

Bokuto didn’t want to go from the minute he woke up, but when he got there he regretted coming all together. Today was the last practice before The tournament, and everyone was a little on edge. Oikawa and Iwaizumi didn’t say much to Bokuto at practice, but he blamed that on the rising anxiety that danced through the whole gym. Everyone was nervous, because it was a huge deal.

And Bokuto was falling behind. His receivers were sloppy, his serves were barely making it over, and his spikes got so bad that Oikawa had to stop setting to him. He was so unfocused and the thought of that made him feel even more uneasy.

Of course Oikawa and Iwaizumi were able to perfect some new quick attack that they had been working on, and the coach congratulated them on it, Rightfully so, because it was an amazing attack.

When practice ended, Bokuto took out the balls again. Deciding that he really did need to practice more. He couldn’t be bad at love and volleyball.

He spiked a few, served a few and after a while, the familiar tingle in his legs came back to him. Kuroo would be upset when he found out that Bokuto was overdoing it. He shook his head and grabbed another ball. Thinking about Kuroo right now only made him more upset, and that made him wanna practice harder to get the feeling to go away.

“What’s going on with you? I’m not letting you over work yourself again,” Iwaizumi came out of nowhere, face angry as he shoved the ball out of Bokuto’s hand. Oikawa was behind him, but he didn’t dare say a word when hajime was like this.

“Iwaizumi don’t do this. Not now,” Bokuto shook his head. He didn’t want to start a fight with his best friend, and he knew if Iwaizumi continued, he’d lose his cool.

“Somebody has to, you’re acting like a child,” Iwaizumi snapped back shaking his head and crossing his arms.

“Just fuck off,” Bokuto flung his arm out, increasingly getting annoyed with iwaizumi’s words. Probably because right now they were extremely true.

Oikawa stepped in, frowning at Bokuto “Are you kidding me? Don’t talk to him like that!” It was so unlike the two of them to be so angry at each other. As far as Oikawa knew, Bokuto and Iwa-Chan were best friends.

“Then get off my ass! I don’t need you guys to baby me,” Bokuto turned around from the basket full of balls.

Iwaizumi bit back “Obviously you do because when we aren’t around you’re starting fights and hitting victims of abuse-“

Bokuto grabbed the collar of iwaizumi’s shirt, yanking it tightly and making the other man stumble forward, before he too stood his ground. 

“It was an accident and you know it.”

“Iwa-Chan! Bokuto let go,” Oikawa got in the middle of the two of them, which was a dangerous bet considering the two of them  
Where literal meat cakes. Oikawa fidgeted with Bokuto’s hand but his grasp wouldnt let up.

“Why can’t you just man up and ask him out. Don’t be such a loser,” Hajime yelled, for one last blow to Bokuto’s ego.

“Stop fighting,” Oikawa broke the two friends apart. Iwaizumi wanted to feel bad for scaring oikawa, but he knew his boyfriend could handle it.

They were silent, neither wanting to admit that they took it too far. It was unlike Bokuto and Iwaizumi to pick fights with each other. They usually got along so well. They’d known each other since university.

“Hajime’s right Bokuto. Stop playing with kuroo’s emotions,” Oikawa looked down at the ground. He didn’t want to pick sides with either of them, because in all honesty they were both acting like high school kids. Iwaizumi should know better than to get Bokuto riled up and Bokuto should know by now that Iwaizumi only wants to help.

So he picked kuroo’s side. Swallowing hard before speaking, he looked to see if Bokuto was looking. He really looked defeated, like he had no idea what direction to go, or who he could even talk to about it.

“Being in love is hard and scary,” Oikawa started. It was hard for him to be serious, but he felt bad for Bokuto. “But just because you’re scared doesn’t mean you should be reckless.”

Bokuto let out a tsk before turning to leave the two. He knew they were right and he hated it. He hated all of this. He hated how he treated Kuroo at the party and he hated the fact that his friends had to baby him like this. Why was it so difficult? Couldn’t he just be normal? He was good at speaking his mind so why was he struggling so much.

He rubbed his face aggressively. This was all too much, and he knew his breaking point was going to come soon, very soon.

He had to tell Kuroo how he felt or his entire life would be fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys... one more chapter


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh!!! Last chapterrrr

Bokuto eased down into the bed, stretching his long, tired limbs. Kuroo was already resting on his side, probably sleeping. The tv lit the room up, just enough to see the raven haired man.

Bokuto rolled to face the other way, sulking. Practice was such a buzzkill today. It was always difficult for Bokuto to see the good in himself, especially in volleyball. Sometimes he believes that’s why he always tried so hard. To make sure he was really the best. It was practices like tonight though, that really made him question if all that time and energy spent on volleyball was even worth it. He swallowed hard and lifted his head so he could straighten out his pillow.

He let out a huff, but freezed halfway through, when he felt the bed move a bit and felt a cold hand on his warm back. He shuttered a bit from the touch. Even over his shirt, kuroo’s hands were Ice cold.

“What’s the matter,” Kuroo asked. You could hear the sleep fresh in his voice as he let out a small, almost silent moan of exhaustion. 

“Ah, I’m sorry, did I wake you,” Bokuto asked, feigning happiness.

The bed shift a bit more, and Bokuto knew Kuroo was nudging closer. He wasn’t sure if he was happy or sad about it. He wanted to be happy, because it’s Kuroo and he loves him, but was he really allowed to love Kuroo? Even when he said he wasn’t ready to date, or that he may never want to date again. Even after everything that Bokuto did at the party?

His cold hand still remained on Bokuto’s back, “no it’s okay. What’s going on Bo?”

The man started rub small circles into Bokuto’s back. His words sounded so sincere, like he really, truly cared about Bokuto. 

Bokuto smiled sadly. He opened his mouth to speak, but words wouldn’t form. What was wrong? How could he answer that. There was so much wrong. He was in love with his best friend, he sucked at volleyball, his friends were upset with him, he almost hurt Kuroo.

“Is it because of me?” Kuroo asked softly. He sounded so worried, like it physically hurt him to ask Bokuto that.

Of course it wasn’t Kuroo, it was Bokuto. There was something wrong with him. He’d never had to deal with being in love, especially unrequited love. He had no idea what the hell he was doing. Everything just hurt. He didn’t want to not be with Kuroo but the more he laid next to him or spent the day with him, the more he fell for him.

“No,” Bokuto decided to say. It was much simpler to just say no than to really tell Kuroo what was going through his brain.

It was quiet for a minute, and Bokuto took comfort in kuroo’s hand as it rubbed circles into his back. The friction made kuroo’s hand warmer, and Bokuto felt like maybe he could doze off like this, if there weren’t a million things going through his mind. 

“Do you want to go eat cereal?” Kuroo opted. He reached under Bokuto’s thin shirt, to scratch his back. Personal space had been thrown out long ago, back when Kuroo first started to sleep in Bokuto’s room. It was something Bokuto was proud of. He was glad Kuroo could do things like this, because it meant that he was comfortable. It was like a trophy for Bokuto, it meant he helped Kuroo.

“Yeah,” Bokuto admitted. Cereal, was a safety word that they had both grown accustom to. Cereal meant let’s go talk out in the kitchen. Let’s try to fix whatever is bothering you right now. It was mainly for Kuroo, during the first few weeks, when something was really bothering him, but after a while he stopped needing it.

The two rolled out of bed, Bokuto moving stiffly to the kitchen and sitting at the kitchen table. Kuroo moved a bit slower, squinting his eyes at the bright light. 

Bokuto sort of felt bad. He knew Kuroo opened the bakery today, and that meant he had to wake up at 5am, so he was probably really tired. 

Even so, Kuroo grabbed two bowls from the cabinet and walked over to the pantry for cereal. 

“What’s going on?” Kuroo spoke first, softly, as if Bokuto would break if he spoke any louder.

“I dunno,” Bokuto answered, running his hand through his hair. It was down now and kuroo could help but steal a glance before heading for the pantry. They had both picked out a cereal at the grocery store this week, Cheerios for Kuroo and lucky charms for Bokuto. 

“Something to do with volleyball?” Kuroo poured the different cereals in their designated bowls, before moving to the fridge. 

Bokuto watched glumly as Kuroo pulled out his horrid, horrid almond milk, that he insists is better for you than regular milk. Bokuto knows that’s a lie, and even if it was the truth he would deny it for the rest of his life. Still, he couldn’t help but smile as Kuroo poured it into his bowl, and then go back to the fridge to grab regular milk for Bokuto.

“I just feel like I’m the worst,” he admitted, putting his arms between his legs.

Kuroo turned to look at Bokuto, screwing the cap onto the milk, “Bo, cmon, you’re amazing, you know that.”

Bokuto heart pinched at the praise, “but I feel like I’m falling behind. Hajime and Oikawa learned some new freakishly good quick attack, and I can’t get the hang of it, and I feel like I’m falling behind-“

Kuroo grabbed two spoons, “Koutarou, you can’t compare yourself to everyone else. You’re amazing, and you know that,” he walked over to the table setting the bowl in front of Bokuto, and grabbing at his wrist, “and I know that you’re kick ass at volleyball. You’re the best! You just have to be, Ive seen you play,” he smiled.

Bokuto smiled too, though he felt like crying. He was so in love with Kuroo, it hurt. He was so kind and he put so much effort into their friendship. Kuroo didn’t have to say such nice things to Bokuto, but he did, and it made Bokuto love him more. It made him feel guilty as well though, because of what happened a few nights ago at the party. Every once in a while, Bokuto would catch a glimpse of kuroo’s terrified face from that night. He just couldn’t shake it from his mind no matter how hard he tried. Because he caused that face to appear on Kuroo, even if Kuroo denied it afterwards. He was responsible for that face, and if Kuroo hadn’t been quick with his reflexes, Bokuto wouldve really hurt Kuroo.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Bokuto shrugged his shoulders, feeling a bit more up to eat.

Kuroo smiled sincerely, “I know I’m right. I’m always right,” he laughed a bit and celebrated in his mind as he heard a chuckle escape Bokuto too.

Bokuto set down his spoon, chewing slowly. He wanted to continue complaining to Kuroo. It felt good to release all the tension. But at the same time, he knew he could never fully tell Kuroo what was happening, because part of the reason he was upset was because of him.

“Oikawa and Iwaizumi are mad at me,” Bokuto said instead.

Kuroo swallowed his Cheerios and gave Bokuto a questioning glance, “are you three fighting?”

Bokuto nodded his head, not really wanting to tell Kuroo why.

“Well, what happened?” 

Bokuto big his lip. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought that up. They were fighting because Bokuto was sulking about Kuroo and over working himself, and they also didn’t like how he was acting at the party, and there was absolutely no way he could tell Kuroo that. 

He grabbed his hair in anger, clenching it tightly into a fist. This was so frustrating. He wanted to cry. Bokuto couldn’t even man up and tell Kuroo how he felt about him, and because of it he was losing friends, stressing himself out and keeping it all a secret from his best friend.

He felt his face burn, a familiar feeling he got right before he cried. Bokuto heard the clatter Of kuroo’s spoon against the glass bowl, and soon his hand was softly grasping Bokuto’s, unraveling it from his damp, freshly showered hair.

“Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me what happened,” Kuroo said, successfully pulling bokutos hand out of his hair without pulling any out.

Kuroo could hear his breath get jagged. Maybe this was more serious than Kuroo has originally thought. Bokuto looked extremely upset, and it made his own heart break seeing him like that. Could it have to do with the party the other night?

Kuroo stood, “I’m sure,” he started walking closer to Bokuto, “I’m sure that whatever happened, can be fixed.” He wrapped his arms tightly around Bokuto’s head, pulling him closer.

“And if not, you have me,” Kuroo added, running his fingers through Bokuto’s multicolored locks. He continued, trying his best to comfort that distressed man, “as long as I’m here, no one can hurt you. Remember telling me that? Well it’s the same for me. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you,” he tried to sound sentimental, but it sort of just sounded awkward and cringey to Kuroo. He’d never been good with words.

Bokuto felt tears rolled down his cheeks, absorbing into kuroo’s shirt. Bokuto made that promise, and still ended up only punching Kuroo in the face. He was such a shit human being. How could he do this to Kuroo, and how could Kuroo act like everything was okay?

“I almost punched you Tetsu,” he reminded the man holding him so softly, and delicately as if Bokuto would shatter if he was too rough. Bokuto loved that about Kuroo.

“You were drunk. I know you would never hurt me, I told you I’m not scared or upset about that,” Kuroo held the man a little tighter, “I just wish you would stop hurting your own feelings over it.”

He couldn’t keep doing this. It was so painful. He has never loved anyone like this before, and the fact that Bokuto couldn’t have him was killing him. Bokuto physically couldn’t hold this in anymore.

“Bo, why’re you crying?” Kuroo asked pulling the mans face out from his shirt. Kuroo pulled his chair closer to Bokuto and sat in it.

“I love you,” Bokuto said. It felt like he was releasing all the hot air in his head.

“I love you too,” Kuroo cupped Bokuto’s cheek. It wasn’t easy for Kuroo to say it back, especially when his words meant more than Bokuto’s.

“No,” Bokuto sniffled, more years falling, “I mean like I’m in love with you,” he cried, reaching up to grab kuroo’s hand that held his face.

Kuroo’s eyes widened, speechless.

“I’ve been in love with you for so long, and I tried to hold it in for you, but I just can’t anymore. I love you so so much Tetsurou. It hurts,” Bokuto cried harder, a bit embarrassed. 

“Koutarou,” Kuroo felt his own tears well up at the sight of Bokuto. This wasn’t like the drunk bathroom crying Bokuto had done the other night. This was a pained cry, probably from holding it in for so long. Kuroo felt the exact same way.

“You always say I have everything I ever wanted, but I don’t! Because everything I’ve ever wanted is you. I love you Tetsu,” Bokuto was full blown crying now, and god it was embarrassing. He could feel snot dripping out of his nose and the tears stung his hot skin and they dropped down.

“I’ve loved you since high school, Bokuto,” Kuroo answered. He wiped at Bokuto’s tears and waited for the man to look at him.

“I know and I blew my chances with you and I’m sor-“

“Bo! Look at me,” Kuroo spoke over him. 

Bokuto glanced up at Kuroo, blinking away the last few tears. He braced himself for Kuroo words, afraid of what he’d say.

“I’m still in love with you,” Kuroo smiled. He felt like his skin was on fire and he knew he was blushing. This was a dream come true though. Never in a million years did he think Bokuto would ever want to be with someone like him, let alone cry about it.

“You are?” Bokuto croaked, wiping the snot off of his nose.

Kuroo smiled and nodded his head, before placing both of his hands on Bokuto’s cheeks and pulling him closer to press their lips together.

It was salty, and chapped and tasted like toothpaste mixed with lucky charms, but Kuroo wouldn’t change anything about it. He felt Bokuto tense at first before wrapping both of his arms around kuroo’s waist and pulled him closer.

Bokuto was on top of the clouds right now. He couldn’t believe that this was happening. All of that painful shit was for nothing, and he was almost embarrassed at how upset he’d been about this for almost the entire month. He greedily pushed his tongue into kuroo’s mouth, wanting as much as he could get, just Incase this was a dream.

Kuroo wrapped his arms around bokutos neck and pulled his closer. He could feel how happy Bokuto was, radiating from his body.

After a minute, Kuroo pulled back first, smiling at the other man, “so does this Alleviate some of your stress?”

Bokuto nodded his head, smiling like a kid who got his favorite candy after a long night of trick or treating.

And Kuroo felt proud to be that piece of candy.

“Would you please be my boyfriend?” Bokuto smiled excitedly.

He was blushing like a bashful idiot, but Kuroo wouldn’t change anything about his face. This felt like a moment from a fairy tale, which had become a common feeling ever since Kuroo moved in. 

“Yes of course,” Kuroo giggled. Bokuto leaned forward out of his chair to hug Kuroo tightly, making him smile even harder if possible. Bokuto must’ve gained all of his confidence back now, because soon he was lifting Kuroo up again, ignoring kuroo’s loud squeal, and carrying them back to what was now their bedroom.

Not just Bokuto’s, but theirs. He pushed Kuroo down onto the bed before placing a knee in between the others legs, and greedily kissing him. Now Bokuto understood what people meant when they felt sparks fly. This was like fireworks. There tongues grazed past eachother, and Bokuto noticed how submissive Kuroo had gotten. He was soft, and gentle as he kissed Bokuto’s more hungry, longing lips. His hand cupped Bokuto’s cheek, the other wrapped tightly around Bokuto’s neck.

He felt the ravens hand slide under Bokuto’s shirt, pushing it up and pressing his long, slender fingers against Bokuto’s skin. It suddenly occurred to him though, that he’d never done this before. Bokuto had never gone this far with anyone. At most he’d only ever made out with people, and gotten like a blowjob twice. But he’d never gone all the way. He had the stuff for it, because who doesn’t keep a package of condoms in their drawer, and lube from that one time that Oikawa got a free one online for buying two bottles. 

Were they seriously about to go all the way? Bokuto wanted to, but was Kuroo seriously okay with it?

Kuroo broke off the kiss, trailing soft kisses down bokutos jaw, neck and then finally sucking down at his collarbone, to leave a bruise. Bokuto felt the growing erection in his pants as he felt it grind against kuroo’s. Bokuto pulled at the docile mans shirt, tugging it off quickly and taking everything in. He’d seen Kuroo without a shirt on, but not Like this. Not when he was panting under Bokuto, skin tinted a rosy color. Bokuto quickly pulled his own off as well.

He leaned back down and kissed Kuroo again, this time reaching up to pinch at the mans small pink nipples. Kuroo let out a surprised moan against Bokuto’s mouth.

The raven reach down to cup Bokuto’s erection. He was big, Kuroo could tell. Much bigger than the dick he’d taken for the last five years. He pulled at the hem of the larger mans pants, probably a bit to eager to seem sexy, but Kuroo didn’t care. He grasped Bokuto’s dick, and holy shit it was thick too, before stroking it softly. 

Bokuto grunted, “hey... I haven’t uh,” his words started to die off, almost like he was embarrassed.

Kuroo gave him a hazy, but questioning glance. Was he reading the room wrong? Was this not something the other wanted?

Bokuto blushed and leaned his head on the others shoulder, “I’m still a virgin.”

That was something Kuroo didn’t expect. It made sense, now that he’d thought about it, because Bokuto hadn’t really been in a relationship, and wasn’t one to mess around with people at party’s, but Kuroo just always assumed Bokuto had done it. He could tell the other was getting nervous from kuroo’s lack of words and Kuroo couldn’t help but let out a ‘pfft’ at the fact that Bokuto really thought Kuroo would care.

“Hey, it’s ok,” Kuroo said awkwardly. He pushed Bokuto’s shoulder up so they were looking at each other. “Do you uh, have the stuff?”

Bokuto nodded his head and pulled open his nightstand drawer to grab the lube and condoms. 

Kuroo smiled hard, at that. He was really about to have sex with the love of his life. If he could go back in time and tell this to high school Kuroo, he probably would’ve gotten punched in the face.

Bokuto was blushing and Kuroo could tell that he was nervous. He tried thinking back to the first time he had sex, but he was with Daishou, and it was super painful so maybe his first time wasn’t the best example. He wished Bokuto was his first too. 

“I know what to do, I’m just saying it might not be mind blowing with me,” Bokuto shrugged his shoulders, still hovering above Kuroo. Bokuto sucked in a breath when the other pressed his thumb lightly against the tip of his dick.

Kuroo pulled at Bokuto’s shoulders, kissing him sweetly, “my first time was really scary and forced, so I wanna make sure it’s mind blowing for you okay?”

Bokuto stared at kuroo sadly before he nodded his head, pushing the sad words to the back of his mind as he was pulled back into another kiss.

Soon, Kuroo was pushing Bokuto onto his back, and trailing kisses down his stomach, until finally wrapping his warm lips around Bokuto cock. The golden eyed man groaned, grabbing kuroo’s locks gently. He probably didn’t notice, but for Kuroo this was something to grin about. It was such a strict contrast from Daishou and how he would pull kuroo’s hair to assert dominance, rather than to show affection.

He continued to bobbed his head, trying his best not to gag every time the tip hit the back of his throat. He hollowed his cheeks to suck, rubbing the inside of his cheeks against Bokuto’s length.

“F-fuck,” Bokuto gritted his teeth. If Kuroo kept this up, he’d cum. He pulled at kuroo’s face, letting the man crawl above him to sloppily kiss Bokuto. He ran his hand down kuroo’s skinny side, and then finally under kuroo’s shorts and underwear to grope his ass.

And although it may not be important to the story, Bokuto would like to note that kuroo’s ass was everything he had ever dreamed.

He pushed kuroo’s shorts down until they rested at the end of his knees, still somehow managing to kiss him deeply. Kuroo’s skin was smooth, and it was the most euphoric feeling for Bokuto. He fumbled for the lube, pausing to laugh a little at how hard it was for Bokuto to open, and finally, much to Bokuto’s pleasure, slid one finger into Kuroo.

The other tensed a bit as first, probably because it had been a while since he had sex, but soon his body loosened into Bokuto’s touch.

After a minute of feeling around, Kuroo moaned louder, breaking the kiss and pushing his face into the pillow. Bokuto pressed into a certain spot again and watched as kuroo’s back arched as he let out another moan. His voice was so cute, Bokuto thought. It was light, and nothing like his usual voice. It made him feel good to know that he was one of the only ones who could hear it.

“Mmm no more teasing,” Kuroo moaned, legs trembling against Bokuto’s side. Bokuto’s breath hitched as Kuroo swiftly pulled out his fingers and lowered himself onto Bokuto. 

He felt like he was high, as kuroo’s body took in Bokuto full length, “you’re huge,” Kuroo whispered biting at his lips.

Bokuto smiled at the compliment and soon Kuroo had his arms on Bokuto’s chest and his body was grinding into Bokuto’s. 

“Ngh, bo,” Kuroo moaned with each movement. This was so different. But a good different. It was nothing like Daishou and that made it everything Kuroo had ever wanted or needed. He’d never felt so in love during sex. It wasnt scary, and it didn’t hurt, and Bokuto looked at him with so much love. He felt himself start to tear up, and he blamed it on all of the hormones of sex.

“Tetsu,” Bokuto grabbed kuroo’s face pulling him closer to his chest and he thrusted into kuroo.

“Why’re you crying?” He asked, so soft, as if Kuroo was a delicate peace of glass. “Does it hurt? Do we need to stop?”

Kuroo shook his head, kissing Bokuto selfishly. “No don’t stop,” he begged as he continued to move his hips. 

Bokuto’s grabbed at kuroo’s hips, slamming him down until the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room.

“Ahh, shit,” Kuroo almost screamed with each thrust. It hurt, but it was a good hurt if that made sense. It felt like he was closer with Bokuto than he ever had been. Well technically he was, now they were in a relationship.

Bokuto wiped away a stray tear, concerned that maybe this was too much for Kuroo right now, “what is it?”

Kuroo shook his head, squeezing his eyes ship to stop the happy tears from falling, “no it’s nothing. I just-ah— I’m just really happy it’s you this time, Koutaro.”

That was pretty much all it took for Bokuto to lose his mind. He flipped the two of them so that Kuroo was on his back, and started to slam into him, wanting to hear his voice moan for him, over and over again.

“I’m happy it’s you too, Tetsurou.” Bokuto said breathlessly again kuroo’s lips before their tongues met again, both greedily taking in the other. 

“‘M gonna cum,” Kuroo moaned into Bokuto’s ear.

“Me too,” Bokuto pushed Kuroo’s leg to rest on top of his shoulder and he pounded himself even deeper into the raven.

“Koutarou,” Kuroo moaned as he came all over his stomach. Soon Bokuto was squeezing kuroo’s leg tightly and cumming inside of Kuroo, before falling onto of him, out of breath.

Kuroo wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s neck, ignoring the feeling of cum inside him and all over his chest. They completely forgot about the condoms, but Kuroo couldn’t seem to care.

He ran his fingers through Bokuto’s soft hair, “I love you.”

Bokuto’s smiled against kuroo’s neck, “I love you too.”

The next morning Bokuto got up early to get ready for the championship game. He got out of bed, and softly pressed a kiss onto kuroo’s head. It gave him butterflies, and he really wanted to wake Kuroo up for an actual kiss, and possibly sex, but he would probably get a kick to the stomach if he tried that.

So instead he got ready and headed out to his volleyball game.

It hadn’t really occurred to him that he was still fighting with two of his best friends though, and soon he was back to biting his nails and dreading the thought of seeing them.

When he walked into the gym, the two were already there, stretching out and talking. Well, Oikawa was talking and Iwaizumi looked like he wanted to die because of how loud Oikawa was so earlier in the morning.

“Hey guys,” Bokuto sat down with them, awkwardly including himself in their small circle to stretch out.

“Ah! I don’t wanna talk to you until you’ve confessed! Nope! Nope! Lalala,” Oikawa chanted turning around and putting his ears over his hands.

Iwaizumi pulled oikawas arm, and yanked him around, “he hasn’t even spoke yet, and it’s way to early for you to be yelling like this,” he growled, and Bokuto couldn’t help but smile at the two.

“Ah,” Bokuto scratched the back of his head blushing, he looked up refusing to meet the other twos eyes, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being such an ass. I was really stressed out and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you two.”

When Bokuto looked down the other two seemed to have nothing to say, probably because of how awkward it was. They weren’t really the type of friends to get all sappy, or at least Bokuto and Iwaizumi werent. 

“I understand. We were just concerned,” Iwaizumi patted Bokuto’s back.

Bokuto looked to Oikawa for his forgiveness, but instead received nothing, as Oikawa seemed more interested in his cuticles.

“Hey! I was just insanely uncool right now and it would be pretty damn rude for you to not notice,” Bokuto blushed frowning at the other.

Oikawa continued to look at his nails, “eh, I guess we’re cool. We’d be even cooler if you could just man up and confess to him,” Oikawa smirked towards the end, hoping to hit a nerve with Bokuto.

“I actually did end up confessing,” Bokuto nodded, proudly.

And only then did the couples mood completely changed. Both of their jaws dropped and soon they were jumping on bokuto, knocking him to the ground.

“Oh my god what happened!” Oikawa screamed in excitement, probably more so for Kuroo than Bokuto.

“You idiot you didn’t even text us first!” Iwaizumi yelled as well, putting Bokuto’s head in a head lock and grinding his knuckles into his hair.

The coaches whistle sounded, “if you three keep that up I’ll have you running laps in front of this huge crowd!”

At that, the three of them dispersed quickly, not wanting to run in front of the packed in stadium.

“Why are you guys so excited I didn’t even tell you if he said yes or not!” Bokuto laughed.

“Well of course he said yes!” Oikawa smiled excitedly.

The buzzer sounded, and the teams went to the respective sides to warm up.

“How did you know?” Bokuto asked, eyes wide as he grabbed a ball and lined up to serve.

He served, and ran over to the end of the line.

After Iwaizumi served, he ran to the back of the line as well.

“If he had said no, I don’t think he would be here like that,” Iwaizumi said, motioning up to the stands with a smirk.

Bokuto whipped his head up to the stands to see Kuroo, sitting with Kenma and akaashi. Kenma and Akaashi both sported blue tshirts with the name of Their team on it. Kenma’s eyes were glued to his newest game, and Akaashi was reading the pamphlet that they handed out at the entrance of the stadium.

Kuroo, however, wore Bokuto’s sweatshirt, that had his team name and a number four on the back. Kuroo smiled fondly when Bokuto finally noticed him and waved. This time, he knew that Kuroo deliberately put on his shirt, and it made him even more pumped to play in front of him.

Bokuto waved back with a huge grin. 

“Aww Iwachan I wanna wear your hoodies to the game,” Oikawa whined running back to them.

“Idiot,” Iwaizumi tapped the back of Oikawa’s head, “your playing in the games with me.”

They had won. Of course, because they had Bokuto on the team and Kuroo 100% believed that anything Bokuto tried, he would succeed.

Oikawa and Bokuto got handed the trophy and medals to hand out, and Kuroo watched as news broadcasters zeroed in on his boyfriend who held the trophy. He smiled too when he saw Iwaizumi give Oikawa a tight hug and quick peck. Winning something like this was a huge deal. It was something Bokuto would always remember.

Kuroo, Kenma and Akaashi walked down stairs to watch as the team celebrated. Bokuto looked so happy, and Kuroo heart throbbed at the man when he noticed Kuroo.

He watched as Bokuto handed off the trophy to one of the other team mates. Kuroo wondered why, mainly because Bokuto was an attention whore and loved being the center of all excitement. 

Bokuto walked over to Kuroo. 

“Hey, awesome job! I knew you could do it, this has been your dream for like ever.” Kuroo congratulated. He felt many eyes on him at the moment, and he wondered how the media would feel about Bokuto being gay.

“Nah,” Bokuto shook his head, looking way to cool in Kuroo’s opinion. “You’re my dream come true.” 

Bokuto tugged at the fabric of kuroo’s, well Bokuto’s, jacket sleeves and pulled him into a kiss. Kuroo felt himself blush as all of his team mates let out a little ‘woo’ and Oikawa dramatically yelled “finally,” as if it had been more of a victory for him than the two in a relationship. 

Kuroo leaned back, ignoring everyone else. The only one that matter was the goofball in front of him, “oh god you’re so corny.” He laughed.

Bokuto smiled, now playing with the string of the sweatshirt Kuroo wore, “but you love it,” he smiled, tugging the string closer.

Kuroo let it pull him in until he was able to hug Bokuto. He smelt like sweat and his body was overheating and slippery, but Kuroo buried himself deeper into Bokuto. He nuzzled into the man neck, wrapping his arms around him tightly, before deciding that this moment, this exact second,

Was everything he had ever wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JOIN THE BOKUROO DISCORD!!!!!!
> 
> https://discord.gg/cgx4Db5
> 
> Also y’all should check out the author- thedeathofme for more amazing bokuroo
> 
> Anddddd I’m working on an omegaverse bokuroo next


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